Stottie

They went up with a negative goal difference and without winning a single game in the playoffs. They drew three times and won the two ties on penalties. That must make them one of the weakest teams ever to be promoted. To still have a strong chance of staying up this late is an achievement, regardless of how it has been attained.

Now that's a foul in the box. Nice one linesman, because the ref didn't give it.

Didn't look a pen to me.

His record with us in the PL, including the relegation season, is now. P41 W12 D12 L17 F47 A52 Pts 48 Pts/Game 1.17 That's about 10th/11th in the league form. Exclude the games this season without Lascelles or last time with Steven Taylor and it'll be more wins than defeats and a positive goal difference, I would guess its at least +10. Over a season, that would get 7/8th in the league. That has been achieved with a demoralized post-McClaren shitshow last time and a minimally upgraded Championship squad this season.

That's probably right. Southampton aren't actually adrift and have a relatively good goal difference, but they've burned through most of their winnable games. They pulled the trigger too late and Hughes is a questionable choice as the saviour. With all the money they've had coming in in recent years on transfers, it is very poor management. Yesterday was only Hughes' first game, but it doesn't look good. Stoke have much more to do. If Butland were on the form he showed two years ago, I wouldn't put a couple of flukey wins past them, but he's not.

Carver shouting at the fans in the ground to shut up. Good to see they're getting the full experience.

Better players raise the game of those around them. Everyone is better on the ball when there is another option. It'll be interesting to see how much difference Slimani makes.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

One last push lads!

Need to change it.

Finishing aside, that was very good. Unlike all the 0-1s we've had this season, we're in almost complete control. Slim might have to come on sooner rather than later though.

Deary me, another miss. Stay patient, don't get drawn into their little windups, and we'll win this.

So unlucky there. What a free kick.

We're controlling the ball, and having the little nibbles at getting in. Shelvey unlucky!

Ref is a bigger joke than Benteke!

They've only scored in four away games, but their record in them is won three, drawn one! They haven't wasted a single away goal in games they've lost, all of which have been at least 2-0. As a comparison, we've scored in ten away games, but have only won the same number, three. It's tempting to think they've got some voodoo thing going, but a quick look shows that their away wins were against Palace under de Boer season opener, Watford in free fall before Silva got the sack, and West Brom under Pards. It's been a long break and we might come out rusty, but we should still put up much more of a fight than the three teams they've managed to beat.

Get Well Butch! I wrote a little project about him at school when I was twelve. I remember writing about the goal he scored against Belgium and doing one them crap portraits you do as a kid. He didn't actually score many and was known more for just knocking it square. In those days, defensive midfielders and recycling the ball weren't exactly appreciated. That might have been why he went to Serie A. Anyroad, a real enthusiast about the game and on all accounts a gentleman. Hope he pulls through.

Just out of interest, have any Rafa "rejects" from his time in other jobs gone on to big success at other clubs? He takes a lot of flak for Xabi Alonso obviously, but he wasn't really a reject and there were other circumstances.

Its from the video Lingard live streamed from his phone as the Man U team bus was being attacked by West Ham fans. The bus was looks like it was bulletproof, so Lingard started treating the whole thing like a joke. At one point on the video, he shouts "Squad" to get the other players' attention.

Martins vs. Spurs was the one with the crazy reading on the speed gun, wasn't it. It looked completely unstoppable. He hit it on the run as well. Mine would be HBA vs. Everton. A lot of watching football (us) is about hope, and for him to do that in his first game after the drawn-out saga in getting him was epic.

The goal against them with their keeper stranded after going up the pitch was probably my favourite last season. Huddersfield strike me as an ultimately poor team but with the luck/knack of scoring the few goals they do at optimal times to put points on the board. This luck/knack/voodoo thing goes back to the Championship where they got promoted with a minus goal difference and without winning a single game in the playoffs. So I don't know how good Wagner is, regularly conceding two or more as they have this season is Pardew/Carver territory, but he's certainly got them a lot of points for the resources available. It would be poetic justice if they stayed up and West Ham and their free stadium went down. We seem to have seen off the can't-win-at-home albatross, but we are surely not as good as Southampton made us look. If Huddersfield are on one of their voodoo days, all bets may be off, but if they are not we should have enough to beat them.

Oh and Pardew is a cunt, and that 365 stat about scoring first in six out of ten games but only getting one win and a draw is shocking even for him.

West Brom are the classic example of a yo-yo club who've often found themselves not quite able to stay in the PL. To their credit, they are yet to fall and keep falling, and have succeeded in the Championship when they've found themselves down there. Obviously this is exactly what we too have become under Ashley. That's why he should get pelters in the national press. We were an established PL club before he arrived. It is true that we differ to West Brom in being a fallen giant, but so are Leeds and Villa. Ashley's mismanagement means that this matters less than it should, because the large crowds we get are offset by our poor commercial revenue. Ashley has lessened the club not just in its league position.

Maybe he deserves a call up into the big squad, just for the change to train with them. His value is as a passer, and its hard to know how useful he'd be without seeing if he could pick out Sterling, Rashford, Alli etc. It goes without saying that we do not have players who make the same frequency of the same quality of runs.

I think we are safe and am shifting my pessimism over what happens in the summer. Stay up and there are still issues galore. I've made a point watching of a lot of our games live this season through dread of disaster, so it'll be nice to relax and miss the odd one or two of the ones left.