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HULL TO BUY OWEN FOR SPARES     

 

Hull City are to buy Michael Owen with a view to breaking the player down for parts.

 

The England striker is set to leave Newcastle after the club decided its Premiership fight back stood a greater chance of success with younger, more promising players battling for a place on the treatment table.

 

Hull coach Phil Brown said: "He's got a great footballing brain, a lovely right foot and has massive heart. All great assets in the bodies of players who aren't made of dry twigs."

 

Brown said his bid for Owen was prompted after receiving a DVD advertising the sometimes-striker, adding: "It was a showreel of goals mixed with Michael clutching his thigh in agony, although I did notice none of the footage was dated after 2001."

 

Owen's parts have been earmarked, with Nick Barmby set for a major overhaul. Brown said: "Nick's been in decline for years but he'll be back to his best after we've fitted him Michael Owen's hips and eyelids."

 

He added: "I just hope Parcelforce don't jiggle him about too much in transit.  I don't want any toes falling off leading to a big argument with Newcastle about whether the toes had already fallen off before they posted him."

 

On completion of the limb and organ harvesting, Owen will be refitted with reconditioned player parts from the Hull squad. A club spokesman said he would eventually look like a 'clean-cut, twinkle-eyed bag of offal'.

 

Meanwhile Owen's hamstrings will be sold to British Nuclear Fuels who have been searching desperately for a substance with a shorter half-life than enriched Uranium.

 

 

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/hull-to-buy-owen-for-spares-200906221845/

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Don't know why that mackem troll hasn't been banned yet. Moderators?

 

excuse me?

 

I think that is what you call a pre-ban. It is like a pre-date only it is a ban.

 

i've only been banned once and that was for calling someone a cunt.

 

see the house of the banned

 

i've never had a previous log in

 

Shame you bothered coming back after the ban tbh

 

that's bang out of order that mind.

 

I agree, he might be a troll, but there's also the small chance he's not and just has an eccentric personality. In which saying something like that is out of order.

 

Most likely it's a troller though, so meh.

 

i'm not a trawler. i'm not a mackem. i'm not a "wum" and i'm not a "vic".

 

i have not had any previous log ins.

 

i am an honest nufc fan. i have been a season ticket holder for many years and have racked up plenty of miles up and down the country to watch my club. i am not claiming to be a great nufc fan. far from it. there is always someone better who has done more away games.

 

but i have certainly totalled enough games to give an opinion which i deem valid, and others controversial. i'm not bothered what others think of my opinions.

 

this season, as everyone is aware, has been a fucking disaster. people can blame who they want and defend who they want but my overall opinion is thus:

 

nobody is excused from the fucking shambolic season we have had. everyone must take some sort of blame. keegan, ashley, shearer and all the way through to every single spineless fucking player who has participated in the 38 league games this season. in my opinion, they are all fucking cowards. and it fucking pisses me right off.

 

when i go to games and watch players, for example, like owen and martins, who earn around £200k p/w combined, walking about the pitch, hands on hips and giving an uninterested attitude, it boils my fucking piss. if some people are ok with that, fine. i'm fucking pleased for you.

 

but me? like most, i work all day, every day. i've devoted a large amount of my hard earned into nufc and had fuck all in return to shout about, and i will continue to do so for as long as it remains financially possible. again though, i am not trying to sound like i am the best fan around, as there are always fan who have a clocked up more miles and games.

 

but if i pay my way, which i have done for plenty of years now, i expect something in return. relegation is fucking inexcusable.

 

it boils my piss. yes, there's new grounds to attend next year, yes, some people might be optimistic for next season in a different division and barnsley might sell better mince pies than any other ground, but i don't give a fuck.  i'm fucking devastated and highly pissed off. like you all, i want to see them playing in the top division buying the top players.

 

i've read posts on here like similar to, "coloccini is not shit" and "i'd be ecstatic if we signed beckford." the reality is this. players like coloccini, nolan and so forth are fucking garbage. no matter how you dress it up. no matter how coloccini or another fucking foreign cunt played in a different division, he is shit. like every single other player in the other team. there is no player in the team who can put their hand on the heart and say he gave EVERYTHING to the cause this season. can they fuck.

 

i can't be fucked to dig up the post re. a certain poster being "ecstatic" over beckford, but fuck me. i don't care how many goals the cunt scored in a fucking abysmal division, a reality check is required. players like these are shite - in a nutshell. if he wasn't, he'd have been snapped up by now.

