Wullie

He doesn't need your help to get inside Ashley's arse, he's been camped up there for years.

Dunno like, I still chuckle when I think of Sissoko's header.

I assumed Big Geordie was on rather than Pardew!

Prefer the one about Carl Cort and Ameobi but why are we still talking about Robson?

Do the club know Cabaye is a wreck and physically finished like Shepherd did Woodgate? Fair play to them then.

I notice there's quotes from Anita saying that he thought the players were all too wound up going into the game and trying too hard, which is exactly what I said last night. Take John Carver's fucking DVDs off him ffs.

Presumably he means for the lot.

"We kept passing it and they just kept kicking it from back to front. Our aim was to pass them off the pitch and we totally dominated." - Adam Johnson God how utterly embarrassing.

I think Martinez (or anyone worth considering) would not take the job with Kinnear as DOF so that question is not really answerable . Also I cannot believe anyone would disagree with your final sentence. Fair enough - I suppose the question isn't all that great. On the basis that there are lots of better managers out there than Pardew, it is reasonable to assume they would be doing better than him. I just can't work out by how much he is underperforming and where we should reasonably expect to be (caveated of course by the fact that we should be aiming to win stuff and shouldn't limit ourselves..). Taking the results in isolation on a spreadsheet, he's not doing a bad job this season. As a supporter, this result coupled with the cup performances/results have been a disgusting slap in the face. Personally I could never ever forgive him for last season's derby, now that he's doubled it up though I don't know how anybody could. Gullitt walked after dropping Shearer and losing a derby match 2-1 at home, and the press called his team sheet the equivalent of a suicide note. Yet Pardew loses two successive home derbies 3-0 on the bounce and yet the fans are still sympathetic. I'm flabbergasted tbh. We just seem to accept derby defeats with a shrug of the shoulders these days. I get your point, but we were doing a hell of a lot worse in terms of league position under Gullit so I am not sure it is comparable? We weren't last season after 0-3 and 0-6 and he still had far more fans than Gullit/Souness/Roeder/Allardyce ever had.

I think Martinez (or anyone worth considering) would not take the job with Kinnear as DOF so that question is not really answerable . Also I cannot believe anyone would disagree with your final sentence. Fair enough - I suppose the question isn't all that great. On the basis that there are lots of better managers out there than Pardew, it is reasonable to assume they would be doing better than him. I just can't work out by how much he is underperforming and where we should reasonably expect to be (caveated of course by the fact that we should be aiming to win stuff and shouldn't limit ourselves..). Taking the results in isolation on a spreadsheet, he's not doing a bad job this season. As a supporter, this result coupled with the cup performances/results have been a disgusting slap in the face. Personally I could never ever forgive him for last season's derby, now that he's doubled it up though I don't know how anybody could. Gullitt walked after dropping Shearer and losing a derby match 2-1 at home, and the press called his team sheet the equivalent of a suicide note. Yet Pardew loses two successive home derbies 3-0 on the bounce and yet the fans are still sympathetic. I'm flabbergasted tbh. We just seem to accept derby defeats with a shrug of the shoulders these days. Horse punching, pitch invading, season ticket hoying, full throated, stadium wide booing and negatory chanting aside like. If we lose the next two but beat Villa in 3 weeks time there'll be plenty of wankers at the ground asking him to wave at them and you know it.

I think Martinez (or anyone worth considering) would not take the job with Kinnear as DOF so that question is not really answerable . Also I cannot believe anyone would disagree with your final sentence. Fair enough - I suppose the question isn't all that great. On the basis that there are lots of better managers out there than Pardew, it is reasonable to assume they would be doing better than him. I just can't work out by how much he is underperforming and where we should reasonably expect to be (caveated of course by the fact that we should be aiming to win stuff and shouldn't limit ourselves..). Taking the results in isolation on a spreadsheet, he's not doing a bad job this season. As a supporter, this result coupled with the cup performances/results have been a disgusting slap in the face. Personally I could never ever forgive him for last season's derby, now that he's doubled it up though I don't know how anybody could. Only Sunderland and Fulham have lost more games against bottom half opponents. You've convinced me, he's shite.

He's the anti-Keegan in every possible way. Some people say that Keegan should have swallowed his pride and got on with the job for the good of the club - why, to become what Alan Pardew is? I'm so glad he walked, I respect him even more for it.

