Village Idiot

Levante's Toño has been arrested and sent to jail without bail with a list of charges that makes him look like a Narcos supporting character. The club had extended his contract just a few days before the arrest.

Platko Martino Herrera Aragonés Rijkaard Guardiola Kubala Rifé Luís Enrique Cruyff Reixach We should have signed Koeman as coach to shore up that defence.

I'm going to go with 7 on purely the basis of Almirón being the first exciting attacking talent the club has bought since... Wijnaldum? Not saying he's going to succeed, just that it's the first player in years that looks like could be something different.

Sulley Muntari to Albacete in Spanish Second Division. Love this kind of signings - which almost never work out.

Espanyol signed Facundo Ferreyra right before the deadline. Wonder if he'll fate better than Doumbia at Girona.

We have also brought in Todibo now instead of at the end of the season. Now we'll have too many CBs, when a couple months ago we were playing Rakitic there...

It wouldn't be a Barça window without a weird/shady deal for a Brazilian player, so we have announced the purchase of Emerson from Atlético Mineiro in a weird co-ownership deal alongside Betis, where he'll play for the next two seasons.

Today was nice. Messi

VI what’s the deal with Barca on transfers? You should get a lot of money via Suarez, Digne and Gomes You definitely need a LB if Miranda isn’t ready, a CF and a winger as priority for me (assuming Rabiot comes alone with FDJ) And will Valverde leave? That's indeed our shopping list for next season, although I would like Miranda to get promoted to the senior team. No names yet, which I actually consider a good thing given how much we telegraph our transfers. Our president has confirmed that Valverde will be manager next season, but I guess that could change if we have a poor finish to the season.

So Depay has said he'd love to move to one of Europe's great clubs. Now our media are running shite "Depay to Madrid or Barça" clickbait headlines. God I hate the age of internet sports press

I zoomed in for you guys: That huge orange headless torso will haunt my dreams now.

Tbf Luque was unplayable before you signed him. A white Ronaldinho. It has surfaced over the years that he had shite professionalism, so I think he can only blame himself for not living up to those Depor years.

That's why I said "of his mold". I haven't seen any lightweight playmakers from the MLS making it at this level - unless I'm forgetting somebody. This Almirón guy seems to have pace, which at least is something that's always going to be useful.

Not many players of his mold have managed the jump from the MLS to the PL though. That worries me a bit.

Yeah but you could put nearly any human being’s name on the end of that sentence. Joselu OUT Hitler IN Joselu OUT Pol Pot IN Joselu OUT Voldemort IN Joselu OUT Pardew IN 3/4 ain't bad, I guess.

What did you have to say that for? I'd like Santon right now, tbf. For NUFC, I mean.

GTFI

We've loaned Denis Suárez to Arsenal. I don't think he has the character to make it at that level, but he's a very talented player. Wish him the best.

Espanyol have signed Wu Lei from Shanghai in the Chinese League. It's most likely a marketing stunt (Espanyol are owned by a Chinese billionaire) but he's supposedly the best Chinese player of his generation (150 goals in 300 games in the Chinese league), so I wonder if he can have an impact over here.

We already signed Todibo for this summer window. I really doubt we'll pursue De Ligt.

Missed having outfield Dutch players in our squad. Last one was Affelay and he didn't have much of an impact.

Mikel would walk in our midfield We already have Shelvey for that. Summer.

Also, Atlético indeed need to cut their roster in order to sign Morata.

Can't say much about him, he's barely played for Atlético. I guess a loan is certainly possible.

I have honestly not seen De Jong play outside of youtube, but he's meant to be a Busquets replacement and we need that dearly. It's just that paying so much for a youngster playing in a minor league... you have to take those gambles sometimes, I guess.