MagPar

The Sun are saying Liverpool will now offer 130. Its 20 short but I bet it will be accepted. This effectively end up being 100 because other clubs will significantly add ££££ onto any striker we bid for. Cheers Alex I$ak

They'll be discussing which lie sounds best.

In all fairness, Wissa has started training again.

Garnacho turns down a move to Bayern. What the hell does this kid want? Is he waiting on Barcelona or something?

Maeda from Celtic would be a better option.

Women don't like long boabies, it hurts them, a nice bit of girth though and they'll love you forever.

Don't worry, here comes Fat Gemima and Lucy Longnose to save the day.

Jamie O'Hara can take his Isak sympathy and fuck off. Twat. We're holding the player to ransom apparently for wanting 150 million. Tell him Ruby. Watch right to the end for the parrot talking to O'Hara. Ps when my depression is at its darkest, I watch this. It never fails to cheer me up.

I see Wissa is back in training today. He's put his big boy pants on hooray. Take note Mr Isak with your Thomas Tank jim jams.

It might just be a stubbed toe.

They've already signed Wilson, their fans would have a fit if they signed another pensioner. Vardy is starting to look like a viable option. I went off the idea when I found out his age (I thought he was 33/34) but even at 45 or whatever he is, he can come off the bench for half an hour and occasionally start. We need 2 strikers, they have to come from somewhere. Vardy, one season, 8-12 goals. Why the hell not.

I'm amazed more players don't fall out with Simeone,hes a right crabbit cunt.

Wilson didn't manage a single goal last season. The same can't be said for Vardy. I'm just saying..

I'd take him in a heartbeat as a Wilson replacement, I watch a lot of German footie and he scores some crackers. Then Wissa could be the Isak replacement. I can't see it though.

If he does come back and play for us, I dont think its right to be booing and chanting abuse. It's going to be hard enough for him to change his mind and even though we all cant stand him, we need to get behind him for the good of the team.

Isn't he to busy filming the next Star Wars movie?

Makes me think of the old Andy Goram chants. "There's only 2 Andy Gorams ,2 Andy Gorams" I think he had mild schizophrenia. Not funny.

There certainly aren't any burglars or criminals in Gimmeyerpursepool.

Good luck with that amazing signing.

I would suggest that he buys some benzos to calm his nerves but the poor soul can't afford them.

But why the hell not? Let's just focus everything on a player who isn't even available yet as his club need a replacement. Genius.

Ok, one striker at a time then.

I can remember doing something similar in my teens, I reckon he's discovered non stop masterbation. The fucker is just pulling the head off it non stop. Dirty bastard.

Both could have been great but we only seem capable of looking at one player at a time. Its a bit embarrassing.