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Predictions Thread 2016/17


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This may be slightly early, but fuck it, i'm bored and the season starts in three weeks.

 

Premiership

Winners:

Runners Up:

3rd-6th:

Relegation:

Overachievers:

Underperformers:

Top Goal Scorer:

Break Out Year:

Season to Forget:

PFA Player of the Year:

PFA Young Player of the Year:

Manager of the Year:

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent':

 

Championship

Winners:

Runners Up:

3rd-6th:

Relegation:

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?:

Top Goalscorer?:

How will we do in the cup competitions?:

 

Domestic

League One Promotion:

League One Relegation:

League Two Promotion:

League Two Relegation:

 

FA Cup:

League Cup:

EFL Trophy:

 

Europe

La Liga winner:

Serie A winner:

Bundesliga winner:

Champions League winner:

Europa League winner:

World Player of the Year:

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League:

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when:

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season:

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Premiership

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs

Relegation: Swansea, Hull, Burnley (I want to put Sunderland in there but we all know how lucky they are, also I think Swansea could easily be swapped for WBA)

Overachievers: Possibly Boro

Underperformers: Swansea, WBA, and Leicester will all make claims

Top Goal Scorer: No idea

Break Out Year: No Idea

Season to Forget: No idea

PFA Player of the Year: No idea

PFA Young Player of the Year: No Idea

Manager of the Year: Conte

First manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pulis, (not including Fat Sam if he goes before a ball has been kicked for the England job)

 

Championship

Winners: I don't want to jinx it.

Runners Up: Derby

3rd-6th: Norwich, Brighton, Sheffield Wednesday, Villa (in any order, also Brentford will be in and around the play offs)

Relegation: Burton, Rotherham, Bristol City (could swap either for Preston)

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: See Championship winners.

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 3rd round League cup, 3rd round FA Cup, u21's to reach the quarter finals of the JPT or whatever it is called now. (I think we'll have a long season and it all depends on the luck of draw and as soon as we come up against Premiership sides we'll be the underdogs.)

How will we do in the derby games?: We won't have any unless we play them in cups.

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Scunthorpe, Sheffield United, Millwall

League One Relegation: Oxford, Shrewsbury, Chesterfield, Northampton

League Two Promotion: Plymouth, Portsmouth, Doncaster, Cambridge

League Two Relegation: Newport, Exeter

 

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Man City

EFL Trophy: One of the under 21's teams

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: PSG

World Player of the Year: Pick of Ronaldo or Messi, though Bale and Griezmann will both have good seasons.

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: Survive, just.

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Yes, December/January time.

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: He'll score a goal and with the celebration of shooting with his fingers he does an opposition player will go down as though he's been shot and Mitrovic will be the first player to be sent off for shooting an opponent in a game of football.

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Premiership

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man U

3rd-6th: Man City, Liverpool, Arsenal, Tottenham

Relegation: Hull, Burnley, WBA

Overachievers: Everton

Underperformers: Southampton/Leicester

Top Goal Scorer: Out of the current options, Aguero.

Break Out Year: no idea

Season to Forget: no idea

PFA Player of the Year: Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: no idea

Manager of the Year: Conte

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pardew or Pulis

 

Championship

Winners: Us

Runners Up: Derby

3rd-6th: Norwich, Villa, Sheff Wed, Leeds

Relegation: Burton, Rotherham, Barnsley

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: Top

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Early exits in both

How will we do in the derby games?: n/a

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Charlton, Milwall, MK Dons

League One Relegation: Oxford, Northampton, Oldham, Southend

League Two Promotion: Doncaster, Cambridge, Wycombe, Portsmouth

League Two Relegation: Newport, Barnet

 

FA Cup: Liverpool

League Cup: Tottenham

EFL Trophy: no idea

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Athletico

Europa League winner: Man U

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: Anywhere between 13-17th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Yes, around January

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: he wont.

