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Random footballers from the 00's


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Collins John




"I'm delighted that a player of Collins John's ability has signed for the club,"............... said Barnet coach Mark Robson.


The Liberian born striker signed for around £600k, had a blistering start for Fulham, ending the season as their top scorer. Tailed out and has had spells at Leicester City, Watford, N.E.C Breda, Roselare (Belgium) and Chicago Fire before Tony Adams signed him for Gabala (Azerbaijan). Adams left, and so did John, packing his bags and moving to Mes Sarcheshmeh (Iran) before being brought in by Barnet chairman Anthony Kleanthous to play under Edgar Davids. He is now a free agent after having his contract terminated from Barnet playing only 75 minutes in 5 months for the league 2 club. Still only 27.




Amr Zaki




"after Portsmouth signed an Israeli player and also hired an Israeli football director a possible move was ruled out. On top of that, no way could I play at Portsmouth with an Algerian within their ranks."


Egyptian born striker once likened to Alan Shearer by Dave Whelan. Signed on loan from Zamalek, Zaki had a eventful couple of seasons in the Premiership with an mildly impressive goal tally of 11 in his first season. However, the lure of not returning to play under Steve Bruce proved too much and he hid in Egypt for a while. Despite being fined absolutely loads by Steve Bruce he stayed, with Steve Bruce declaring the club would not be taking up the option of making his loan deal permanent. After a sort of odd spell at Hull City he moved to Turkey to play for Elazığspor (after a brief bout of interest from Blackpool). Once the Turkish club stopped paying him he rescinded his contract and is now a free agent.




Nacho Novo




Played for Rangers from 2004 until 2010, where he won 3 league titles, 2 league cup, 1 Scottish cup and finished runner up in the UEFA cup, currently playing at Huesca in the spanish segunda divison. He also had a spell at Sporting Gijón where manager Javier Clemente, branded him "a coward", saying he had "shown no commitment to the club in their time of need", and tore up Novo's contract.





Zesh Rehman




Born in Birmingham on 14th October 1983, Zesh was the first British Asian to play in the Premier League when he made his Fulham bow in 2004. A trailblazer of his time, he opened the floodgates for British Asians playing in the Premier League. Soon followed him were stars such as Michael Chopra and Jesminder Bhamra.


Zesh continued his career playing for other English giants such as QPR, Brighton and Hove Albion and Bradford City before deciding to take his classy defending style abroad. Zesh joined Thai Premier League side Muangthong before moving on to Hong Kong giants Kitchee for the 2012-2013 season.


Zesh has made 10 appearances for the Pakistan national team and continues to represent his blood nation when he can be arsed. A true pioneer for the sport Zesh doesn't look like stopping any time soon and still has many years left in the tank!





Tijani Babangida




Known for his pace, his playing style was sometimes compared to that of Marc Overmars.  At club level, Babangida spent nine years in Netherlands, playing for VVV-Venlo, Roda JC and Ajax, winning the Eredivisie plus KNVB Cup double with the latter sideOverall, he has played in five different countries on three different continents.


Two of his nine brothers, Ibrahim and Haruna are also footballers. In 2004, Babangida signed a $2 million contract to bring new footballs to Nigeria. The same year, he opened a shopping mall in Kaduna. Upon retiring from professional football, Babangida has also been working as a football agent.


He achieved cult status in the ISS/Pro Evolution Soccer game series, due to his lightening speed and incredible ball control. With 99 pace he was the original and still for many the king of sweat.





Hakin Yakin




Hakan Yakin had ITV pundits spunking in their pants after a few good performances for Basel in the 02/03 Champions League where they pipped the bindippers to second spot in the group stages.  Insightful c***s such as Robbie Earle and Andy Townsend said Yakin was the better than Pele and Maradona put together and that all the top PL clubs should be looking at him.  Yakin, however, had other ideas and remained in Switzerland for most of his career where he is still pigging out on toblerone, wearing fancy watches, getting paid with Nazi gold and being a f***ing neutral bugger.  It's rumoured Hakan has volunteered to be sent round in the hadron collider with brother Mourat to create a "Super Yakin" which will save the world from the current recession.



