On Arsenal Mania🤷♂️
A little light hearted fantasy...or maybe not...
Dear Stan
Following on from some of our discussions over the last two years about the Super-League (obviously we won’t call it that again), we here at City Group, along with our friends up at Newcastle and Qatari colleagues in Paris have decided to finally bite the bullet and start a break-away organisation, and we’re going global!
As previously discussed, we don’t think it reasonable to expect any business, just like yours, that has invested millions in its club, to have to share profits with other less well managed clubs and with lower-level leagues. I can think of no other business where you must share profit with smaller competitors, and you cannot invest what you want to invest in your own business. Madness if you ask me. Have these people ever run a business?
Anyway, we’d like you to join our merry band of like-minded owners. We’ve already quietly signed-up Barcelona, Real Madrid, Atletico, Bayern, Man Utd (the Glazer boys didn’t sell-up cos they knew this was coming), Juventus obviously, both the Milan clubs too. David Beckham has also thrown his hat in the ring and a few of the other big MSL guys. Some of the Brazilian teams are trying to get a foot in too. We’re confident of getting the top 20 clubs in the world. In fact, interest has been so high that we’re now thinking of limiting numbers. That said, Sp**s have applied, but we’re going to have to take a vote on that one. You know my thoughts on that weasel Levy. Maybe Sp**s will now win something if everyone else leaves
So, being a businessman, you’ll want to know the benefits if you join. Well, we will all collectively own the broadcast rights to the matches. But you only get paid the income from viewers of your Team. None of this old-hat satellite crap. We’re talking global pay-per-view internet streaming here. Our research predicts Arsenal could bring in 10 million viewers a game globally - minimum. At $5 clear a pop that’s $50m a game straight to you for each of 19 home games. Add in a couple of new cup competitions we’re planning and you’re looking at a £1bn+ a year to you. Obviously, the more successful you are, the more viewers you will attract. So, there’s an incentive to keep investing and improving your team. Also, there’s no relegation, so no risk! What a business model!!
Obvs there will be some shared infrastructure running costs. However, as you know, Little Jeff over at Amazon has been running a PAYG football streaming platform via Prime for a couple of years now. He’s been on board with us from day one and has been doing this to prepare for our launch. It’s 5% of all fees to him, which, whilst expensive, means we have a tested robust platform from day one.
You can still negotiate naming rights and other sponsorship deals yourself and you get to keep it all! All gate fees are yours, but we suggest you reduce prices considerably to keep the fans happy and so that you have a full stadium on match days. People like a day out, and you’ll be more than compensated via the streaming fees.
Let me also address the two elephants in the room. Firstly, each club will be allowed to invest as much or as little as they want in their clubs. At the end of the day each Team can only have a squad of 25. This also makes it easier to be transparent and nobody can be accused of cheating. Literally a level playing field, AND you can run your business how you see fit.
It will of course likely be the end of the Premier League, but as you know, deregulation is the way to free up businesses to grow. Dinosaurs always end up extinct. Also, people accused us of cheating through investing in our business. I’ll say that again, cheating by investing in OUR BUSINESS FFS. However, they were ok with Sepp and Platini helping themselves.
Secondly, I know the fans were up in arms when Juventus mucked up the previous launch, but true Arsenal Fans won’t stop watching Arsenal, and they will get a bigger buzz watching you play Real Madrid than Luton Town. There may be some noise at first, but it will soon die down once the first season starts. We just need to land the message a bit better, so we’ve started a sneaky social media campaign this time, and we’re doing some polling to know when the time is right.
Finally, the Gulf state clubs have put together a little incentive fund. Come join our new Global League and there’s a half a billion dollars as a signing on fee for you!
Stan, unfortunately, this is a one-time offer as we’re unlikely to expand beyond 20 teams. Please don’t miss the boat.
You know it makes sense.
Let’s catch-up at the Euros. Bring Josh, but keep it quiet for now.
All the Best to the family.
Khaldhoon
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