 

and while i'm on it; i don't think shearer is the manager to take us forward,either. whilst i appreciate he wants the club to be ran properly from top to bottom, i don't think an inexperienced manager should be taking the reigns of a club that is heading into it's darkest period in years. we need someone with experience and a good head on their shoulders. who? i do not know. it's not my job to pick. however, if or when shearer is appointed, i will give him my support. in my honest opinion, shearer should take up a higher role, and ensure the club is ran professionally from there - similar to (tin hat on) that lanky irish cunt at sunderland.

 

on the other side of the coin, if shearer fails as manager, then the next manager installed at newcastle will not have have the monkey of alan shearer being the next manager on his back.

 

if you think my posts are controversial, deal with it. just like i will deal with whatever you think about my posts and opinions.

 

:clap:

 

Post of the day.

 

30 mins to beat it.

 

I fear for Shearer in this role too, as a manager that is, but unfortunately we need him on side and in the club, and your point about him doing a Niall Quinn really gets me thinking, that would be perfect for us but i doubt he wants that role, he wants hands on and all the glory that will come with it. He was like that as a player and will be like that as a manager whereas Quinn liked to be the support.

 

 

 

 

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Guest toonlass

Don't know why that mackem troll hasn't been banned yet. Moderators?

 

excuse me?

 

I think that is what you call a pre-ban. It is like a pre-date only it is a ban.

 

i've only been banned once and that was for calling someone a cunt.

 

see the house of the banned

 

i've never had a previous log in

 

Shame you bothered coming back after the ban tbh

 

that's bang out of order that mind.

 

I agree, he might be a troll, but there's also the small chance he's not and just has an eccentric personality. In which saying something like that is out of order.

 

Most likely it's a troller though, so meh.

 

i'm not a trawler. i'm not a mackem. i'm not a "wum" and i'm not a "vic".

 

i have not had any previous log ins.

 

i am an honest nufc fan. i have been a season ticket holder for many years and have racked up plenty of miles up and down the country to watch my club. i am not claiming to be a great nufc fan. far from it. there is always someone better who has done more away games.

 

but i have certainly totalled enough games to give an opinion which i deem valid, and others controversial. i'm not bothered what others think of my opinions.

 

this season, as everyone is aware, has been a fucking disaster. people can blame who they want and defend who they want but my overall opinion is thus:

 

nobody is excused from the fucking shambolic season we have had. everyone must take some sort of blame. keegan, ashley, shearer and all the way through to every single spineless fucking player who has participated in the 38 league games this season. in my opinion, they are all fucking cowards. and it fucking pisses me right off.

 

when i go to games and watch players, for example, like owen and martins, who earn around £200k p/w combined, walking about the pitch, hands on hips and giving an uninterested attitude, it boils my fucking piss. if some people are ok with that, fine. i'm fucking pleased for you.

 

but me? like most, i work all day, every day. i've devoted a large amount of my hard earned into nufc and had fuck all in return to shout about, and i will continue to do so for as long as it remains financially possible. again though, i am not trying to sound like i am the best fan around, as there are always fan who have a clocked up more miles and games.

 

but if i pay my way, which i have done for plenty of years now, i expect something in return. relegation is fucking inexcusable.

 

it boils my piss. yes, there's new grounds to attend next year, yes, some people might be optimistic for next season in a different division and barnsley might sell better mince pies than any other ground, but i don't give a fuck.  i'm fucking devastated and highly pissed off. like you all, i want to see them playing in the top division buying the top players.

 

i've read posts on here like similar to, "coloccini is not shit" and "i'd be ecstatic if we signed beckford." the reality is this. players like coloccini, nolan and so forth are fucking garbage. no matter how you dress it up. no matter how coloccini or another fucking foreign cunt played in a different division, he is shit. like every single other player in the other team. there is no player in the team who can put their hand on the heart and say he gave EVERYTHING to the cause this season. can they fuck.

 

i can't be fucked to dig up the post re. a certain poster being "ecstatic" over beckford, but fuck me. i don't care how many goals the cunt scored in a fucking abysmal division, a reality check is required. players like these are shite - in a nutshell. if he wasn't, he'd have been snapped up by now.

 

and while i'm on it; i don't think shearer is the manager to take us forward,either. whilst i appreciate he wants the club to be ran properly from top to bottom, i don't think an inexperienced manager should be taking the reigns of a club that is heading into it's darkest period in years. we need someone with experience and a good head on their shoulders. who? i do not know. it's not my job to pick. however, if or when shearer is appointed, i will give him my support. in my honest opinion, shearer should take up a higher role, and ensure the club is ran professionally from there - similar to (tin hat on) that lanky irish cunt at sunderland.

