Miggys First Goal

Fuckin’ yes you sexy bastard!

That’s gotta be AI. Look at the faces of the audience.

Love King Kev. Fuck cancer.

We’re letting the £70m we got for Gordon accrue interest.

That fucking blue. That fucking Noon. Those fucking barcode stripes. Fuck off Adidas.

Lifetime contract. Now.

Eh?

He’s not even man enough to leave his comments on. Go and stick a black dildo up your arse. Cunt.

King Kev looking great!

Okay, let’s get this lad in and kick off our summer buying.

From three years old

Wilson clocked off for the weekend at 17:02. No more business this weekend.

Fucker HAS been learning the lingo.

I don’t think this is happening tonight.

Barcelona realised they don’t actually have any money.

I blame Wilson for this.

This cunt fucked up the Gordon deal?

Imminently. Six hours ago.

No, Atlético de Madrid would never do something like that. However, in recent months, we’ve been suffering a smear campaign against one of our players. Leaked information with ulterior motives, 'fake news,' constant disrespect, the culé version of the propaganda machine inventing little stories, calls before direct matchups... But of course, it wouldn’t occur to us either to have the referees’ vice president on our payroll or to resort to political favors to register players. RESPECT and VALUES.

This is Trump levels of lateness.

If you’re a journalist who has been there since midday, you’re pissed off at this point.

This is ridiculous like.

Howaaaaaaaaaay man.