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Premiership

Winners: Man City

Runners Up: Man Utd

3rd-6th: Chelsea,Arsenal,Spurs, Liverpool

Relegation: Burnley, Hull, West Brom

Overachievers: Middlesbrough

Underperformers: Bournemouth

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Pierre Emile Hojberg

Season to Forget:  Odion Ighalo, Vincent Janssen

PFA Player of the Year: Kevin de Bruyne

PFA Young Player of the Year: Anthony Martial

Manager of the Year: Pep Guardiola

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Steve Bruce

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Derby County

3rd-6th: Norwich, Sheffield Wednesday, Brighton, Wolves

Relegation: Rotherham, Burton, Barnsley

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Dwight Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 3rd round of Carling Cup, 3rd round of FA Cup

How will we do in the derby games?: We always lose to Derby so probably 0 points

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Sheffield United, Bolton, MK Dons

League One Relegation: Bury, Port Vale, Northampton

League Two Promotion: Doncaster, Plymouth, Portsmouth, Colchester

League Two Relegation: Cheltenham, Yeovil

 

FA Cup: Man Utd

League Cup: Chelsea

EFL Trophy: Sheffield United

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Man Utd

World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: Between 12th and 16th, with no real danger of relegation

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: No

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Squares up to Nigel Pearson when we play Derby

 

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Premiership

Winners: Man City

Runners Up: Man United

3rd-6th: Chelsea, Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool

Relegation: Swansea, Burnley and Hull.

Overachievers: Boro in 12th or 13th maybe?

Underperformers: Swansea

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Iheanacho (?) , Lewis Cook and Dem Gray

Season to Forget: Rooney, Sturridge, Janssen

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero/Hazard

PFA Young Player of the Year: Iheanacho

Manager of the Year: Guardiola

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Steve Bruce (Guidolin now Bruce has gone :smug:)

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Brighton

3rd-6th: Norwich, Derby, Villa, Wolves

Relegation: Burton, Barnsley, Rotherham

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: League Cup 4th round, FA Cup 5th round

 

FA Cup: Spurs

League Cup: Chelsea

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Juventus

Europa League winner: CL dropout

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo (Ballon D'or), Messi player of the season

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: Lower mid table, above th mackems

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Nope

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: No red card, just a load of yellows.

 

Probably end up changing this a canny bit before the season starts :lol:

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Premiership

Winners: Man Utd

Runners Up: Chelsea

3rd-6th: Man City, Arsenal, Spurs, liverpool

Relegation: Sunderland, Burnley, Hull

Overachievers: Everton

Underperformers: Southampton

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: iheanacho

Season to Forget: Jamie Vardy

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: iheanacho

Manager of the Year: Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Steve Bruce

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Nottingham Forest

3rd-6th: Derby, Norwich, Leeds, Sheff Wed

Relegation: Rotherham, Burton, Bristol City

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: winner

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: league cup (semi) fa cup (5th round)

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Sheffield utd, millwall, Charlton

League One Relegation: Southend, Fleetwood, Oxford, Bury

League Two Promotion: Plymouth, Portsmouth, Wycombe

League Two Relegation: Blackpool, Mansfield

 

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Liverpool

EFL Trophy: U21 team

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner:

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: survive relegation by 5-6 points

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: yes, January

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: over celebrating bringing a 2nd yellow

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Premiership

Winners: Manchester City

Runners Up: Manchester United

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Burnley, Sunderland, Crystal Palace

Overachievers: Middlesbrough

Underperformers: West Ham

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Mohamed Elneny

Season to Forget: Zlatan Ibrahimovic

PFA Player of the Year: David Silva

PFA Young Player of the Year: Anthony Martial

Manager of the Year: Pep Guardiola

First manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Fat Sam

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle United

Runners Up: Derby County

3rd-6th: Brighton & Hove, Aston Villa, Nottingham Forest, Norwich City

Relegation: Rotherham, Burton Albion, Barnsley

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Aleksandr Mitrovic

How will we do in the cup competitions?: FA Cup 4th round, League Cup 4th round

 

Domestic :yao:

League One Promotion:

League One Relegation:

League Two Promotion:

League Two Relegation:

 

FA Cup: Liverpool

League Cup: Manchester City

EFL Trophy: Shrewsbury Town lion

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Real Madrid

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Napoli

World Player of the Year: Cristiano Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: ~9th/10th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Yes. Before Christmas.

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Slapping someone with his cleat

 

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Premiership

Winners: Manchester City

Runners Up: Tottenham

3rd-6th: Manchester United, Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea.

Relegation:Burnley, Watford, West Brom.

Overachievers: Swansea.

Underperformers: Leicester.

Top Goal Scorer: Kane.

Break Out Year: Iheanacho.

Season to Forget: Vardy.

PFA Player of the Year: Mkhitaryan.

PFA Young Player of the Year: Alli.

Manager of the Year: Guardiola.

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent':

Pulis.

Championship

Winners: Newcastle United.

Runners Up: Brighton.

3rd-6th: Norwich, Aston Villa, Derby, Cardiff.

Relegation:Rotherham, Burton, Barnsley.

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st.