 

on the other side of the coin, if shearer fails as manager, then the next manager installed at newcastle will not have have the monkey of alan shearer being the next manager on his back.

 

if you think my posts are controversial, deal with it. just like i will deal with whatever you think about my posts and opinions.

 

:clap:

 

Post of the day.

 

30 mins to beat it.

 

I fear for Shearer in this role too, as a manager that is, but unfortunately we need him on side and in the club, and your point about him doing a Niall Quinn really gets me thinking, that would be perfect for us but i doubt he wants that role, he wants hands on and all the glory that will come with it. He was like that as a player and will be like that as a manager whereas Quinn liked to be the support.

 

 

 

 

 

Post of the day?

 

Have you been on the Buckfast?

 

 

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Share on other sites

Don't know why that mackem troll hasn't been banned yet. Moderators?

 

excuse me?

 

I think that is what you call a pre-ban. It is like a pre-date only it is a ban.

 

i've only been banned once and that was for calling someone a cunt.

 

see the house of the banned

 

i've never had a previous log in

 

Shame you bothered coming back after the ban tbh

 

that's bang out of order that mind.

 

I agree, he might be a troll, but there's also the small chance he's not and just has an eccentric personality. In which saying something like that is out of order.

 

Most likely it's a troller though, so meh.

 

i'm not a trawler. i'm not a mackem. i'm not a "wum" and i'm not a "vic".

 

i have not had any previous log ins.

 

i am an honest nufc fan. i have been a season ticket holder for many years and have racked up plenty of miles up and down the country to watch my club. i am not claiming to be a great nufc fan. far from it. there is always someone better who has done more away games.

 

but i have certainly totalled enough games to give an opinion which i deem valid, and others controversial. i'm not bothered what others think of my opinions.

 

this season, as everyone is aware, has been a fucking disaster. people can blame who they want and defend who they want but my overall opinion is thus:

 

nobody is excused from the fucking shambolic season we have had. everyone must take some sort of blame. keegan, ashley, shearer and all the way through to every single spineless fucking player who has participated in the 38 league games this season. in my opinion, they are all fucking cowards. and it fucking pisses me right off.

 

when i go to games and watch players, for example, like owen and martins, who earn around £200k p/w combined, walking about the pitch, hands on hips and giving an uninterested attitude, it boils my fucking piss. if some people are ok with that, fine. i'm fucking pleased for you.

 

but me? like most, i work all day, every day. i've devoted a large amount of my hard earned into nufc and had fuck all in return to shout about, and i will continue to do so for as long as it remains financially possible. again though, i am not trying to sound like i am the best fan around, as there are always fan who have a clocked up more miles and games.

 

but if i pay my way, which i have done for plenty of years now, i expect something in return. relegation is fucking inexcusable.

 

it boils my piss. yes, there's new grounds to attend next year, yes, some people might be optimistic for next season in a different division and barnsley might sell better mince pies than any other ground, but i don't give a fuck.  i'm fucking devastated and highly pissed off. like you all, i want to see them playing in the top division buying the top players.

 

i've read posts on here like similar to, "coloccini is not shit" and "i'd be ecstatic if we signed beckford." the reality is this. players like coloccini, nolan and so forth are fucking garbage. no matter how you dress it up. no matter how coloccini or another fucking foreign cunt played in a different division, he is shit. like every single other player in the other team. there is no player in the team who can put their hand on the heart and say he gave EVERYTHING to the cause this season. can they fuck.

 

i can't be fucked to dig up the post re. a certain poster being "ecstatic" over beckford, but fuck me. i don't care how many goals the cunt scored in a fucking abysmal division, a reality check is required. players like these are shite - in a nutshell. if he wasn't, he'd have been snapped up by now.

 

and while i'm on it; i don't think shearer is the manager to take us forward,either. whilst i appreciate he wants the club to be ran properly from top to bottom, i don't think an inexperienced manager should be taking the reigns of a club that is heading into it's darkest period in years. we need someone with experience and a good head on their shoulders. who? i do not know. it's not my job to pick. however, if or when shearer is appointed, i will give him my support. in my honest opinion, shearer should take up a higher role, and ensure the club is ran professionally from there - similar to (tin hat on) that lanky irish cunt at sunderland.