I think Martinez (or anyone worth considering) would not take the job with Kinnear as DOF so that question is not really answerable . Also I cannot believe anyone would disagree with your final sentence. Fair enough - I suppose the question isn't all that great. On the basis that there are lots of better managers out there than Pardew, it is reasonable to assume they would be doing better than him. I just can't work out by how much he is underperforming and where we should reasonably expect to be (caveated of course by the fact that we should be aiming to win stuff and shouldn't limit ourselves..). Taking the results in isolation on a spreadsheet, he's not doing a bad job this season. As a supporter, this result coupled with the cup performances/results have been a disgusting slap in the face. Personally I could never ever forgive him for last season's derby, now that he's doubled it up though I don't know how anybody could.

Good to see you back, man.

Fuck's sake, more bad news.

Here's my view of why he's so hopeless in derbies. Pardew's problem in derby games is that he doesn't understand them at all. He played for and managed a succession of London teams that don't have derbies (Brighton - Crystal Palace doesn't count) - the only real derby he's had before he rocked up here was an FA Cup arse-kicking at home to Portsmouth when he was at Southampton. In his attempts to "understand what it means", he tries to overcompensate and subscribes to the sort of idiotic thinking that is always wheeled out in cliches before derby games - "the form book goes out the window", "it's all about pride", all this bollocks, and he drags the game down to its basest level. Long balls, go in hard, win ugly but just win. The problem with this approach is that those cliches are wheeled out by the losers. I've seen Newcastle win a lot of derbies and the ones that have been the most comfortable have never been hard fought, or a matter of us "wanting it more" - they've been us turning up, breezing through it like we're having a wander round Tesco, beating them and fucking off home. 5-1 was fantastic but think of 2-0 under Keegan (Owen brace) and Robson (Bellamy and Shearer) as two of the easiest games I have ever seen Newcastle play. If you treat the game any differently to any other, that's when you come unstuck. Teams that are shit tend to treat it differently, they try and drag the game down and try not to let a game of football break out - that's what the mackems did for years, unfortunately it tends to have the reverse effect because they race round more, leave ridiculous amounts of space, end up with ten men and get beat every time. That is now us. There's been loads of comments on here in the last 24 hours about the mackems "wanting it more" - really? Ki was playing with his fucking slippers on, he never broke sweat. I never saw any evidence of that whatsoever. It's just an easy cliche for a dire performance. Have Spurs got a poorer record over the last 20 years against any teams other than Arsenal or Chelsea? Even since they've been good, they still generally turn up at the Emirates and get absolutely humiliated. Have Everton won less points against anyone than they have against Liverpool? Even this season, when they go to Arsenal and play them off the park, they still got battered at Anfield. The cliches and "passion" waffle simply aren't true and never have been. The better team will win derbies far more often than statistics would suggest they should because the other team is trying too hard. This is where Pardew falls flat on his face. His meticulous preparation goes out the window in the run up to derbies. Instead he has John Carver showing the players DVDs of old derbies, trying to get them psyched up, trying to get them thinking like they're about to go to war. Hardly surprising that Santon and Anita started throwing themselves into tackles that they would never normally make. The mackems went through a succession of derby red cards because they got themselves in such a ridiculous psyched state beforehand - think of Cattermole shitting himself in the tunnel on Halloween (next to Kevin Nolan looking as if he's about to take a stroll with the dog) before going through the back of Tiote within the first minute. There's absolutely no way Suarez and Ozil are watching old derby DVDs before they wander out and humiliate the locals again by being better at football. I would bet my life that those games are treated exactly the same as a game against a big side - of vital importance to win, but not to be played in a different way. Our players simply aren't the type that can by psyched up into a frenzy that will allow them to outfight the opposition, instead they just look dazed and confused and stop even doing the things they are good at, instead they give away daft free kicks, belt it long and end up permanently out of position. We're going into these games thinking like an underdog and ultimately looking like one. Pardew made a comment last week of "the performance doesn't matter, only the result" - he couldn't be more staggeringly wrong. That is something that can only be judged after the fact. The performance is everything and the result will generally take care of itself.

I think his attempts at motivation are the problem tbh.

Give Shola a new deal too in case we buy someone worse.

Ok, we'll stick with what we've got.

The original poster said "if it would ensure a change of ownership". And even Ashley would attempt promotion.

What about them? The season is indeed about more than any game. It's about trying to come as high as possible and win things. We don't.

What hyperbole? Two consecutive home spankings off the mackems with many more to come, playing for nothing year on year? Forest try to get promoted every year. That's better than what we've got now. That recent news story about France possibly playing in qualifiers for nothing, whilst everyone else plays to come higher in the group? That's us. I get absolutely nothing out of watching this Newcastle side play for the sole purpose of earning Mike Ashley more and more money.

I'd take my chances. Relegation's the only way we'll avoid getting hammered off them cunts on a regular basis for a start.

I've said a few times that I don't know what the fuck Swansea are doing sending him out on loan.

Like we've got any chance whatsoever of finishing 8th. That particular dream is over.