Top Goalscorer?: Mitrovic.

How will we do in the cup competitions?: League Cup Winners; FA Cup 6th round. 

 

Domestic

League One Promotion:Walsall, Millwall, Northampton.

League One Relegation: Chesterfield, Oxford United, Fleetwood.

League Two Promotion: Accrington Stanley, Portsmouth, Plymouth. 

League Two Relegation: Morecambe, Stevenage, Grimsby.

 

 

FA Cup: Manchester United.

League Cup: NUFC.

EFL Trophy: dk.

 

Europe

La Liga winner:Atletico Madrid.

Serie A winner:Napoli

Bundesliga winner:Bayern Munich

Champions League winner: Manchester City

Europa League winner: Athletic Bilbao

World Player of the Year: Luis Suarez

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: 14th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: no.

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Bending Daniel Ayala over, and simulating humping him (most inappropriately  :o). 

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Premiership

Winners: Man City

Runners Up: Man Utd

3rd-7th: Leicester, Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea, Tottenham

Relegation: Sunderland, Burnley, Hull

Overachievers: Middlesbrough

Underperformers: Tottenham

Top Goal Scorer: Vardy

Break Out Year: Troydini

Season to Forget: Aguero

PFA Player of the Year: Vardy

PFA Young Player of the Year: Alli

Manager of the Year: Ranieri

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Fat Sam

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Brighton & Hove

3rd-6th: Norwich, Derby, Aston Villa, Leeds

Relegation: Preston, Roterham, Barnsley

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Mitro with 32

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Semis in LC, 4th round in FA

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Coventry, Bradford, AFC Wimbledon

League One Relegation: Fleetwood, Walsall, Bury, Northampton

League Two Promotion: Plymouth, Portsmouth, Yeovil, Cambridge

League Two Relegation: Accrington, Wycome

 

FA Cup: Man Utd

League Cup: Tottenham

EFL Trophy: Newcastle u21s

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Real Madrid

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Dortmund

Champions League winner: Real Madrid

Europa League winner: Sevilla

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: 11th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: He won't.

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Second yellow for celebrating without a shirt.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Premiership

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: Hull, Swansea, Bournemouth

Overachievers: Burnley (10th)

Underperformers: Leicester (12th)

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero (24)

Break Out Year:

Season to Forget: Dele Ali

PFA Player of the Year: Kante

PFA Young Player of the Year: Kane

Manager of the Year: Conte

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Swansea Manager

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Brighton

3rd-6th: Norwich, Leeds, Rotherham, Derby

Relegation: Brentford, Burton, Fulham

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 3rd Round in both competitions.

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: ----

League One Relegation:----

League Two Promotion: ------

League Two Relegation: ------

 

FA Cup: Liverpool

League Cup: Chelsea

EFL Trophy: Swansea reserves.

 

Europe

La Liga winner: A.Madrid

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Dortmund

Champions League winner: Juventus

Europa League winner: Sevilla

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: 16th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Yes, January

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Drop kick the refs face.

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Premiership

Winners: Man Utd

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Spurs, Chelsea, Arsenal, West Ham

Relegation: Burnley, Sunderland, Hull

Overachievers: Everton (if they can be classed as that)

Underperformers: Southampton

Top Goal Scorer: Kane

Break Out Year: Holding or Marcus Edwards

Season to Forget: Mahrez

PFA Player of the Year: Kane

PFA Young Player of the Year: Alli

Manager of the Year: Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pulis

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Norwich

3rd-6th: Brighton, Sheff Wed, Derby, Villa

Relegation: Barnsley, Burton, Preston

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: shit

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Sheff Utd, Scunthorpe, Milwall

League One Relegation: no idea

League Two Promotion: Doncaster, Portstmouth, no idea

League Two Relegation: no idea

 

FA Cup: Man City

League Cup: Man City

EFL Trophy: ?

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus by a mile

Bundesliga winner: Dortmund. Front 4 look tasty

Champions League winner: Juventus

Europa League winner: Sevilla no doubt

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo this year, unfortunately.

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: flirt with relegation until about Feb, then be comfortable

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: won’t be

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: pissing on the goalpost

 

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Premiership

Winners: Manchester United

Runners Up: Manchester City

3rd-6th: Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool

Relegation: Burnley, Hull, Swansea

Overachievers: Bournemouth

Underperformers: Southampton

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Duncan Watmore, Joe Gomez, Matt Miagza

Season to Forget: Diego Costa, Abel Hernandez, Zlatan, Gundogan

PFA Player of the Year: Rooney

PFA Young Player of the Year: John Stones

Manager of the Year: Mou

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pards

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Brighton

3rd-6th: Derby, Norwich, Ipswich, Villa

Relegation: Rotherham, Barnsley, Wolves

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle with 18

How will we do in the cup competitions?: League Cup 5th round, FA cup 5th round

 

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Everton

EFL Trophy: Don't even know who's in it. Boro U21s?