Elvis Hammond




. Born in Accra (Ghana) on the 6th October 1980, Hammond was another product of Fulham's famous academy. A powerful, pacey striker Elvis soon rose his way througn Fulham's youth and academy sides before making his full debut in the Worthington Cup at the (Love Me) Tender age of 19, but found it difficult to dislodge Fulham's expensively assembled collection of forward players. He spent time on loan at Bristol Rovers in the 2001-2002 season, however after 7 games and no goals it was Return To Sender for Hammond as he went back to Fulham.


After more disappointing loan spells for Hammond at Norwich and RB Roosendall in Holland Hammond eventually decided It's Now Or Never and made a permanent move away from Fulham in 2005 - joining Leicester City for £250,000. Elvis' time at Leicester was the most successful period of his career to date scoring a commendable 8 goals in 58 appearances, even making his only appearance to date for the Ghana national team in 2006. However it wasn't to last as with the appointment of new manager Martin Allen things were All Shook Up for the Foxes and many players were made surplus to requirements. A spell with Cheltenham followed before finding himself on the Way Down the footballing pyramid playing for Sutton United, Woking and now finally Farnborough Town where he finds himself today.


Hammond's career path shows that talent and a Burning Love for the game isn't always enough, many players find the world of professional football simply Too Much to handle. On July 16th 2012 Hammond was imprisoned for a year after being found guilt of money-laundering scam back in his homeland - a sad end to a footballing tail of Heartbreak Hotel and ultimately Jailhouse Rock.



Mart Poom (Estonian pronunciation: [ˈmɑrt ˈpoːm])




, born on 2nd February 1972 is without doubt the finest Estonian to play in the Premier League. Born and raised in Tallin, Poom played for numerous local clubs before making the move to Switzerland and FC Wil in 1993. A year later and The Poom was on the move once more, sailing to England and to Portsmouth. He failed to make his breakthrough at Pompey and after a brief spell on loan back in his homeland he made the switch to Derby County, dropping into a a star studded squad including the likes of Mauricio Solis, Deon Burton, Francesco Baiano and Marc-Bridge Wilkinson. Poom quickly became a fan's favourite at Derby, despite being mercilessly booed by the home crowd after every save.


After 6 years at Pride Park, Poom finally had enough of this rough treatment and decided to move North to Sunderland. It was at Sunderland, and during the noughties where The Poom's career really took off. The 02/03 record breaking seasons was a highlight, as he watched helpessly from the bench as other goalkeepers conceded hundreds of goals. Then on 20th September 2003, Mart had his finest moment of his career - heading in a corner in the dying embers of a game against former tormenters Derby to earn a point for Sunderland. It didn't stop the abuse though, as POOOOOOOOOOOOOM rang out from both the away and home ends - the 6 foot 5 giant brought visibly to tears by the continued suffering.


Poom moved onto Arsenal the following season, finally finding a home to escape his abusers. He enjoyed a fine 2 seasons, serving bench duty and winning runners up medals in both the Champions League and League Cup. Poom keeps these in his trophy cabinet in his Tallin home, alongside his unprecedented 6 Estonian Player of the Year Trophies and Jack Stamps Derby Country player of the year award 1999/2000.


Mart Poom - a gentle giant who while never quite accepted at any of the clubs he played at enjoyed a fine career in English football.



Hidetoshi Nakata




Asian's David Beckham and possibly the first true global football superstar from the continent. Retired at the age of 29 and switched to a career in fashion.



Khalilou Fadiga




One of the bright stars that was instrumental for Senegal during their surprise 2002 World Cup run, Khalilou played for a host of Belgian and French clubs early in his career before moving to Inter Milan from Auxerre. It was at Inter that the heart problems which troubled the rest of his career were discovered. He moved to Bolton next, and collapsed with a heart attack during training. Fortunately Mr. Fadiga survived and amazingly continued playing football with a newly-installed defibrillator despite the protestations of medical professionals. Fadiga continued to ply his trade in England and Belgium until his eventual retirement.









