number37

It's as if he treats cup matches like he's doing a round on Taskmaster after having watched the first series to get to grips with how it works. I can't believe how much harmony and unity he's brought to the whole squad. Whether you're playing every week or hardly playing at all, every player is primed and ready to play their part when called upon without bearing a grudge or showing an ego. They have all bought into wanting to drive the club forwards and upwards. It's very healthy environment of competition and encouragement. I didn't even know it was possible to purposefully use players who started for us in the Championship, to get the absolute best out of them and to go to Old Trafford and comfortably win 3-0. We were in the Championship in 2017 .

The brains trust on Sky Sports News focussing on their united rather than how mint our United were.

There can't be many better feelings in football than smashing these repugnant, self-centred, corporate cockney wankers on their own patch with a side that's halfway between a scratch side and your reserves. At this rate I can maybe start to consider letting the Charity Shield go.

He could start a folk-based Bette Midler tribute band - Bet Fiddler

There'll be no more displays if his lot are managing the donations.

As adaptable as an army knife, as majestic as the Matterhorn, as fabulous as fondue and as tasty as a Toblerone.

Hopefully it's a full day because he's in enough trouble already if he's looking to get away at ten to one.

Yeah, the absolute correct written form is St. James's Park but St. James' Park is acceptable and you'd pronounce the 's anyway whether it's written or not. It's about possession. Exeter City's ground is just named after St. James (with no possession) so for them it's St. James Park. It's just a little confusing because James has an s on the end. If a stadium was named after a St. John then it'd be St. John Stadium or belonging to him would be St. John's Stadium. Belonging to many St. Johns would be St. Johns's Stadium (or St. Johns' Stadium but pronounced the same). Named after many St Johns would be your simple St. Johns Stadium. Of course there's no such thing in the entire written English language as a plural apostrophe despite what's often written and doesn't annoy me at all. Not even one bit. I don't even know why you mentioned it. Now if you don't mind I'd better deal with all these beautiful women who've suddenly appeared out of nowhere at my door. I was all set for a much quieter Sunday evening.

I genuinely didn't know that! I'm sure Tyneside Life will take these critiques with dignity and grace.

It would be mint if it turns out the tennis courts are listed too because they were the first of their kind in Britain or something. Also, might just be a technicality, and I'm not one to piss on anyone's parade but even from a very quick glance I get the impression that there's nowhere near enough room to just casually slide Leazes Terrace back a wee bit.

When I was looking for pictures of a Rolfaroo, one of the images linked on Google was for an eBay auction selling an original. This morning I got an email from eBay saying the seller is now accepting offers as well as a load of links to other similar original pieces of Rolf Harris artwork that I may be interested in.

Aye, must be something in the AI that just renders those of a certain character down to a similar image.

I've tried to get a good Pardaroo on the go but this is the best I can do. At least my search history and autocomplete is now broken forever

At least it confirms the calibre of person who uses the nonsensical phrase "baller".

If staying at St. James' stops Ed Sheeran, the Buffalo Bills or Spandex Steve from darkening our doorstep then I'm all for it. Extend Leazes Terrace.

Image of the Week

Louis XIV, Louis Pasteur, Gérard Depardieu, Gustave Eiffel, Charles de Gaulle, Pepé Le Pew, René Descartes, René Artois. Emmanuel Macron, can you hear me? Emmanuel Macron... your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!

I've watched my fair share of adult entertainment but that's the filthiest thing I've ever seen.

Was it Bowen he took out for no reason at all the season before last when it went out for a throw?

Well I'm off out for a few beers because we've just kept a clean sheet at the San Siro in the Champions League. I hope others can do the same wherever you are.

It's only seven time European champions AC Milan in the San Siro and it's 0-0 at half time. We're alright, man.

Just in Jerusalem at the minute trying to get us some extra outside assistance. Non-Muslims aren't allowed to take religious texts to Temple Mount so the roof of my hotel is the best I can do. Hopefully we can get a positive result tomorrow, Inshallah.

The last few results haven't been easy for most of us but I think the state of the Dan Ashworth thread has tipped me over the edge so please allow me to whinge a wee bit here and hopefully I can move on. Football nomenclature. I feel so lost these days. I like to think I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, been a football fan for most of my almost 40 years and I'm a native English speaker (well, I'm from Ashington) but I just feel like the last few years has seen an explosion of new, made up and repurposed language that's taken what should be one of the easiest sports to watch and made it so much more difficult to enjoy. Guile. Pivot. Double pivot. False nine. 6. 8. Torso. Low block. High press. Transition. xA. xG. xXL. Counter rabbit experience. Then there's that chucking paint on a spider web graph thing, what even is that? It's nice to have a variety of different people engaged in football and I'm very certain I'll never be their target audience or even show them the smallest semblance of respect but watching Moneyball, The Big Short and then shoving a thesaurus up your arse before getting yourself a YouTube channel offers very little, in my opinion. The beauty of football, its universal appeal, is that it's easy and simple to watch and understand. It's not cricket (I love cricket) in that it can seem overflowing with information that becomes a barrier to the unitiated but football looks to have taken the lack of excessive analysis as an opportunity to whip up these barriers and create a niche to make people sound a lot more elitist and intelligent than they actually are. (Probably like I'm doing here...) I feel bad for even thinking this but in some ways I hope we don't go to the San Siro in a couple of weeks (which feels wild to even say!) and win 2-0 because inevitably there'll be some statshagger saying how it was AC Milan that actually won because if you take away Newcastle's goals then Milan's expected triple pivot was 42.8° over the fulcrum, which largely went unnoticed by United's low press. Maybe it's why I don't participate much in match threads because I just don't think watching a game is even enough these days. All a troglodyte like me can ever comprehend is Schär smashing one in from 30 yards (until some nerd tells me that was only possible because Neptune's atmospheric pressure was deceptively uneven). I'll also like to refer myself to the football pet hates thread. Football should move on but @number37 won't allow it.

Just rinsing Sunderland on international television.