Nattfare

People always comment on how short you are and you're still 13 cm taller than me!

WIFE No2 looks a bit like a monster.

This cunt been given up on yet?

Papiss Cissé - dat smile is pure captain material on its own.

It's not September yet. Plenty of time to get rid of decent players while sticking with the shite.

Was it the season after then that he came on from the bench a lot? Think I'm confusing them here.

probably 99% of that is wrong Think I worded it wrongly perhaps. The season after the one we came fifth I mean. He was subbed a lot during that one if I remember correctly.

Ben Arfa was kept on the bench for most of the season after we ended 5th. Pardew only threw him in around the 70th minute when we were 2 or 3 - 0 down. When Ben Arfa couldn't turn things around on his own he had to carry most of the blame after the match. Disgraceful treatment.

He absolutely is as horrific as people make out. Bullshit.

Seriously, how can such an illiterate buffoon have a job as a journalist?

I'm desperately trying to figure out what the hell he's trying to say here.

Hang on a second, we're signing someone? http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LDnMdeHwgis/UZPdJmqwSoI/AAAAAAAAL00/MCWbN1F0Un8/s1600/ralphie-may.gif

Or what Mole said, he's a fitness coach.

He blows coloured bubbles during training to distract Steven Taylor with so that he stays calm.

Wouldn't esnt to rely on Haidara too much as he will likely get injured. The guy must be carrying a boot magnet or something the way everyone keeps kicking him down.

And he tries hard.

Anyone remember how Samuel Eto'o shrugged him off the ball like he wasn't even there? Eto'o is 34 while Colback is ten years younger, it was embarrassing to see.

He usually has the ball more than anyone else in the midfield. Which is why he has a higher success rate on passes. Most of them are as you say short sideway passes. But when he tries something slightly more difficult it is nine times out of ten a wayward pass. He still mess up the simple ones quite often too.

Tioté is very good at breaking up play, for both sides unfortunately. His wayward passes and constant spinning always puts our team in jeopardy. To me he seems to be the most useful when he runs around all the midfield to harass the other players while someone is covering for him further behind. When he and Colback both play they both end up chasing the ball (imaginary or otherwise) and no one covering the gap behind them. Didn't go that well when Tioté and Abeid played either. Only Abeid was in a more advanced role while Tioté was supposed to hold. We conceded at least one goal because Cheick wasn't anywhere near where he was supposed to be at the time, which was to defend the gap between the back line and the midfield. We really need to use someone better than him now.

http://media.giphy.com/media/pcfdfm6hjTvji/giphy.gif

"We thought we had him over the line before the medical and we didn't suspect anything was wrong when he requested the medical to be in Liverpool. We also thought it would be enough to tempt him with Super Mario Bros on NES over Batman: Arkham Knight on PS4 as Everton did. But we really tried, honest."

Hard to say when we don't have a clue how McClaren wants to play. Could be different to what Pardew and Carver did for all we know. At least we know he would have slotted in as left back then.

http://i.imgur.com/KVq9TPv.png

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000087.htm A little on collapsed lungs.