Skeletor

Better than Williamson and Gouffran.

'We'll talk about the Tyne Wear derby in a minute...but first let's talk about Liverpool'

Woodman, Haidara, Williamson, Cabella, Armstrong, Riviere, Cisse.

Gouffran starts

Jack Alnwick looks like a homeless guy we've dragged off the street.

It's already 1 in 7. 1 in 8 after today.

Pardew could play 100 derbies and he'd never learn how to win them.

Even Sam Allardyce only works on defending one day per week.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/BlythSpartans.png No doubt.

I woke up forgetting this was on, now I feel depressed. Just advised a non-football loving friend to put his money on Sunderland.

Or like that Euro 2004 game between Sweden and Denmark where in the last minutes they stopped playing because both were ok with the draw.

Tomorrow's team: Colback Colback FistPumps Colback Dummett Colback Colback Colback Colback Gouffran Colback At least that's the game plan I've gathered from listening to Alan Pardew PhD. Intensity to the max (and then Gouffran because fuck us).

Shame. He was a nice lad at school so he doesn't deserve this.

He's class. Offer him what it takes to keep him. Oh wait sorry I forgot my place there for a minute. Let's cash in and be grateful for any money we receive for him.

Pardew is like religion. Leading the blind and the stupid.

It's our job squad.

'The Alnwicks'

Well Rob Lee is Jack Colback with goals so you can trust him.

We're beaten then.

Sad to say but I agree, he really does look shit. It's not even a case of playing under Pardew. His record at other clubs is nothing to be excited about either.

Draws are usually a sign of momentum swinging towards the team who've been losing derbies. There is a bit of a pattern over recent years of that happening. Since we have Pardew that won't happen so we'll lose.

Bye bye Other Guy.

Nah. Pardew will give every one a wave and they'll all swoon back into their seats.

Spurs get Sheffield Utd

He's no Jack Colback.