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juve

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Juve

Europa League winner: Sevilla

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: 16th. Negredo will bag a dozen

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: 8 or 9 games in, having gained just 2 points

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Being a cunt

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Premiership

Winners: Man city

Runners Up: Chelsea

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham

Relegation: West Brom, Watford, Hull city

Overachievers: Boro  :lol:

Underperformers: Leicester, Spurs, West Ham, Southampton

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year: Rob Holding, Harry Winks

Season to Forget: Harry Kane, Rooney

PFA Player of the Year: Kante

PFA Young Player of the Year: Martial

Manager of the Year: Karanka

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pulis

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle United

Runners Up: Villa

3rd-6th: Norwich, Brighton, Derby, QPR

Relegation: Leeds, Rotherham, Burton

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st  :frantic:

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle, Mitro, Aoyze  (all with 16 goals)

 

How will we do in the cup competitions?: League Cup- 2nd round

FA Cup- Winnners (being deadly serious..….. Rafa is the man)

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Sheffield United, Mk Dons, Bolton

League One Relegation: Bury, Southend, Oldham, Chesterfield

League Two Promotion: Portsmouth, Plymouth, Leyton Orient,  Notts County

League Two Relegation: Morecambe,Hartlepool

 

FA Cup: us

League Cup: Chelsea

EFL Trophy: conventry

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Real madrid

Serie A winner: Roma

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner:Bayern

Europa League winner: Man Utd

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: very well top 8

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: no he won't get sacked

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: bearing his cock to  a female linesman

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Premiership

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Arsenal

3rd-6th: manure city Liverpool Spurs

Relegation: hull burnley west brom

Overachievers: boro

Underperformers: Everton

Top Goal Scorer: lukaku if he goes to Chelsea

Break Out Year: ihenacho

Season to Forget: ibrahimovic

PFA Player of the Year: kante

PFA Young Player of the Year: rashford

Manager of the Year:conte

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Watfords manager

 

Championship

Winners: NUFC

Runners Up: Derby

3rd-6th: Brighton Norwich villa leeds

Relegation: burton Preston Rotherham

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?:

 

Fa cup 4th round

League cup QF

 

 

FA Cup: Arsenal

League Cup: Arsenal

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: juventus

Europa League winner:

World Player of the Year:

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: decent about 11th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: no

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season:

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Premiership

Winners: Man Utd

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs.

Relegation: Swansea Watford Hull

Overachievers: Burnley

Underperformers: Leicester

Top Goal Scorer: Rooney

Break Out Year: Lewis Cook, Mason Holgate, Joe Gomez, Andre Gray,

Season to Forget: Sterling, Costa,

PFA Player of the Year: Rooney

PFA Young Player of the Year: Kane

Manager of the Year: Mourinho

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent':

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Norwich

3rd-6th: Brighton, Villa, Wolves, Derby

Relegation: Huddersfield, Rotherham, Burton

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Mitro 18

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 5th round in both.

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: MK Dons, Millwall, Charlton

League One Relegation: Oldham, Fleetwood, Wimbledon, Shrewsbury

League Two Promotion: Portsmouth, Plymouth, Notts County, Leyton Orient

League Two Relegation: Morecambe, Newport

 

FA Cup: Spurs

League Cup: Arsenal

EFL Trophy: Chelsea u21

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barca

Serie A winner: Juve

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Barca

Europa League winner: Sevilla

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: 15th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: December

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season:Headbutt

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Premiership

Winners: City

Runners Up: Chelsea

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool

Relegation: Swansea Burnley Hull

Overachievers: Bournemouth

Underperformers: Swansea

Top Goal Scorer: Aguero

Break Out Year:

Season to Forget: Rooney

PFA Player of the Year: Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Kane

Manager of the Year: Guardiola

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Francesco Guidolin

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Norwich

3rd-6th: Brighton, Derby, Sheffield Wednesday, Villa

Relegation: Burton Wigan Huddersfield

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: 1st

Top Goalscorer?: Ritchie

How will we do in the cup competitions?: As its newcastle united awfully

 

Domestic

League One Promotion:

League One Relegation:

League Two Promotion:

League Two Relegation:

 

FA Cup: Man Utd

League Cup: Chelsea

EFL Trophy: Chelsea

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juve

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Bayern, its their turn.

