Alberts Mustache

Managers that are experienced in relegation battles are usually not very good managers

Aye, 7th place with Everton is much more impressive than trophies in Spain, Italy, England, Europa League and Champions League.

What is the point of keeping McClaren hanging around? How is he or the players supposed to be motivated after this? "Allright lads, I know some of you got exicted by the Benitez-talk but guess what - I'm still here! We continue with the same setup as the B'mouth game. Come on now!"

So, he hasn't spoken to McClaren and he hasn't spoken to Benitez. What does this clown do all day?

If this falls through now, I'm gonna have to go for a long walk.

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO QUIET

No more updates? Is this just gonna fade out now? Ashley back in town and shut down the deal when he found out what was about to happen?

I'm picking up smoking again. Can't handle this

I'm scared.

Marca too http://www.marca.com/futbol/premier-league/2016/03/10/56e14ebb268e3e120a8b45df.html

Oh dear, oh dear. I've actually got my hopes up now and were just daydreaming about Rafa bringing in a whole new back line and proper DM's in the summer. #snapoutofit

That's it. The man is mental.

The higher the hopes, the more epic the disappointment. And knowing this club I keep my hopes at a minimum. Still expecting Alan Curbishley. No jinxing from me.

They'd still have to have the press conference a day or so later anyway as its a requirement they're contracted to. So doesn't help them as far as not wanting to discuss why they kept McClaren on. Only reason to cancel it is if they need to delay discussing the managers position for a day or two for some reason. Probably planning a fake bomb threat for the weekend aws

If the decision is to stick by McClaren I would also cancel the press conference so I didn't have to explain it

Suuuure, let's throw some more disappointment on the fire!

I can see Charnley walking around in a circle in his office. "I can't just call Benitez, can I? What if he says no?! No, this is stupid, I don't even have his number. Shut up, STEVE, I'm trying to think! Better sleep on it"

And our first summer signing would be Niko Kranjcar

He could always resign. "Good ol' Gil never gives up. It'll be better tomorrow - has to be! Heh.."

I actually feel a bit sorry for Steve. Just put him out of his misery and let Cathro take the Leicester game

All these stories today that "Rafa would be interested" - surely click bait?

Have Nigel Pearson come in and do the same thing he did with Leicester last year. Motivational speaks, orgy scandals, drugs... whatever it takes.

By far our best option. Both on paper and judged by tonights performance

I'm looking forward to not going through evenings like this again. Either one or the other way

Have you not been in here pre-game before? Some days are more hilarious than others.