Played for Arsenal, I'll always remember when he scored against us in like the 80th minute to snatch away a victory for Arsenal.




Antoine Siberski, remember him scoring a run of headers and being surprisingly good for us all things considered.




Hleb. Massively overrated by manangers and not by fans. Somehow ended up playing at Barca for 12 mil where he was so bad they put him out on loan until they could get rid of him. Played for Birmingham for a bit and has now retired.




Razak Omotoyossi (Benin): playing in Egypt now.




I don't recall the exact year, but i saw this lad pull on the boots for the Benin U20's.


He looked a cracking prospect, but very raw: a muruading left-sided forward, with pace to burn. Decision making needed improving, because as a shooter the lad was trigger-happy, and this was further compounded by a lack composure in front of goal ie. used to brush over the ball & scuff his shots. Crashed & burned in France, and is now earning a paycheque in Egypt. He came through Benin's youth teams at the same as another Maiga (different to Fat Sam's Maiga). At the time both were rated (from that yth team) as the two kids to keep an eye on. I don't know what happened his forward-line sidekick ie. the Maiga mentioned.




Brett Ormerod - scored a hattrick at some point.




Kevin Lisbie - scored a hattrick against Liverpool at some point.




Hamilton Ricard - Boro talisman






Junchi Inamoto




Signed for Arsenal in 2001, didn't play a league game. Scored 2 goals for Japan at the summer games and moved across london to Fulham. Had 2 pretty good seasons at Fulham, before being carted of to West Brom where he became ignored after Megson's departure and had to make do with a loan at Cardiff. A brief tour of Europe (Gala, Frankfurt, Rennes) followed, before returning to Japan, where he still plays for Kawasaki Frontale.


Alpay Ozalan




After working his way up through Turkish football (Atlay, Besiktas and Fener) Alpay secured his move to England after impressing at Euro 2000. Here he flourished in the first season, and formed a strong partnership with Olaf Mellberg in the second season. His stock grew, and Villa manager refused to sell, despite the calling of bigger things at Inter Milan. He returned to Villa after the world cup and was sidelined as an unpopular figure. At the start of the 03/04 season he was booooooooo by the Villa fans, and exacerbated their hatred by shushing them when he scored. Dropped and fined, he disappeared from the Villa lineup.  In late 2003 he decided to wind up the nations favorite, David Beckham, poking him in the eye and sparking a brawl in the tunnel. Following his international actions he was released by Aston Villa. Despite large interest from Europe Alpay didn't want to wait til the end of the transfer window to sign for a European club, so set off for South Korea. A move to the J League followed, before finishing his career at Koln.


Chicken' George Ndah




George worked his way up through the Crystal Palace youth system before signing for then championship side Swindon Town. Suffering from financial trouble, Swindon sold him to Wolves where he spent 8 seasons at the club. In 2003/2004, his best season, George scored 4 goals in the first three rounds of the FA Cup, including one which knocked out Newcastle United. ( I remember this vividly). Unfortunately injury followed and his career petered out after sustaining injury after injury. He scored 15 goals in 87 games.


Search for

'ooo lord George Ndah' on youtube for a display of his talents.

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Mauriccio Pochettino


Gonzalo De Los Santos

Bjarne Goldbaek

Joseph Job

Alexei Smertin

Julius Aghahowa

Marcos Assuncao (phenomenal free kick taker)

Ivica Mornar

Magnus Hedman


Martin Palermo



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Mauriccio Pochettino

Martin Palermo

Alexei Smertin

Julius Aghahowa

Marcos Assuncao (phenomenal free kick taker)

Magnus Hedman


None of these are rather random are they?






He's like Townsend. Has played for 100+ clubs :lol:

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