Ketsbaia

Marv, Anita, Taylor on for Debuchy, Sissoko, Cisse (i think)

Ben Arfa dropping shoulders and dribbling away from defence

And we scored from a corner. This is insanity.

Lee Ryder ‏@lee_ryder 1m Coloccini equalises after a Sammy Ameobi throw in. 1-1 here #nufc

CONER GOAL!E"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hatem's through ball, Shola stepovers it straight to the keeper. Nice.

Who? Cabaye, Ben Arfa, Colo, Krul, Cisse, Yanga-Mbiwa. Also need to put a word in for Debuchy and Sissoko. Quality individuals and full of internationals, but they just aren't playing well together.

"The lack of names on the back of the shirts really confused the lads, we never stood a chance".

It's gonna be a looooong season

It's clear that we have a fantastic bunch of individuals (bettered only by the top 5 and arguably Liverpool), but they're not a team at all. Whilst this partly points to the flaws in our transfer strategy, the vast majority of the blame lies with Pardshit. With his loyalty to invalid 'players' like Shola/Jonas and the horrific lack of cohesion in our play, he's an absolute disgrace. Until the fat man finally goes, the best we can hope for is to stay afloat, avoid relegation and not offend anyone. How depressing.

To be fair, the QPR one should never have been a pel.

Newcastle, pronounced with extra T.

Nice turnout

Yanga and Colo together, that'll be interesting. But its absolutely pathetic that Jonas and Shola play ahead of Anita and Marveaux.

Aye we got the last laugh, really.

Gomis wants to come here, as seen on Instagram, but I guess Marseille would be even better. So, as he's happy to sign for us and Lyon HAVE to take money, I think this'll still happen. The two clubs will reach a compromise and Gomis will be ok with coming here, you'd think.

George, is Sturridge doing ok? I heard he's not played during pre-season.

This is where I'm at right now http://i.imgur.com/BHEPEgW.png £3m left.....either to upgrade Lukaku to Rooney or Ben Arfa to Coutinho/Silva/Navas. Big transfers need to hurry up!

Also, that Hansen laugh "Let's be blokes, Gary. Banter".

Lawro ;D

Chelsea start with a double gameweek because of the Super Cup, so everyone should stack up on 3 players! Hull (h) and Villa (h), easy peasy. The main problem is guessing which striker will start until Rooney arrives, I suppose it should be Lukaku.

Hands are tightly grasped for Shola's departure. Just go, man.

Yeah, really want Real Sociedad to do it. Schalke have got it easy though, playing a team that we beat - a team that Shola scored past!

I've pretty much decided on Soldado, Lambert and a Chelsea striker as my front 3. Bony will come in shortly, as will Suarez after his suspension ends. Was hoping to fit a Liverpool player in but theres no room.

We can be the Marseille to West Brom's Newcastle