TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I don't think the 5 defeats in a row is anywhere near his worst stat and that's saying something. Best stats are revolving around the amount of times we get hammered compared to previous managers. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeletor Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Throw in the long ball stats from last season too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 The stats give you a general idea, but everything else is where the gold is: Everything, literally everything that he says about everything (himself, us, the team, how we play, how we attack, how we defend, how we "usually" are, our aims etc) in the media. All PR. All lies. All of it. Changing winning systems, changing everything. Playing players out of position Dropping our best players Verbally abusing other managers Headbutting opposing players The excuses, oh god the excuses. Just some of them; Science, Not being Middle Class enough, too many games, not enough games, other games trying to climb the table, Europe, not being in Europe therefore being "rusty", honestly man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 He leads the swearing-at-Pellegrini and headbutting-Meyler charts too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 The stats give you a general idea, but everything else is where the gold is: Everything, literally everything that he says about everything (himself, us, the team, how we play, how we attack, how we defend, how we "usually" are, our aims etc) in the media. All PR. All lies. All of it. Changing winning systems, changing everything. Playing players out of position Dropping our best players Verbally abusing other managers Headbutting opposing players The excuses, oh god the excuses. Just some of them; Science, Not being Middle Class enough, too many games, not enough games, other games trying to climb the table, Europe, not being in Europe therefore being "rusty", honestly man. Aye "The players were tired" "You made 7 changes" ".... The players were rusty". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tachikoma Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Currently leads the charts on linesmen shoved, too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I'm doing an article on Pardew - what are some of the more remarkable stats, apart from 5 defeats in a row? Is 'never winning after going behind' actually true? no He's won a few after going behind. He's lost one fifth of the games Newcastle scored first in. There's plenty on my twitter in my sig. Worst one I saw today was that Williamson had 4 aerial duels in Swansea's box on Saturday. STILL!!!!? After 4 years! 104 appearances with 2 Assists! No goals! STILL!!! we lump the ball at that 50p piece headed twat EVERY frigging time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Most times beaten by Brighton. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 The manager Somen Tchoyi has scored the most hatricks against. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I'm doing an article on Pardew - what are some of the more remarkable stats, apart from 5 defeats in a row? Is 'never winning after going behind' actually true? Joint lowest scoring team in England in 2014. Also not scored in 17 out of 22 games or something daft. Copyright Happy Face. Not joint lowest. We stand alone on that score. We have failed to score in 71% of games since 29/12/13. Next up is Wycombe on 55%. So while we have averaged a goal 1 game in 4 (which would cost you £120+), if another club doesn't score one game, they almost always score in the next. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 In a feat revered as 'Tchoyi Story 3' by Baggies fans (referencing the film Toy Story 3) he scored a hat-trick against Newcastle United at St. James' Park on the last day of the 2010–11 season, rescuing a point after being down 3–0 early into the second half. Grim. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tachikoma Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Must be leading the charts on most excuses used in a season. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 THAT is a horrific stat. Get beat as many times as you want, but goals are THE fundamental part of the game Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Flash Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 One of my favourite bits of Pardaganda... "I don't feel particularly great, it was a tough day. They looked like a team who had worked all week on us and we looked like a team that had a really tough game on Thursday night. It was a great day for Sunderland and an awful day for us. “We couldn’t match them. They had an energy level above us. In the end, a couple of good saves from their goalie and a couple of wonder strikes, have made a horrible result for us. "You’re looking at the team, and you just know that ain’t our team. We looked tired in the mind and tired in the body. I’m not making excuses for me or the team, but I don’t think you needed to be a professional to know that one team looked really fresh, and one didn’t. “We still had a big chance in that game. If the linesman had given that (Papiss Cisse) goal suddenly a goal can do wondrous things to your energy levels. “Three or four players ... you have to (ask) whether they could play that game. Mapou (Yanga-Mbwia) and (Yohan) Cabaye, in particular, looked really tired. You don’t really know until you get out there. "I think they (the derby debutants) got it but if you’re not at your full battery levels, it’s difficult to put that out of the pitch. Sometimes your levels are such that you just can’t match the opposition. "That was a tough decision (not to start with left back Massadio Haidara). He is a young boy and I wanted to play a bit of experience, people who I I think know the game and with hindsight, perhaps I should have played him. I didn’t think he could get through that after Thursday’s match, his first game back, also get the intensity of it. “Maybe if Tim (Krul) hadn’t got injured at that crucial point, it could have been 1-1, and we could have had an extra sub with extra energy. We could have brought on an extra offensive or defensive player, or whatever we needed. That got taken away. It was a game that really didn’t work out for us. "I will make sure it hurts the players. We've got to do some work with the team. There's no Europa League left and we need to make sure we get our shape right and get ourselves disciplined and try to win games. "This (result) won't leave me because it's our home and we don't want to get beaten by our rivals." He's not making excuses about tiredness though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Actually, here's my favourite. You NEED to use this like, I doubt I'll ever get over this one: Pardew with the worst GD of all our Premier league managers. Gullit+Souness+Roeder+Allardyce+Kinnear+Shearer+Hughton= -32 Pardew= -32 If that doesn't convince anyone, I dunno what will. A catalogue of 7 managers that were either failures or deemed as failures by the club providing the sum total of the same negative goal difference as 1 Alan Pardew. Risible. