Guest saintscoobz Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Dateline April 1st 2007: Venue:A Casino,somewhere in London. At a private booth,2 men are in deep discussion,both are prominent businessmen,1 is Mike Ashley,the other could be anybody,in my scenario.They are discussing a phenomonenal wager,500 million pounds worth,in fact.The unknown man is suggesting it would be a challenge to get one of the top 3 most supported clubs in the Premiership relegated.Ashley,never one to turn down a wager accepts and puts his plan into work. i have said this for ages, i think this is an elaborate ploy by Ashley and his rich spurs mates to destroy NUFC because we were always a better club! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 What a thread. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alan Shearer 9 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I disagree with this theory in teh original post strongly; to be frank it is rediculous and infantile is a kind description of this crazy conspiracy theory. Here is my theory: Freddy Shepherd had sunk in popularity ever since SBR's departure and the numerous and severe errors he committed since that grave day. He wasn't getting any younger or slimmer and his wife was refusing to slap his cocktail sausage about every wednesday as agreed in their pre nuptials; he had resorted to putting a pie on his cock and getting the dog to eat it off. His professional and personal life was a misery. He thought about ending it but then he thought, wait a minute, I'm a rich cunt, I could get extensive plastic surgery to improve my appearance drastically. Three months later 'Mike Ashley', Freddy SHepherd's new alias took over the club. Shepherd used this secret identity to sell his own share of the club to himself which meant he profited 37 times more than if he hadn't been in disguise. He posed as a new owner so hopelessly incompetant and inept that after a brief and disastrouse tenure resulting in relegation he could take back over the club as a popular figure comparitavely. That's where we are now. His wife still wouldn't have the merest sniff of his wonga after the surgery so he killed her and is returning to his previous appearance. Buying the club back cheaper will also mean that Shepherd has taken 372 billion profit in the last 3 years out of the club. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ObaStar Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I can't believe people are actually arguing this might have been what happened. Can we please be a bit serious? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
garth Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I disagree with this theory in teh original post strongly; to be frank it is rediculous and infantile is a kind description of this crazy conspiracy theory. Here is my theory: Freddy Shepherd had sunk in popularity ever since SBR's departure and the numerous and severe errors he committed since that grave day. He wasn't getting any younger or slimmer and his wife was refusing to slap his cocktail sausage about every wednesday as agreed in their pre nuptials; he had resorted to putting a pie on his cock and getting the dog to eat it off. His professional and personal life was a misery. He thought about ending it but then he thought, wait a minute, I'm a rich c***, I could get extensive plastic surgery to improve my appearance drastically. Three months later 'Mike Ashley', Freddy SHepherd's new alias took over the club. Shepherd used this secret identity to sell his own share of the club to himself which meant he profited 37 times more than if he hadn't been in disguise. He posed as a new owner so hopelessly incompetant and inept that after a brief and disastrouse tenure resulting in relegation he could take back over the club as a popular figure comparitavely. That's where we are now. His wife still wouldn't have the merest sniff of his wonga after the surgery so he killed her and is returning to his previous appearance. Buying the club back cheaper will also mean that Shepherd has taken 372 billion profit in the last 3 years out of the club. That's the best theory so far, more credible than the first poster. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manorpark Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 To many, this whole thread will instantly seem so 'incredible' / 'stupid' / 'juvenile' / 'far-fetched' . . . etc, etc, etc. A man on the moon??? Don't be RIDICULOUS!! Whereas, in the REAL world, almost anything is very, very, possible . . . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dinotheprehistoricgeordie Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/7735/dukes.jpg You win! 1 dollar! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manorpark Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 One day I will visit "Planet Innocence". I am sure it is a very nice, straightforward, place!!!!!!! (where nothing different happens) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 To quote a 70's punk great,Anybody feel they're being conned? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmk Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 This thread is simply staggering, some people just dont live in the real world it seems. How can you create a conspiracy theory like that it's absurd. From a billionaire recluse to betting in casinos that he is going to relegate a football team. Deary me Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmk Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 MA is in a state where he has lost a lot of money, but all the debts are placed within his own company so the money will come back somehow (at least some part of what he has lost already), so as of today i don't believe this talk about that he is not on a crusade to hurt us, because i am actually believing he's doing everything he can to destroy this club without doing too much damage (as he clearly wants his money back sooner then never). He's teasing us and we are falling for it. No, he is an owner that had a plan - scouting young talent, DoF, not rely on big signings so much. That backfired. He tried to sell the club after the KK incident - club was in limbo, no-one took action until too late.. Relegated. If he didnt want us to survive, he would have left Hughton in charge all season wouldn't he. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raconteur Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 In answer to the question posed in the thread's title: YES, your thoughts ARE as far-fetched as they seem. Maybe even more so. The "malice" or "vengeance" attributed to Ashley - he would have to be a sociopath of gargantuan proportions to willingly and maliciously inflict this level of suffering on such a large population group (ie Toon fans as a whole). The kind of disorder that would have manifested itself long before he bought the club. Even if such a disorder were latent, the "Boycoutt" protests would not have caused a sufficient "break" (or switch from normal to monster) to validate these lunatic theories. Give it a rest people. He's a clueless gambler who is drowning us all in his incompetence, NOT malice... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teasy Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 This threads an insult to this forum Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmk Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 This threads an insult to this forum It's without fail going to be treasured for a long time amongst the Mackem boards. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 This threads an insult to this forum It's without fail going to be treasured for a long time amongst the Mackem boards. Only the 3 that can read. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 In answer to the question posed in the thread's title: YES, your thoughts ARE as far-fetched as they seem. Maybe even more so. The "malice" or "vengeance" attributed to Ashley - he would have to be a sociopath of gargantuan proportions to willingly and maliciously inflict this level of suffering on such a large population group (ie Toon fans as a whole). The kind of disorder that would have manifested itself long before he bought the club. Even if such a disorder were latent, the "Boycoutt" protests would not have caused a sufficient "break" (or switch from normal to monster) to validate these lunatic theories. Give it a rest people. He's a clueless gambler who is drowning us all in his incompetence, NOT malice... Its been malice since the Keegan sacking,you need to open your eyes mate. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmk Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 In answer to the question posed in the thread's title: YES, your thoughts ARE as far-fetched as they seem. Maybe even more so. The "malice" or "vengeance" attributed to Ashley - he would have to be a sociopath of gargantuan proportions to willingly and maliciously inflict this level of suffering on such a large population group (ie Toon fans as a whole). The kind of disorder that would have manifested itself long before he bought the club. Even if such a disorder were latent, the "Boycoutt" protests would not have caused a sufficient "break" (or switch from normal to monster) to validate these lunatic theories. Give it a rest people. He's a clueless gambler who is drowning us all in his incompetence, NOT malice... Its been malice since the Keegan sacking,you need to open your eyes mate. He tried to sell the club, appointed an interim manager in the meantime - the only person wanting to take it was unfortunately JFK. The worse thing he did in that time by far was not appoint a permanent manager until late on. Malice would have been sticking with Hughton.. and selling players like Bassong, Beye, Taylor in January. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
magpie418 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 http://www.philzimmermann.com/images/TinFoilHatArea.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnypd Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 the idea gives more credit to Ashley than he deserves, we're in this state not because he is some kind of mastermind, but because he's just the opposite- clueless. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzzieMandias Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Judging by this thread, it's high time they re-opened St Nick's. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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