Europa League winner: Man Utd

World Player of the Year: Ronaldo

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: 17th

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Nah

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: for suplexing an opposition goalkeeper.

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Premiership

Winners: Manchester City

Runners Up: Man Utd

3rd-6th: Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham, Liverpool

Relegation: Middlesbrough, Bournemouth, Hull City

Overachievers: Burnley, Watford?

Underperformers: Palace, Swansea, Leicester (compared to last season obviously), West Ham knackered by their new stadium and European football

Top Goal Scorer: Sergio Aguero

Break Out Year: Ahmed Musa, Andre Gray, Nathan Redmond, Demarai Gray, Sofiane Feghouli (if that counts), Max Gradel

Season to Forget: Georginio Wijnaldum, Juan Mata, Daley Blind, Nemanja Matic, Per Mertesacker

PFA Player of the Year: Sergio Aguero

PFA Young Player of the Year: Anthony Martial

Manager of the Year: Pep Guardiola (f**k you Jose!)

First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pulis, Guidolin, Pards

 

Championship

Winners: Newcastle

Runners Up: Brighton

3rd-6th: Norwich (P), Derby, Ipswich, Sheff Weds

Relegation: Huddersfield, Barnsley, Burton Albion

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: First by miles, winning every game and not conceding a goal winning every game except one and only conceding one goal

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: Meh

 

Domestic

 

FA Cup: Man City

League Cup: Arsenal

EFL Trophy: Not a clue

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich (piece of piss these three)

Champions League winner: Bayern Munich

Europa League winner: Either Sevilla or not Sevilla

World Player of the Year: Cristiano Ronaldo, undeservedly.

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: Either narrowly avoid or narrowly fail to avoid relegation

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Either over winter or after the end of the season

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: Jumping into the crowd with his shirt off (he'll get away with all his usual violence)

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  • 11 months later...

Premiership

Winners: Chelsea

Runners Up: Man City

3rd-6th: Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs

Relegation: Swansea, Hull, Burnley (I want to put Sunderland in there but we all know how lucky they are, also I think Swansea could easily be swapped for WBA)

Overachievers: Possibly Boro

Underperformers: Swansea, WBA, and Leicester will all make claims

Top Goal Scorer: No idea

Break Out Year: No Idea

Season to Forget: No idea

PFA Player of the Year: No idea

PFA Young Player of the Year: No Idea

Manager of the Year: Conte

First manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Pulis, (not including Fat Sam if he goes before a ball has been kicked for the England job)

 

Championship

Winners: I don't want to jinx it.

Runners Up: Derby

3rd-6th: Norwich, Brighton, Sheffield Wednesday, Villa (in any order, also Brentford will be in and around the play offs)

Relegation: Burton, Rotherham, Bristol City (could swap either for Preston)

 

Newcastle United

Where will we finish?: See Championship winners.

Top Goalscorer?: Gayle

How will we do in the cup competitions?: 3rd round League cup, 3rd round FA Cup, u21's to reach the quarter finals of the JPT or whatever it is called now. (I think we'll have a long season and it all depends on the luck of draw and as soon as we come up against Premiership sides we'll be the underdogs.)

How will we do in the derby games?: We won't have any unless we play them in cups.

 

Domestic

League One Promotion: Scunthorpe, Sheffield United, Millwall

League One Relegation: Oxford, Shrewsbury, Chesterfield, Northampton

League Two Promotion: Plymouth, Portsmouth, Doncaster, Cambridge

League Two Relegation: Newport, Exeter

 

FA Cup: Chelsea

League Cup: Man City

EFL Trophy: One of the under 21's teams

 

Europe

La Liga winner: Barcelona

Serie A winner: Juventus

Bundesliga winner: Bayern

Champions League winner: Barcelona

Europa League winner: PSG

World Player of the Year: Pick of Ronaldo or Messi, though Bale and Griezmann will both have good seasons.

 

Other:

How will Middlesbrough do in their first season back in the Premier League: Survive, just.

Will Alan Pardew get sacked as manager of Crystal Palace, if so, when: Yes, December/January time.

Why will Mitrovic get sent of this season: He'll score a goal and with the celebration of shooting with his fingers he does an opposition player will go down as though he's been shot and Mitrovic will be the first player to be sent off for shooting an opponent in a game of football.

Not a bad try if I'm honest.
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