Moose

I've never heard of this journalist before but I've decided that I hate him with every fibre of my being.

I'm sure someone called him the Fiat Felcher once, that was a belter

Wait. Are you telling me that there are journalists out there who don't just make shit up?!

Ach well, I've heard Strasbourg is lovely this time of year, enjoy it Zadok

Absolutely fine with this, one less place in the squad to worry about and it also keeps our handsome average up

Still nowt? Not even a decent rumour? I knew this cunt was a spoofer. Get him to fuck.

Disgusting. He seemed like quite a likeable guy but he'll turn into a horrid prick now.

Just seen that rats goal, it was a beauty. Fucks sake. Bring back Slot!

I'm sure Andreas Andersson was #40, not sure if it was across multiple seasons mind. I remember reading down the squad list on the back of the programme and thinking 'he must be bad if his number is as big as that'. I was half right.

I loved our goal against Benfica when Wolte, Barnes and Gordon played circles around them. It was one of the few times this season I remember us actually playing the beautiful game. It was extra special as I live in Lisbon and the next day in work loads Benfica fans were complimenting me on our liquid football and they spoke very highly of Pope cause of his assist too. I didn't correct them and tell them that Pope was shit and we'd been dogmeat all season, it was just nice to get compliments from other fans again

Fucking gut wrenching stuff cancer is such an evil cunt. Bless KK, what a hero, the reception he'll get at SJP will be biblical

I wish I could be a contrarian hipster and choose something other than Osula vs Man Utd but howay man!

He's a fraud, I can't believe how much people talk him up. He dines out on his time with Spurs yet that was about 10 years ago and they ended up finishing 3rd the season Leicester won the league which was the best chance they'll ever get to win it. He also failed to win the league with PSG which should be impossible

Honestly man, I'm so sick of seeing our squad being decimated. I look forward to Hopkinson trying to put a positive spin on this one!

He must be loving how shit we've been this season, his Eddie Howe rants are probably the only thing that gets the narcissistic gimp any attention these days. By the way, has he ever explained or does anyone know why he calls himself the True Geordie? It seems the sort of name that only a try-hard plastic Geordie would give themself.

It's been a while since the Daily Mail have done a hit piece on Sterling, I bet they're buzzing

Happy with that, good money, quick sale, sold abroad and it was over so swiftly that the tortellini toucher barely got erect for it. It's a strange feeling, I think we've just sold our best attacking player, yet I don't feel like we've regressed much for it, I suppose it means I don't think it'll take much to replace him. It's easy to say that now I suppose, it's a different animal when I see that we used the money to buy Dewsbury-Hall and Alex Iwobi

They were once sponsored by Doritos and one of their pre-match fireworks once shot someone in the stadium before a match against us. For those 2 things, they're firmly in the 'ach, they're harmless' category.

He goes with my wishes. I wish that he does shite and the Barca fans hate him.

It must be easy to be a Portuguese parent when it comes to naming your kid. There seems to only be about 20 different forenames to choose from to go with the 10 standard Portuguese surnames. Every combination makes you sounds like a Wolves player

Aside from that, we're good to go!

Happy enough with that fee, now get him to fuck.

He's a petulant, inconsistent shitebag with the heart of a mouse, I'm astonished that two of the biggest clubs in world football are even bothering with this pseudo-intellectual radgie after he brazenly downed tools. That said, he'll do fine in Bundesliga/La Liga, outside of the very top teams in those leagues, it's a sea of detritus and he can pad his stats playing against mickey mouse outfits like TSV Frankenstein .01 or whoever while Olise and Diaz save themselves for the real games

I'm already utterly bored of this saga. Bayern and Barca, bidding starts at 75m, place your best offers in an envelope and the higest bidder wins, enough beating around the bush!

If Bruno goes to Chelsea, I'll start following croquet