 

on the other side of the coin, if shearer fails as manager, then the next manager installed at newcastle will not have have the monkey of alan shearer being the next manager on his back.

 

if you think my posts are controversial, deal with it. just like i will deal with whatever you think about my posts and opinions.

 

:clap:

 

Post of the day.

 

30 mins to beat it.

 

I fear for Shearer in this role too, as a manager that is, but unfortunately we need him on side and in the club, and your point about him doing a Niall Quinn really gets me thinking, that would be perfect for us but i doubt he wants that role, he wants hands on and all the glory that will come with it. He was like that as a player and will be like that as a manager whereas Quinn liked to be the support.

 

 

 

 

 

Post of the day?

 

Have you been on the Buckfast?

 

 

 

Admittedly i have been drinking all night, but i agree with a lot of that post regardless of how much John Smiths and Amaretto i've had.

 

Should i highlight in marker text the bits i think are valid?

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Toon's Taylor likes the bad boys, massive inferiority complex - probably stemming from experiences during high school with bullies in bathrooms

 

You like a bit of cock, im not complaining.  :razz:

 

 

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Guest toonlass

Don't know why that mackem troll hasn't been banned yet. Moderators?

 

excuse me?

 

I think that is what you call a pre-ban. It is like a pre-date only it is a ban.

 

i've only been banned once and that was for calling someone a cunt.

 

see the house of the banned

 

i've never had a previous log in

 

Shame you bothered coming back after the ban tbh

 

that's bang out of order that mind.

 

I agree, he might be a troll, but there's also the small chance he's not and just has an eccentric personality. In which saying something like that is out of order.

 

Most likely it's a troller though, so meh.

 

i'm not a trawler. i'm not a mackem. i'm not a "wum" and i'm not a "vic".

 

i have not had any previous log ins.

 

i am an honest nufc fan. i have been a season ticket holder for many years and have racked up plenty of miles up and down the country to watch my club. i am not claiming to be a great nufc fan. far from it. there is always someone better who has done more away games.

 

but i have certainly totalled enough games to give an opinion which i deem valid, and others controversial. i'm not bothered what others think of my opinions.

 

this season, as everyone is aware, has been a fucking disaster. people can blame who they want and defend who they want but my overall opinion is thus:

 

nobody is excused from the fucking shambolic season we have had. everyone must take some sort of blame. keegan, ashley, shearer and all the way through to every single spineless fucking player who has participated in the 38 league games this season. in my opinion, they are all fucking cowards. and it fucking pisses me right off.

 

when i go to games and watch players, for example, like owen and martins, who earn around £200k p/w combined, walking about the pitch, hands on hips and giving an uninterested attitude, it boils my fucking piss. if some people are ok with that, fine. i'm fucking pleased for you.

 

but me? like most, i work all day, every day. i've devoted a large amount of my hard earned into nufc and had fuck all in return to shout about, and i will continue to do so for as long as it remains financially possible. again though, i am not trying to sound like i am the best fan around, as there are always fan who have a clocked up more miles and games.

 

but if i pay my way, which i have done for plenty of years now, i expect something in return. relegation is fucking inexcusable.

 

it boils my piss. yes, there's new grounds to attend next year, yes, some people might be optimistic for next season in a different division and barnsley might sell better mince pies than any other ground, but i don't give a fuck.  i'm fucking devastated and highly pissed off. like you all, i want to see them playing in the top division buying the top players.

 

i've read posts on here like similar to, "coloccini is not shit" and "i'd be ecstatic if we signed beckford." the reality is this. players like coloccini, nolan and so forth are fucking garbage. no matter how you dress it up. no matter how coloccini or another fucking foreign cunt played in a different division, he is shit. like every single other player in the other team. there is no player in the team who can put their hand on the heart and say he gave EVERYTHING to the cause this season. can they fuck.

 

i can't be fucked to dig up the post re. a certain poster being "ecstatic" over beckford, but fuck me. i don't care how many goals the cunt scored in a fucking abysmal division, a reality check is required. players like these are shite - in a nutshell. if he wasn't, he'd have been snapped up by now.

 

and while i'm on it; i don't think shearer is the manager to take us forward,either. whilst i appreciate he wants the club to be ran properly from top to bottom, i don't think an inexperienced manager should be taking the reigns of a club that is heading into it's darkest period in years. we need someone with experience and a good head on their shoulders. who? i do not know. it's not my job to pick. however, if or when shearer is appointed, i will give him my support. in my honest opinion, shearer should take up a higher role, and ensure the club is ran professionally from there - similar to (tin hat on) that lanky irish cunt at sunderland.

