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Newcastle United vs. Aston Villa: 12/08/23 @ 17:30 (Sky Sports)


HaydnNUFC

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Fights break out all around the ground, starting when Jemima from Jesmond who usually sits in the Platinum Club lets out a blood curdling scream as she spots the dead pigeon above her head from her allocated seat in the Gallowgate.

 

Her scream frightens the life out of 82 year old Geoffrey from Gosforth who for 60 years has been to a few games per season and enjoyed the silence of the East Stand, he spills his hot Bovril all over the shaved head of Barry from Benwell who’s been hoovering ching all day and has skulled 12 pre match pints in a seedy city centre boozer. 
 

Barry starts to kick fuck out of Geoffrey, so Geoffrey’s wife Gertrude who has been allocated a seat in the Leazes, steams down the full length of the pitch to save him, swinging her handbag like a medieval weapon.

 

Chaos ensues. 

 

The match is called off. 

 

 

Edited by bobbydazzla

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6 minutes ago, bobbydazzla said:

Fights break out all around the ground, starting when Jemima from Jesmond who usually sits in the Platinum Club lets out a blood curdling scream as she spots the dead pigeon above her head from her allocated seat in the Gallowgate.

 

Her scream frightens the life out of 82 year old Geoffrey from Gosforth who for 60 years has been to a few games per season and enjoyed the silence of the East Stand, he spills his hot Bovril all over the shaved head of Barry from Benwell who’s been hoovering ching all day and has skulled 12 pre match pints in a seedy city centre boozer. 
 

Barry starts to kick fuck out of Geoffrey, so Geoffrey’s wife Gertrude who has been allocated a seat in the Leazes, steams down the full length of the pitch to save him, swinging her handbag like a medieval weapon.

 

Chaos ensues. 

 

The match is called off. 

 

 

 


Because of the rain?

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8 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said:


Because of the rain?


Because The Premier League make a mid game announcement that any club who have worn black and white stripes and have a fan called Gertrude are no longer eligible to ever play in the top flight ever again 

 

 

Edited by bobbydazzla

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4 minutes ago, bobbydazzla said:


Because The Premier League make a mid game announcement that any club who have worn black and white stripes and have a fan called Gertrude are no longer eligible to ever play in the top flight ever again 

 

 

 


Gertrude Bell. Born 1868 died 1926. Interesting isn’t it, that stuff about her helping map out the Middle East. 

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5 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said:


Gertrude Bell. Born 1868 died 1926. Interesting isn’t it, that stuff about her helping map out the Middle East. 


The original Durham Mag

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Will be a tough game this.  They were really good at their place last season and for the first time all season, we looked totally undone. They finished the season strongly and have signed good players.

However, first game of the season and we have a lot to be excited about.  We will need our defensive solidarity to return for this one, a quick start and a very strong performance and I think we will deliver it. 
 

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I am still worried about our "slowish" defence against this lot. last season they tore us a new hole by having quick transitions down the wings and with direct over the top balls. Tripps and Schar´s pace were really exposed.

Add Diaby into the mix and they have a very quick front four...

 

Still, if we get the first goal I think we will gather momentum and smash them "a la spurs"

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1 hour ago, buzza said:

I am still worried about our "slowish" defence against this lot. last season they tore us a new hole by having quick transitions down the wings and with direct over the top balls. Tripps and Schar´s pace were really exposed.

Add Diaby into the mix and they have a very quick front four...

 

Still, if we get the first goal I think we will gather momentum and smash them "a la spurs"


Feel like it might have a moment or two of watching through your fingers but we’ll dig out a win at home. Winner coming off the bench.

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That game at Villa park was such an abnormally in both our seasons  though, Villa peaked that day and only won 3 out the last 7 league games after that, it was just one of them daft games where everything they did worked and we were so far below our usual standards. They are a good team no doubt but if we are looking to compete for the top 4 again you should be expecting to beat Villa at home.

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Eddie Howe and/or Jason Tindall getting a red card in this game for sure. I'm putting a bet on it ASAP.

 

Not allowed more than 1 coach in the technical area anymore and there's some stupid rule about who can stand up in the dugout. Definitely going to cause some issues for alot of coaching staff this season.

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16 hours ago, Toon No9 said:

2-1, early goal by Isak, Diaby equalizer and a winning goal from sub Anderson in the last 10 mins.

 

Pope

 

Trippier

Schar

Botman

Burn

 

Tonali

Bruno

Big Joe

 

Almiron

Isak

Barnes

 

Gordon starts over Barnes I reckon. 

 

Barnes wont have had enough training time and Gordon needs to be playing whilst his confidence is rocketing and he's playing out his skin.

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Villa are a really good team but if we have hopes of top 5-6 again then we should be looking at beating them.

 

Whatever happens this game I think we'll finish ahead of them. 

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After current pre-season our midfield three would likliest be bruno, big joe and anderson.

Front three being miggy, gordon and Isak.

Quite a few to come off the bench also (barnes, tonali, calum, longstaff, murph, miley, target...)

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What I think the team will be:

 

                       Pope

 

Trippier    Schar     Botman     Burn

 

                      Bruno

          Tonali

                                  Joelinton

Miggy                                    Gordon

                       Isak

 

I think Anderson will be extremely unlucky not to start but Howes weight of trust in Joelinton will win over.

Had Longstaff not been injured during pre season, I think he would have started ahead of Tonali.

Gordon HAS to start, he's full of confidence and Barnes will have to wait his turn like everyone else.

 

The BIG difference, will be our bench. Chalk and cheese to previous Newcastle squads:

 

Dubravka 

Lascelles

Willock

Anderson

Longstaff 

Barnes

Wilson

Miley

Targett

Murphy 

 

To choose from. Lovely options.

 

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