Moose

This window should grant him immunity for the whole season. An extra 8 CL games, a stronger overall PL with all cartel teams addressing their weak spots and we're going into the season with a wafer thin squad and without Isak, or at best, an Isak whose downed tools counting down the days until he can join Liverpool. The club has handed Eddie Howe a lump of coal and toothpick and asked him to carve a statue with it

I forgot to ask, is Jacobs reliable? Is he the one whose usually on the money with the London teams but clueless about anything else? And yes, I know he's a gimp before you say it, but that wasn't my question.

At least being ripped off by the cartel is slightly less humiliating than having them poach players from under our noses.

Probably Tottenham, Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City, Liverpool and Man Utd once we've made an offer for him.

In fact, scratch that. The only signings that would excite me would be a CEO, Director of Football, Head of Recruitment and an army of spreadsheet shagging scouts.

I'd be more excited if we brought in some relatively unknown talent from the continent for 20m who at least has some promise rather than spending big money on a cartel cast off or going for another high profile, in demand player only to get wee guy'd by the cartel with Romano rubbing our noses in it and BBC publishing articles about how the North East is shit and no one wants to live here. Let's pad the squad out with some mad foreign punts.

The amount of high profile victims who get snared by Francis Chipp is impressive. His best work was the Longstaff brothers going back packing.

This. After this window there can longer be any doubt which are the clubs that are making Romano and Ornstein very wealthy men. The best thing you can do for yourself is shut out all their noise, come off social media, don't listen to any of those gibbons on TalkShite, Sky Sports News etc and for goodness sake, absolutely don't watch any clickbait/ragebait nonces on youtube. Newcastle Online on the other hand? Great place to vent your frustrations with a great set of lads!

Take notes Pol Pot! That how you do a Dictatorship, you fool!

It sounded much funnier in my head

When you say Malick Thiaw quickly it sounds like Magikarp. Makes you think........

I was hoping that 'Czecoslovakenia' was a big enough hint that I was cracking a hilarious joke

They're all Soviet countries anyway

Should I be alarmed that the farfalle fiddler hasn't tweeted that a cartel club 'is preparing a bid? Chelsea collect CBs like they're Pokemon cards, surely it's their turn again to gazump us.

Well, that explains why he had his hood up

Is this the Liverpool equivalent of David Ornstein running with a Burnsie tweet?

Plot twist: He got on the wrong bus and ended up crossing the Korean border illegally.

Dubravka gone and Sesko turned us down. A dark day for all Newcastle fans based in Czechoslovakenia.

McGinn is better than Longstaff and Willock plus he'll likely end up as one of the leaders in the dressing room. We're seemingly incapable of buying players to raise our ceiling, so we may as well raise the floor, even marginally. This rumour would've gone down so much better if we got the 3/4 bits of quality in first, instead, it feels like yet another gut punch. It feels like a long time ago I was wondering how we were gonna fit Ekitike and Isak in the same team

Is this the first transfer in history where the selling club has accepted a lower bid and the player lower wages to join a club that finished 10 places below the other? Not to mention that our city has nicer bridges than theirs. Either that or it's completely made up bullshit

From what I've seen (very little) Jackson seems to be a brain dead goon. Can anybody convince me that there's something to work with here? If so, why would Chelsea be binning him off for Delap and Pedro who on paper aren't exactly head and shoulders above him!