 

on the other side of the coin, if shearer fails as manager, then the next manager installed at newcastle will not have have the monkey of alan shearer being the next manager on his back.

 

if you think my posts are controversial, deal with it. just like i will deal with whatever you think about my posts and opinions.

 

:clap:

 

Post of the day.

 

30 mins to beat it.

 

I fear for Shearer in this role too, as a manager that is, but unfortunately we need him on side and in the club, and your point about him doing a Niall Quinn really gets me thinking, that would be perfect for us but i doubt he wants that role, he wants hands on and all the glory that will come with it. He was like that as a player and will be like that as a manager whereas Quinn liked to be the support.

 

 

 

 

 

Post of the day?

 

Have you been on the Buckfast?

 

 

 

Admittedly i have been drinking all night, but i agree with a lot of that post regardless of how much John Smiths and Amaretto i've had.

 

Should i highlight in marker text the bits i think are valid?

 

Go on then sonna

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Don't know why that mackem troll hasn't been banned yet. Moderators?

 

excuse me?

 

I think that is what you call a pre-ban. It is like a pre-date only it is a ban.

 

i've only been banned once and that was for calling someone a cunt.

 

see the house of the banned

 

i've never had a previous log in

 

Shame you bothered coming back after the ban tbh

 

that's bang out of order that mind.

 

I agree, he might be a troll, but there's also the small chance he's not and just has an eccentric personality. In which saying something like that is out of order.

 

Most likely it's a troller though, so meh.

 

i'm not a trawler. i'm not a mackem. i'm not a "wum" and i'm not a "vic".

 

i have not had any previous log ins.

 

i am an honest nufc fan. i have been a season ticket holder for many years and have racked up plenty of miles up and down the country to watch my club. i am not claiming to be a great nufc fan. far from it. there is always someone better who has done more away games.

 

but i have certainly totalled enough games to give an opinion which i deem valid, and others controversial. i'm not bothered what others think of my opinions.

 

this season, as everyone is aware, has been a fucking disaster. people can blame who they want and defend who they want but my overall opinion is thus:

 

nobody is excused from the fucking shambolic season we have had. everyone must take some sort of blame. keegan, ashley, shearer and all the way through to every single spineless fucking player who has participated in the 38 league games this season. in my opinion, they are all fucking cowards. and it fucking pisses me right off.

 

when i go to games and watch players, for example, like owen and martins, who earn around £200k p/w combined, walking about the pitch, hands on hips and giving an uninterested attitude, it boils my fucking piss. if some people are ok with that, fine. i'm fucking pleased for you.

 

but me? like most, i work all day, every day. i've devoted a large amount of my hard earned into nufc and had fuck all in return to shout about, and i will continue to do so for as long as it remains financially possible. again though, i am not trying to sound like i am the best fan around, as there are always fan who have a clocked up more miles and games.

 

but if i pay my way, which i have done for plenty of years now, i expect something in return. relegation is fucking inexcusable.

 

it boils my piss. yes, there's new grounds to attend next year, yes, some people might be optimistic for next season in a different division and barnsley might sell better mince pies than any other ground, but i don't give a fuck.  i'm fucking devastated and highly pissed off. like you all, i want to see them playing in the top division buying the top players.

 

i've read posts on here like similar to, "coloccini is not shit" and "i'd be ecstatic if we signed beckford." the reality is this. players like coloccini, nolan and so forth are fucking garbage. no matter how you dress it up. no matter how coloccini or another fucking foreign cunt played in a different division, he is shit. like every single other player in the other team. there is no player in the team who can put their hand on the heart and say he gave EVERYTHING to the cause this season. can they fuck.

 

i can't be fucked to dig up the post re. a certain poster being "ecstatic" over beckford, but fuck me. i don't care how many goals the cunt scored in a fucking abysmal division, a reality check is required. players like these are shite - in a nutshell. if he wasn't, he'd have been snapped up by now.

 

and while i'm on it; i don't think shearer is the manager to take us forward,either. whilst i appreciate he wants the club to be ran properly from top to bottom, i don't think an inexperienced manager should be taking the reigns of a club that is heading into it's darkest period in years. we need someone with experience and a good head on their shoulders. who? i do not know. it's not my job to pick. however, if or when shearer is appointed, i will give him my support. in my honest opinion, shearer should take up a higher role, and ensure the club is ran professionally from there - similar to (tin hat on) that lanky irish cunt at sunderland.

