number37

Away goals are an anachronistic quirk, harking back to the bygone days when you're drawn away against Dynamo Radgepackets deep behind the iron curtain. You're staying in a run-down Soviet youth hostel where some rooms might have curtains, some might have hot water, others have cold but never both, you're shitting through the eye of a needle, the beds are rock hard, if you've got bedding it's not been cleansed in however long and if you're allowed to train on or at least look at the farmer's field of a pitch you'll be playing on, it'll be under the watchful gaze of a couple of dozen conscripted red army soldiers and plain clothed agents monitoring your every move. So, yeah, your away goal or two might not endear you to the local Party committee members but having them worth that little bit more must surely make your ordeal worthwhile. Keep away goals. Travel is infinitely better these days (covid aside), the iron curtain has come down so we're all friends now, facilities are beyond comparison (you even need to have UEFA approved stadia), players probably spend longer playing the match than they do in the foreign city and so away matches in Europe have become increasingly mundane, especially with the multi-national and multi-cultural composition of squads these days so it's not like the olden days when your entire Celtic side is from Glasgow and they may never have ventured outside the UK, certainly not for football. There are no real cultural shocks or unknowns, not at the UEFA competition level or in the brief exposure to the local area the players would ever be exposed to. Logistically, I doubt Chelsea going to Bayern Munich is all that more different to Chelsea going to Manchester City - it's flights and hotels but just a longer flight. So away goals aren't the sweetener they used to be but so what? I totally agree with a lot of what has been said throughout this topic about why they should be abolished and from a purely logical point of view, my head would say get rid. I know they change matches and skew things way out of proportion, so you can score the same amount of goals as your opponent over two legs but still lose? It's crazy and doesn't make sense, of course it doesn't, try explaining that to someone who doesn't understand football. We need to think with our hearts. It's for that reason why I feel they should and must be retained. It's because they're an historical quirk. It's because they don't make sense. Like I say, I get why people want rid and it's not like I'm offering a concise and logical argument for their retention but football is so, so much more than logic and reason. The governing bodies have done absolutely everything they can to sanitise, rationalise or ruin the sport we love over the years - whether it's VAR, Champions League formats, Qatar world cup, handball rule, offside rule or who knows what else. Football doesn't need to be perfect, we love it because it's not. Football needs passionate debate, it needs odd things. I feel away goals is one of the few remaining 'human' elements of the game. Just like this very topic has proven, we get rid of away goals (despite what is logical or not) and what more do we have to talk about? We should just let the pools panel handle the scores instead to save the players from having to turn up to the games in the first place. Saves the environment too. Keep away goals for no other reason than "just because".

Havertz not giving a fuck in his interview!

Wor Steve could have at least saved The Times a few quid if they were paying by the word. "Steve, can you give us your tactical analysis based on the Champions League finals you've managed in?" "No." "Well how about the times you've remained calm, analysed the opposition and made a positive tactical and/or positional change either during the match or at half time to counter or neutralise the threat of an opposition player?" "Eh?" "Steve, how are you able to read the game and make effective changes?" "I've probably written more books than I've read." Five million pounds well spent.

We won't even do Berwick Rangers v Southampton.

One of the things I like about rugby in New Zealand is they have the Ranfurly Shield, which is a similar concept, been going for over one hundred years. Every home league match is a mandatory title defence but the title holders can voluntarily defend the title in an away game if they want. Then during the pre-season it's customary for the title holders to play against a couple of teams from the lower divisions to give them the chance to win the shield. It seems more prestigious than the actual league.

Do the players have to give interviews after the match? I always feel annoyed on their behalf when you see them dragged away from celebrating winning a title with their mates by a producer wanting an interview. The reason I ask is it made me smile to see Kevin de Bruyne give a very visible and audible "oh, for fuck sake" when he was dragged away to be asked/told that he'd won the league and what it felt like. I'm sure he'd give a better response if he was actually allowed to enjoy it for five minutes. They should ban the TV people from being on the pitch during a trophy presentation, let the players celebrate for a good long while before insulting their intelligence with whatever inane drivel is said at them in the name of cutting edge sporting journalism.

