ChrisMcQuillan

That's fecking weak...

It was the 'coaching staff' wasn't it?

SSN: Newcastle United have been linked with a shock move for Norwegian midfielder Per Ciljan Skjelbred. The Premier League side have been linked with the midfielder for some time, but Sky Sports News understands that a move may be close that would bring the midfielder out of retirement and to St. James' Park for the 2044/45 season. Although now 72 years old and having owned the Tyneside club through twenty consecutive relegation and promotion seasons, Newcastle owner Mike Ashley is understood to be reluctant to part with any capital investment and a free transfer would certainly appeal. First linked in the 2006/7 season, Newcastle's interest in Skjelbred has not abated. Since then, however, the club has been criticised by fans for spending a grand total of €2 million euros on new signings, and the re-signing of Kevin Nolan was an unpopular move. Fifty five and now mobile only through use of a large winch, the midfielder's only impact at St James last season was to create a large dent in the centre circle. Whilst Skjelbred may move to Tyneside in the next few hours, the success of such a move remains to be seen. Newcastle are thought to be keeping a close eye on Greenham Athletic's part-time defender Gerry Smith, but may face competition from the local post office who are keen to offer the centre-back a £6/hr deal - one which Newcastle may struggle to match. The wait for success in the Toon continues. 4th August 2044 Related stories: Mike Ashley raises season tickets to record prices Nolan's triple bypass "a success" Owen continues to harbour hope of England recall

Harper - 7 - Most of what went in wasn't his fault at all. Could have done better for first. Saved a couple of decent opportunities for them. Perch - 3 - Exposed. Utterly. He looked nervous and out of his depth in the first half. Only less so in the second because they went after Enrique more. Coloccini - 6 - Shaky. Decent in actual defending largely but looked nervous also, as a matter of fact. Williamson - 7 - Good in the air. Probably our most solid defender tonight. Enrique - 6 - He's better than that. Hopefully just rusty. Smith - 7 - Not understanding all the hate. Did his job, and much better than Butt would have. Barton - 6 - Potential is there. Hopefully it'll continue to grow. Nolan - 3 - Anonymous. Did he do a single thing apart from slow everything down? Only noteworthy incident was when his balls got crushed in the wall for their free kick. TBF, he's hard to miss. Jonas - 5 - Poor. A shadow of how he played at OT two seasons ago. Hopefully he sharpens up soon. Routledge - 6.5 - Looked like he was determined, and level-headed, but lacked that grit in the final third. Maybe because there was rarely anyone ahead of him. Carroll - 7 - Led the line well, never gave up on anything and did cause them a few problems. Should have taken that header tho. Ameobi - 6 - Not much time on the pitch. Xisco - 6 - Ditto, but decent in the few touches he did have. Should have tracked back to help Enrique more, though, from that position.

I think it's evident that Chelsea and Man Utd just continue to pull ahead of everyone else. They should have their own league and just play each other ten times. We'll only be expecting wins of bottom half teams, and scraping them off teams finishing between 7th and 10th. Anything above 6th will beat us, and Chelsea/Man United will have the potential to annihilate us.

This.

Wigan. 9-0.

Raylor <-> Perch Vuckic <-> Nolan Thx.

Perch has been woeful.

NO OWEN!

Andy Gray looks smug already.

Barton and Nolan? Our other CMs?

Hughton's such an awesome guy.

Flown through Newcastle a lot of times. Looks like the airport to me. And looks like Ben Arfa.

This is how to make moves in the transfer market. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/b/blackpool/8904013.stm

Hughton said no 'direct' contact. Perhaps because Ben Arfa is away, as people say.

We'll go: Harper Perch Coloccini Williamson Enrique Routledge Barton Smith Nolan Jonas Carroll Subs: Krul, R Taylor, Campbell, Guthrie, Ben Arfa, Lovenkrands, Ameobi 3-1 defeat. Rooney, Nani & Owen Nolan

where then someone jumps on him to celebrate with him and breaks both of owens hamstrings Just get Nolan to to sit on him. He'd be out for life.

SWEET

It looks like an asshole !! So does my face, it works well.

If they don't show the penalties, I'll join the BNP. J/K.

I think they have.

We're incapable of scoring, man.

Why the fuck isn't Lovenkrands taking it? He's our penalty taker.

Best's header doesn't count as there was a foul in the build-up.