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Overheard at St. James' Park (and in pubs pre/post match etc)


WarrenBartonCentrePartin
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Don't know how familiar some of you are with the Facebook group that was started, 'Overheard at Newcastle University'.  It got a feature in the Sunday Times Magazine.  Its a group where people post stupid things they've overheard from others in and around the uni.  Its mainly people taking the piss out of posh kids for saying utterly stupid things, or stuff that highlights their rich snobbery.  This is it, should you wish to have a look.  http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=search&gid=267692819264

 

I thought for a laugh I'd start one for things you've overheard at SJP from fans in the concourses, sat around you, or in the pub.

 

I'm not trying to turn us against one another, its just a light hearted thread where people can mention stuff they've heard from the mouths of other fans that have puzzled you or left you completely confused.  Also, I'm not saying keep it entirely to just our fans.

 

 

I'll start off with an example.  At the Scunny game the other night, a bloke behind us said 'Oh, here's that Tozer lad coming on'.  Only it wasn't.  It was Kadar.  He looked like Kadar, he had number 28 on his back, and he went to LB.  Pretty much everyone knew it was Kadar.  It took them about 5 minutes to click it wasn't Tozer.  This then led the 3 of them to spend a further 5 minutes bickering about where Kadar was from.  One said Switzerland, to which his mate insisted it was Austria.  Then the third told them they were both wrong, he's German.  Finally, one clicked, and said that he was Hungarian.  They all realised.

 

After this, the bloke that said he was Hungarian tried to catch another one out.  He asked another, 'where did we sign Coloccini from?' to which the reply came back 'Italy wannit?'.  His mate laughed and said 'try again' to which the bloke said 'Spain'.  He was then asked 'what club in Spain?' and again the answer came back, 'fuck knaz, Real Sociedad?'

 

Dunno if its me, assuming that most people sat there would have known all of the above, but I was left a bit stunned as to how little they knew not about their own team in general, but about very recent stuff.

 

Anyhow, feel free to fire away...

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Guy to my right at the last game turned to his mate and said, "Your lass has offered me a blowjob if Newcastle win tonight."

 

The lad looked genuinely shocked.

 

The first guy then gets out his phone at half time, saying "Newcastle two - nil up.  Pucker up babes."

 

And at full time, "Three Nil.  I hope you're ganna swallow."

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Guest firetotheworks

'crush the b****** colo!!!'

 

from an 8 year old kid in front of me against Palace, he then got told off by his Grandad whilst everyone else around pissed themselves laughing.

 

 

EDIT: I didn't know if he was actually 8. I just assume all kids are that age.

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Last season, Nicky Butt was tracking the guy on the ball.  A guy a few rows in front stands up and shouts at the top of his voice,

 

"JUST KILL HIM MAN!"

 

So Nicky dives in, like kamikaze style, and misses the player completely.

 

The shouting guy went absolutely apoplectic, and starts screaming (and I mean, SCREAMING), "YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKIN' KILL HIM RIGHT, MAN!"

 

He turns and sees me laughing at him, at which point he just sat down.

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Don't know how familiar some of you are with the Facebook group that was started, 'Overheard at Newcastle University'.  It got a feature in the Sunday Times Magazine.  Its a group where people post stupid things they've overheard from others in and around the uni.  Its mainly people taking the piss out of posh kids for saying utterly stupid things, or stuff that highlights their rich snobbery.  This is it, should you wish to have a look.  http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=search&gid=267692819264

 

I thought for a laugh I'd start one for things you've overheard at SJP from fans in the concourses, sat around you, or in the pub.

 

I'm not trying to turn us against one another, its just a light hearted thread where people can mention stuff they've heard from the mouths of other fans that have puzzled you or left you completely confused.  Also, I'm not saying keep it entirely to just our fans.

 

 

I'll start off with an example.  At the Scunny game the other night, a bloke behind us said 'Oh, here's that Tozer lad coming on'.  Only it wasn't.  It was Kadar.  He looked like Kadar, he had number 28 on his back, and he went to LB.  Pretty much everyone knew it was Kadar.  It took them about 5 minutes to click it wasn't Tozer.  This then led the 3 of them to spend a further 5 minutes bickering about where Kadar was from.  One said Switzerland, to which his mate insisted it was Austria.  Then the third told them they were both wrong, he's German.  Finally, one clicked, and said that he was Hungarian.  They all realised.

 

After this, the bloke that said he was Hungarian tried to catch another one out.  He asked another, 'where did we sign Coloccini from?' to which the reply came back 'Italy wannit?'.  His mate laughed and said 'try again' to which the bloke said 'Spain'.  He was then asked 'what club in Spain?' and again the answer came back, 'fuck knaz, Real Sociedad?'

 

Dunno if its me, assuming that most people sat there would have known all of the above, but I was left a bit stunned as to how little they knew not about their own team in general, but about very recent stuff.

 

Anyhow, feel free to fire away...

 

Do you sit in the East Stand per chance?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:fishing:

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i was stuck in front of a group of lads against barnsley who thought the stadium was a 65,000 seater they were also shocked as to why lovenkrands wasnt playing his natural position on the right wing :kinnear:

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i was stuck in front of a group of lads against barnsley who thought the stadium was a 65,000 seater they were also shocked as to why lovenkrands wasnt playing his natural position on the right wing :kinnear:

Were they Barnsley fans?

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At the whistle for the end of normal time at a Carling Cup game with Chelsea when the score was 1-1, the bloke in front of me gets up and goes 'Well earned point, see you all later'. He must have been a bit of a tit cos no-one bothered to correct him and he walked off oblivious!

 

At the Fernebache game in the UEFA Cup a few years back a fan shouted at the Fernebache keeper 'Your mam smells of biscuits!'. Even after many years have passed I still don't really get that that one.

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Guy to my right at the last game turned to his mate and said, "Your lass has offered me a blowjob if Newcastle win tonight."

 

The lad looked genuinely shocked.

 

The first guy then gets out his phone at half time, saying "Newcastle two - nil up.  Pucker up babes."

 

And at full time, "Three Nil.  I hope you're ganna swallow."

 

'He's given him a red card...he's been sent off... I can't believe he's sent him off...What was that even for?'

'He's still on the pitch- it was a yellow card'

'Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm colour blind'

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I can't contribute anything daft, so I'm just going to contribute funny (I hope).

 

"Howay man Derek, get the fucking lead oot!" - Some time ago, when D. Wright was our physio

"Come on ya black and white bastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards!" - Not funny to read, but when some fat, middle aged bloke says it in a fucking falsetto voice it's canny.

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