 

on the other side of the coin, if shearer fails as manager, then the next manager installed at newcastle will not have have the monkey of alan shearer being the next manager on his back.

 

if you think my posts are controversial, deal with it. just like i will deal with whatever you think about my posts and opinions.

 

all in bold Blef are valid points for me.

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I think there are a couple of players who gave what could easily be considered maximum effort

 

possibly taylor, but then people would say i was biased. :rolleyes:

 

Harper also.

 

But in general, if 90% don't give a fuk and haven't put in the effort its not so wrong to tar the fuking lot imo.

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Guest toonlass

I think there are a couple of players who gave what could easily be considered maximum effort

 

possibly taylor, but then people would say i was biased.

 

Harper also.

 

But in general, if 90% don't give a fuk and haven't put in the effort its not so wrong to tar the fuking lot imo.

 

You said you agreed that none of them gave everything, well I say that there were some on opportunity gave a lot more than others, but didn't have opportunity to do that.

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I think there are a couple of players who gave what could easily be considered maximum effort

 

possibly taylor, but then people would say i was biased. :rolleyes:

 

Harper also.

 

But in general, if 90% don't give a fuk and haven't put in the effort its not so wrong to tar the fuking lot imo.

 

bassong, beye, butt.

 

all gave maximum effort imo, butt may be shite, but he always gives his all.

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Guest toonlass

I think there are a couple of players who gave what could easily be considered maximum effort

 

possibly taylor, but then people would say i was biased. :rolleyes:

 

Harper also.

 

But in general, if 90% don't give a fuk and haven't put in the effort its not so wrong to tar the fuking lot imo.

 

bassong, beye, butt.

 

all gave maximum effort imo, butt may be shite, but he always gives his all.

 

Haper, Guttierrez too

 

Might not be able to do owt but gave 100%

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I think there are a couple of players who gave what could easily be considered maximum effort

 

possibly taylor, but then people would say i was biased. :rolleyes:

 

Harper also.

 

But in general, if 90% don't give a fuk and haven't put in the effort its not so wrong to tar the fuking lot imo.

 

of course it is, say you were in a team of 22 and you plus 1 or 2 others put in maximum effort and the rest fucked it up royally.

 

Say someone collectively accused the entire team of not exerting maximum effort, how would you react? I know how I fucking would.

 

For the record I feel at least 3 gave their best this season, several others might have but they just weren't good enough

 

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It's very subjective how much effort a person gave in to a task, and why you are arguing with it since there's not much to argue about in the rest of the post bar his opinion on Beckford.

 

 

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the entire post consists of absolute speculation and ignorant generalisations

 

Harsh.

 

IMO his point about Shearer is one of the most interesting things i've read on the board in the last couple of weeks.

 

Everyone knows Shearer is the right man for the club, but is he the right man for the job?

 

Makes me think anyway.

 

 

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Don't know why that mackem troll hasn't been banned yet. Moderators?

 

excuse me?

 

I think that is what you call a pre-ban. It is like a pre-date only it is a ban.

 

i've only been banned once and that was for calling someone a c***.

 

see the house of the banned

 

i've never had a previous log in

 

Shame you bothered coming back after the ban tbh

 

Mate that is well out of line.

 

Absoloutely no need for that whatsoever.

 

You might not agree with all his posts but he's still a Newcastle fan and those kind of comments are unwaranted on this site.

 

Having read wshmag's posts, which frankly have ranged between embarrassing wind-uppery and sheer outright idiocy in pretty much even numbers, I'm inclined to respectfully disagree.

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Feel free to take your gissa job brochure, your helicopter, your equine fixation and your miserable face to anywhere daft enough to employ you. We're already looking forward to your duet on the KC Stadium pitch with Phil Brown...

 

Don't think that this criticism has anything to do with your fading talents as a footballer though - no, our beef with you remains the four years-worth of utter contempt shown to the people who bought the shirts, seats and subscriptions that funded your lavish lifestyle.

 

At least people like Joey Barton go through the motions of badge-kissing and patronising the punters. You couldn't even be bothered to do that, spending your time on Tyneside with a face like a smacked arse, interspersed with brief interludes of sucking lemons. 

 

Your skin may be thick but it'll never be as thick as your wallet. Don't feel bad about us though - we'd have only blown the tens of millions of pounds that went into your offshore accounts on other ungrateful pillocks.

 

No shame, no guts, no soul, but a bulging portfolio. Role model? my arse. You put the con in Icon.

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