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanshithispantz Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 One of my favourite bits of Pardaganda... "I don't feel particularly great, it was a tough day. They looked like a team who had worked all week on us and we looked like a team that had a really tough game on Thursday night. It was a great day for Sunderland and an awful day for us. “We couldn’t match them. They had an energy level above us. In the end, a couple of good saves from their goalie and a couple of wonder strikes, have made a horrible result for us. "You’re looking at the team, and you just know that ain’t our team. We looked tired in the mind and tired in the body. I’m not making excuses for me or the team, but I don’t think you needed to be a professional to know that one team looked really fresh, and one didn’t. “We still had a big chance in that game. If the linesman had given that (Papiss Cisse) goal suddenly a goal can do wondrous things to your energy levels. “Three or four players ... you have to (ask) whether they could play that game. Mapou (Yanga-Mbwia) and (Yohan) Cabaye, in particular, looked really tired. You don’t really know until you get out there. "I think they (the derby debutants) got it but if you’re not at your full battery levels, it’s difficult to put that out of the pitch. Sometimes your levels are such that you just can’t match the opposition. "That was a tough decision (not to start with left back Massadio Haidara). He is a young boy and I wanted to play a bit of experience, people who I I think know the game and with hindsight, perhaps I should have played him. I didn’t think he could get through that after Thursday’s match, his first game back, also get the intensity of it. “Maybe if Tim (Krul) hadn’t got injured at that crucial point, it could have been 1-1, and we could have had an extra sub with extra energy. We could have brought on an extra offensive or defensive player, or whatever we needed. That got taken away. It was a game that really didn’t work out for us. "I will make sure it hurts the players. We've got to do some work with the team. There's no Europa League left and we need to make sure we get our shape right and get ourselves disciplined and try to win games. "This (result) won't leave me because it's our home and we don't want to get beaten by our rivals." He's not making excuses about tiredness though. That is insane Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Hey, Ketsy's articles gonna be mint now. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I doubt I could finish an article on Pardew without the page being covered in my own blood and faeces. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tachikoma Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 In fairness, Souness would have beaten Pardew easily if he had gotten 132 games ... how the fuck has that man managed us for nearly 4 seasons now? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 One of my favourite bits of Pardaganda... "I don't feel particularly great, it was a tough day. They looked like a team who had worked all week on us and we looked like a team that had a really tough game on Thursday night. It was a great day for Sunderland and an awful day for us. “We couldn’t match them. They had an energy level above us. In the end, a couple of good saves from their goalie and a couple of wonder strikes, have made a horrible result for us. "You’re looking at the team, and you just know that ain’t our team. We looked tired in the mind and tired in the body. I’m not making excuses for me or the team, but I don’t think you needed to be a professional to know that one team looked really fresh, and one didn’t. “We still had a big chance in that game. If the linesman had given that (Papiss Cisse) goal suddenly a goal can do wondrous things to your energy levels. “Three or four players ... you have to (ask) whether they could play that game. Mapou (Yanga-Mbwia) and (Yohan) Cabaye, in particular, looked really tired. You don’t really know until you get out there. "I think they (the derby debutants) got it but if you’re not at your full battery levels, it’s difficult to put that out of the pitch. Sometimes your levels are such that you just can’t match the opposition. "That was a tough decision (not to start with left back Massadio Haidara). He is a young boy and I wanted to play a bit of experience, people who I I think know the game and with hindsight, perhaps I should have played him. I didn’t think he could get through that after Thursday’s match, his first game back, also get the intensity of it. “Maybe if Tim (Krul) hadn’t got injured at that crucial point, it could have been 1-1, and we could have had an extra sub with extra energy. We could have brought on an extra offensive or defensive player, or whatever we needed. That got taken away. It was a game that really didn’t work out for us. "I will make sure it hurts the players. We've got to do some work with the team. There's no Europa League left and we need to make sure we get our shape right and get ourselves disciplined and try to win games. "This (result) won't leave me because it's our home and we don't want to get beaten by our rivals." He's not making excuses about tiredness though. That is just plain horrible. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRon Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 In a feat revered as 'Tchoyi Story 3' by Baggies fans (referencing the film Toy Story 3) he scored a hat-trick against Newcastle United at St. James' Park on the last day of the 2010–11 season, rescuing a point after being down 3–0 early into the second half. Grim. Tchoi story 3 It's almost worth having the twat as manager for that headline alone! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 The thing is though, in order to perfectly encapsulate just how much of an exacting and specific failure, liar, hypocrite and down-right cheeky cunt he is, you have to right an article. Whenever I type any post about him I feel like I've ended up describing some nebulous breeze, when in actual fact everything about him is exact, precise and relentless in its absolute shitness and cuntery. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 He's a right fucking daft cunt like. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaylorJ_01 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 He's a right f***ing daft c*** like. *write Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRon Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 He's a right fucking daft cunt like. Any article on pardew should probably have that sentence in it somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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