The Prophet

Martins was one of the most frustrating footballers I've ever watched. He had all the attributes to be a top striker but didn't have a footballing brain to put them to any use. Provided us with as many regrettable moments as memorable. Having said that I did feel sorry for him at times during the previous campaign.

The Keegan formation with Martins and Viduka up top and Owen playing in 'the hole' would of ripped the current lot a new one.

Everton -1 Mallorca Napoli

Cheers lads.

Newcastle Forest Norwich Milwall Southampton

Got some spare time on my hands so here's some players I'd be looking at over the next couple of windows. I've only covered the English leagues and I can't help but feel we'd have to look abroad for a decent right back/goal scoring striker that fits the Ashley model (under 26 etc): Lee Camp - Excellent young prospect, can see him competing for the England number one spot one day. Provided Forest don't get promoted I doubt they'd demand a silly fee although in this up and coming summer window a keeper probably isn't top of our priorities. James Tompkins - Can cover centre back and right back, looks to be a decent prospect. Although he's young and English so West Ham would probably deamnd a daft price. Philippe Senderos - Never been his greatest fan but we could do a hell of a lot worse. Out of contract too I think. Alan Hutton - Looks like he's off to the mackems but worth a punt. Great going forward but still worry about him defensively, a definate improvement on Simpson. Ben Watson - I've been impressed whenever I've seen this lad play, admittedly that's only a handful of times. Looks like a decent, energetic box-to-box midfielder. Jack Collison - Probably one of the more unrealistic transfers on the list, decent young centre mid, would probably need someone more expereinced playing alongside him given he's looked very inexperienced. Loads of potential but we probably need someone who's learnt the game a bit longer than this lad. Jamie O'Hara - Frequently linked. Looks like a decent young prospect in the middle of the park, would certianly give us some more energy in the middle amoungst other things. Jack Wilshire (loan) - With returning players and the potential for new signings Wilshire's chances of first team football could be limited. Could be a very good short term signing. Kevin-Prince Boateng - Linked with us a fair bit, predominantly plays on the right wing but can play in the centre too. Would provide cover/a replacement for Routledge who is unproven in the top flight. Again though I'm not sure a winger would be top of the priority list in the summer. Chris Eagles - An alternative to Boateng. Frequently the stand out player in a Burnley side destined for relegation. Should be available for a sensible fee too. Valon Behrami - Another right winger, can also cover right back. Jordi Gomez After an impressive season in the Championship last year he's very much had an inconsistant season. His potential is evident, I particularly remember the game against Villa on the opening day of the season, he absolutely ran the show. Would certianly be a risk and a player I'd be more confident playing at home, perhaps in place of Nolan who could be more helpful on the road. Obviously being a risk I wouldn't pay a massive fee but certianly worth a look. Nened Milijas - Like Gomez inconsistant play maker. Wolves would probably deamnd a sizeable fee for him too. Has still looked quality in parts this season, worth a look. Vladimir Weiss (loan) - Currently on loan at Bolton, can play as an attacking mid or a right winger. Could be a decent short term aquisition. Steven Fletcher - Another Burnely player I've been impressed with. Although his goal tally isn't great (who's would be in the side he's playing in) he frequently troubles defenders and certainly looks to be a decent prospect. Admittedly if he I was buying him I'd be looking at another more prolific striker to play along side him. Kevin Doyle - Has proved with Reading and Wolves he can score goals at the highest level, couldn't see Wolves letting him go on the cheap given they've more or less secured promotion. James Vaughn (loan) - Doubt Everton would sell him but could be a decent loan. He appaears to made of glass but when he is fit look as though he could bang a few in. Carlos Vela (loan) - Never really had a regular run of games in the Premier League but remember a couple of years ago when he was scoring for fun at Osasuna.

Aye, Barca's squad is shite like.

On loan perhaps.

Well done Andy: 'I told you, if the keeper dives the right way he has a chance of saving it'. Congratulations your a genius.

Interesting season of betting, here's my personal list of teams that I have found reliable or that have f***ed me over on a regular basis: The Good Obviosuly our lot have been consistant but I for some odd reason I don't like betting on them. Also Notts County have rarely let me down but the final three are: 3. Forest - Very, very reliable at home. Safe bet partiuclarly during mid-season. 2. Swindon - Don't think they've let me down all season. Inconsistant away but home bankers for large parts of the season. 1. Norwich - Home or away very, very reliable team to stick a large wager on. I owe Grant Holt a pint or two. The Bad Honourable mentions go to both Stockport and Rochdale, both had consistant seasons for different reasons but rarely gave me peace of mind on the betting front. However they're know competition for the fucknuts in the final three: 3. Walsall - A strange selection you might think but often went through spells of form, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Unfortunately those runs seemed to come to an end when I placed them in my accy. Haven't touched them for months, bastards. 2. Cardiff - Ruined a couple of bets by dropping points against sides in and around the relegation zone, a boxing day defeat to Plymouth still annoys me to this day. 1. Peterborough Absolute s**** but often played like Real Madrid when I wagerd against them. I also remember having a daft bet on them and a couple of other outsiders, they were ahead for ages during the game but conceded late on to ruin proceedings. c***s of the highest order.

What's with the dramatic music during formation discussion?

Yeah you're right, all the best to the lad, hope he goes on to bigger and better things as he obviously chose the biggest club. f*** off!!! He's hardly even started a game for them so to me the better choice, career wise, would have been to join us. Hindsight-tastic.

Throughly enjoyed this game too teams really going for it. Probably seals the relegation of the three down there too. Watson man of the match for me, excellent. Fabianski is a clown.

Fabianski, oh dear, oh dear.

Why? Why? Cos I genuinely believe he had the choice to sign for us but turned us down in favour of going to Wigan. Anything else? Calm down. By all accounts it was us that were fannying around with the fee, it's all sepculation though. Even if he did turn us down I don't blame him, could be easily viewed as a better career move.

Moses is one quick bastard.

Been impressed with Watson today, could be a canny signing.

Why?

Cheers, will know doubt lose it all during the World Cup.

I know people don't appreciate been told about bets afterwards but won a cushty £60 today: Leicester Reading Swansea Notts County Rochdale Not been a bad start to April after a truly woeful March.

Tevez 40-1 to be world cup top scorer, interesting.

Oh Corals, you crafty, crafty twats.

Merson really is fucking clueless. It's scary how this man is employed to pull these incoherent statements out his arse week in, week out.