Who in the media gets on your tits?

[ChezGiven]

We did Chez and he said Mr Motson was only staying for a few more days and it would be better not to upset him.

 

My mate did us no favours when he responded "Upset him? Upset him? I'll upset the bastard. Does he drink anything other than whiskey?"

 

The General Manager of the hotel said "I''m not sure Sir, I don't think so, why?"

 

Cue the next evening, after 11pm and Motty whaltzing in and asking for a treble with ice. "Sorry sir, we've got no whiskey this evening"

 

"Oh, you must have, got to another bar - one of them upstairs, or the restaurant please" says Motty in an agitated, whiney tone.

 

"No sir, we're sold out - theres none left in the entire hotel"

 

Cue us three smiling and waving to Johnny boy as he stomps our of the bar from behind a table full of Malt.

 

My mate (whose worth a few quid) got the GM to show him all of his whiskey earlier that night, saying he wanted to check which was most suited to his tastes. He then told the GM he wanted to buy it all, every bottle. There was about 16 in total.

 

He reckons its the best 1300euros he's ever spent.

 

[Robster]

Paul Merson looks like a bad tempered twat.

I cant work out his personality. Doesnt look easy to get along with when he is on Soccer Saturday.

 

How did Scott Minto worm his way onto Sky - how does he qualify as either an expert or a personality ??

[Stevie]

I forgot that cheeky scouse b****** Chris Bascombe, who tries to be a clever c*** with his jibes about geordies being fat EVERY time we play Liverpool.

 

Baywatch star's lettuce advice

 

 

Anderson is a long-term supporter of Peta

Actress Pamela Anderson has donned a lettuce leaf bikini to persuade fat Britons to become vegetarian.

The ex-Baywatch star launched the national campaign in Liverpool, which was recently named as one of the five fattest cities in the UK.

 

Anderson will appear on a billboard poster across the city, wearing just a few strategically-placed lettuce leaves.

 

The poster is also expected to go up in Glasgow, Edinburgh, Stoke-on-Trent and Wolverhampton, the other four "fat" cities.

 

Commissioned by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta), the poster's slogan reads: "Turn over a new leaf - try vegetarian", and gives the GoVeg website address.

 

Peta spokesman Sean Gifford said: "Pamela is a friend of the animals and a long-term vegetarian, so she was more than happy to help us with this campaign.

 

Sunday roasts are sending animals to abattoirs and Liverpudlians into intensive care

 

Sean Gifford, Peta 

"We hope she will appeal to the demographic of young men, who can be more resistant to vegetarianism.

 

"This is a tantalising image and we hope even the most die-hard carnivores may be tempted to go to the website and learn about what eating meat is doing to their bodies and to the animals who suffer.

 

"We want to get the message across that Sunday roasts are sending animals to abattoirs and Liverpudlians into intensive care."

 

The poster, which was put up in the Tuebrook area of Liverpool, received a warm reception from locals.

 

Joiner Matt Riley, 22, said: "Pammie's looking good but I'm not sure if she would turn me into a vegetarian.

 

"It might make me start having salad with my steak, though.

[La Parka]

Paul Merson looks like a bad tempered t***.

I cant work out his personality. Doesnt look easy to get along with when he is on Soccer Saturday.

 

How did Scott Minto worm his way onto Sky - how does he qualify as either an expert or a personality ??

 

Merson is hillarious. He gets things wrong all the time. Now Thompson is a cnut.

[Troll]

However, David "Manchester" Pleat will burn in hell.

 

I'd rather hear them being called "Manchester" than "United".

[OzzieMandias]

Alan Shearer

[Dave]

Freddy Shepherd.