Commentator on the Leicester v Tottenham game just said there are far too many Johnsons on show after a dodgy league table graphic. Made me smile at least.

I was a very young looking 16 year old at that game and I remember walking down Wembley way after the match and a couple of our (slightly drunk) fans warning me about Graeme Rix, didn't really understand it at the time. Being dead in line with Rob Lee's header from Shearer's cross was mint though but... Poyet, man.

Proudly wore this down to Selhurst Park for the Crystal Palace game in August 2009. #hindsight

Or away to a German third division team.

I'm sure when we were in the Championship, England's second division, Rafa was still being invited to that Elite Manager conference thing that UEFA have and so he'd just pop over and rub shoulders with Guardiola and Allegri or whoever like it's business as usual. Probably barely even mentioned it too like the class man he is. This guy goes on some radio show with Simon Jordan and Jim White after just about surviving relegation, acting like he's the second coming of Sir Alex Ferguson and he's loving it.

One night I was on call but in the Hotspur so I had to dial into work on my laptop and for such a busy pub I had no difficulty clearing some room at a table.

The Avengers use Oracle cloud for all their stuff, assuming that's all related to S.H.I.E.L.D. but they're not real, unfortunately. A few years ago, I did some training at Oracle HQ down in Reading and it was at the height of the Marvel films and so each printed edition of Oracle magazine they had scattered around the place had many versions with a different Avenger on the cover. For some reason it was very difficult to grab a copy of the one with Scarlett Johansson on the cover, could get any amount of the others but not her and I really tried. In the end I just had to print out a PDF version like a savage. (Sorry to diverge but I feel this topic has had worse divergences).

I'd make sure league fixtures over the Christmas and new year period are kept as local as possible to help with fans (and players/staff too) from having to travel too far. I think this is already done in the National League. Speaking of which, I'd re-regionalise League Two into north and south like they had many years ago. I'd do the same for the National League (it would have to be renamed, of course) or maybe merge/fold it into an expanded Football League structure so below the Premier League you'd have something like: Championship, League One, League Two North/League Two South and then Conference North and Conference South. After watching bits and pieces of the FA Vase final, I thought it would be great if there was an FA County Cup Winners' Cup. So it would be for the winners of each county cup (like the Northumberland Senior Cup, etc) with the final at Wembley live on BBC or BT or wherever.

That was so good! It's night and day compared with how Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher articulate. I do appreciate the BBC may have to work under some different constraints in terms of what they're allowed to say (they're unable to take part in this weekend's social media boycott, for example) but they're wasting license payer's money. Jenas can spend half an hour on the One Show giving some bland opinion on the variety of lilly used in some hanging basket display in rural Shropshire but says nothing on how some owners want to destroy British and European football.

Yeah, he was very clear and concise with what he said. I thought it also highlighted the futility and nothingness of Jenas and Shearer there too in terms of them offering anything meaningful towards the wider discussion of football club ownership. Jenas simply refusing to give an answer or opinion when asked because he's not a Manchester United fan. Then they're rather cheaply throwing the old net spend list at Andy Mitten (the Man Utd journalist) in order to somehow justify that the Glaziers are good owners just because they spend money but he rightly says the club spend more on that servicing debt whereas they were debt free previously. I liked how he mentioned that these owners are all technically "fit and proper".

We should ask whether any of them can play centre midfield.

Being a reporter is probably just something he does, ya knaa, his real passion is grave digging.

If Rafa lists the Championship as a title then it's a title.

I'm so pleased you guys are mentioning issues with the sound, I thought I was losing my mind a little there. I'm watching BT Sport through Virgin Media and it's unsettling.

For the first couple of years of it at least we could say we've won the Texaco Cup more times than all the Super League teams combined. Without checking, just assume they never won it back in the day.

Ah, I'm foolishly over-eager when it comes to both the Welsh border facts! I do love a good enclave/exclave situation though, I went to Baarle-Hertog/Baarle-Nassau last year and it just blew my mind.

Isn't it a similar/opposite situation for Chester where the border cuts through the Deva Stadium, so the pitch is on one side and the offices are on the other?

Ah, 2020.