MKSC

tl;dr I'll get that in before anyone else does.

Dear Newcastle-Online, I hereby tender my resignation as a supporter of Newcastle United Football Club. As I type this it is 2:15am. I have been awake for a little under 23 hours and have just got home after driving 586 miles to take part in the protest today. On two occasions in the recent past I have told myself that I would never return to St James' Park. Today is the third. Three strikes and you're out. Although the reason for my decision, in stark contrast to the last two (unsurprisingly after the last two horrific home performances against Sunderland) this actually doesn't have anything to do with the actual football. This time it is because, in my eyes, Newcastle United is actually dead. I am utterly ashamed of the people who go to watch the matches and no longer wish to be associated with them. Today I, and a good number of other people who volunteered to take part in the protest, were abused and threatened by their fellow fans. Some were even manhandled by club employees. I fully expected the club to be as difficult as they could be. Mike Ashley's regime is nothing if not ruthlessly efficient at putting down any form of discontent. So good in fact that they put even Stalin's USSR to shame. I wasn't surprised that they were confiscating banners at the gates. That is par for the course. What did surprise me was the attitude of the people inside the ground. I stood for the best part of four hours handing out sackpardew.com posters. I must have given out well over 2000 on my own. Only once did someone give me any grief, ripping up the poster and throwing it on the ground in a self-righteous display of super-fandom. Everyone else who I spoke to was only too keen to take them. Good on ya, they said. Get him out of wor club. Give him hell today. Let's hope he goes after this. And so on. And so on. Etc. Etc. So what the hell happened. Where did you all go? Without too much effort I managed to sneak in a large stash of posters and a banner. I handed them out around me. Again, people were taking them off me with relish. Five minutes arrives. I stand up, banner on display, look around me. Nothing. Nada. Sweet FA. All sitting on their hands. From where I stood it looked much the same story around the ground. A few people, particularly in the Strawberry Corner, displayed their banners but most did nothing. Then the abuse started. Sit down man. I cannit see. Sit down dickhead. Fuck's sake. I'll take that off yous. I'll deck ya in a minute. Charming people, one and all. I've had a long time to think about this as my journey home took in no less than five 50 mph average speed check zones on the A1/M1 back to London. Today cost me around £100 in petrol, the price of my ticket, and at least £40 in food and copious amounts of coffee. It also cost me an argument with my wife and a sizable favour from my parents. The cost is, I'm afraid, just too high. I can't say I even watched much of the game with any degree of interest. Over the last two years I've overcome a degree of personal issues and made changes for the better in my life. Tomorrow I start at University at the age of 33. I no longer feel that I have room in my life for the pain and hurt this football club causes me. Nearly five years ago I stumbled across this forum. At first it brought me closer to the club as I met real people and shared laughs, drinks and good times with them. Now I'd say these people are the only thing that keeps me going to the games. You know who you are and each and every one of you have been amazing. Newcastle United have been my only real weakness for some time. I don't smoke or take drugs (I'm not having a go IP before you start- btw, met your brother, he is class, great beard), I rarely drink, I've cut out a massive amount of junk food, a sex addiction would be nice but I think that ship has sailed. This club was my only real vice and right now I feel like, for the sake of my sanity, I need to give them up too. This isn't some kind of flounce. I'm not deleting my account on here. I'll still be about from time to time, but I think I need to take a while to get on with other things. Mike Ashley, Alan Pardew and 50,000 idiots have killed Newcastle United Football Club for me and I hate them for it. RIP NUFC. Peace out. Much love to you all. MKSC

They got to him. He's been assimilated. RIP Shearergol.

I'm Spartacus.

f***ing hell. Serious? That is what the guy told me. No reason to doubt him. He's a regular customer in here and a nice bloke. Who knew Pardew was a cunt eh.

Just had a chat with a customer in my shop who works on the underground station at Heathrow T5. Said he sees Pardew at least three times a week and regularly chats football with him. He said he'd asked him about living up there as he's always flying back to London. We obviously all know this as it is well documented that he is only up here a couple of days a week. Apparently Pards told him he lived down here as he doesn't want to live in a cave and everyone up there lives in caves, along with some more unsavoury comments on the north in general. Not really new information or surprising but just thought I'd let you know.

I'll be booking my budget megabus next week when my student loan comes through. Depending on if I can find a super cheap room I may or may not take up elfy's offer of bed and board. Really looking forward to this. Despite the reasons behind it being obviously sad it should be a really good weekend.

I'll bring my own darts with me this time.

Shit. That delicately placed 'okay guy' almost made me feel bad. Almost. Offer still stands. Does anyone want Neesy? I'm sure we can strike a deal. I am happy to accept promises of beer in the evening as a transfer fee.

Ooooh. Me, Slim, Nut, Neej. Not too bad. Shame about Neesy mind. Anyone interested in a swap deal?

Must have been a hitters ball park that one. Looks barely 200 feet to the stands.

Here we go. Jim White night is on. And Natalie, of course. Times like these I'm minded to walk the 100 yards to the Sky studio and perv over her.

Or just go to the pub.

That is generally how it works Neesy.

I just can't see us getting relegated. Sure, we look rubbish at the minute but we've got more than enough players of mid-table quality to keep us up despite the moron who is picking the team. I've got us at a solid 4. We might flirt with it for a while but come the end of April we'll be 10 or so points clear.

That depends entirely on who is employed as manager on the day.

Sadly I can't make that weekend as it's my son's birthday, but I'll be there in spirit. Jon's mates from Hitchin asked to be made aware if this was going to happen so I'm letting his best mate know - I think they want to come up and be a part of it. Would be great if a few of them can make it up. I'm sure we'll show them a good time.

Aye but that's often related to someone in the event. A bit political and scathing for something so positive. Maybe I'm being too PC but though it worth considering. I'm running it. So is Jill. So is Joey. I think we all feel very strongly about the little known plight of the lesser spotted Hatem bird and would openly support increased media awareness of this great humanitarian crisis.

Somewhere about 10 miles in. Would give me a nice boost just as I am flagging.

Of course I'm in.

Nice plan BJ. Get on with it then.

Considering some of the reprobates you've put up before it'll be like entertaining royalty.

I'm tempted, but equally I'm still unsure if I can put myself through the horror of watching us live again.

Any chance someone can put me up for the night? Doubt I'll be able to afford the accommodation. Travel option will be the midnight express to reduce expenditure further. All I ask is that if you are thinking of running a doss house for long distance N-Oers, please don't stick me in a room with BJ01. I've heard he does all manner of things to people in the middle of the night.

For the purpose of a five-a-side tournament enclosed pitches are far more suitable. In every other situation regular pitches are better. Is someone gonna get on and organise this?