Ahem. OK, here's what we've got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires are forcing our Coloccini to go to Argentina early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0y2er4VfJ1qztjn5o1_500.png
We're through the looking glass, here, people...