BottledDog

Check the false smiles on NUFCTV. No doubt dreampt of Olympic glory as a young pup, sitting by the Arga in his mams kitchen down down-town Dakar. He wants out and the way we are run, who could blame him. It's why we are after Carroll.

Yup, need to sort that contract out asap.

Despite a goal from (the 'soon to be departing') Ba, after one and a half pre-season games it is now all too clear we are hovering dangerously between an 8 and a 9.

That does indeed sound like quite a bamboozling situation you have found yourself in. Hope it all works out in the end.

Er... Why?

I tell you what's really sickening - your use of the apostrophe. Nah, I'm not that bothered really. You may not be, but I fuggin' am. Apologies all round folks.

Sickening that our ground is being littered with logo's from the crooks and spivs at the IOC. Sports Direct are a far less offensive brand.

Nah he's not a bad player, he's just not a good player. Nah he's a good player, capable of being a great player. /Beyond the bonus hilarity, I'd be very happy to see him return. A beast on his day.

Pardew? Aye.

Pardew saying the standard of the opposition in our next 2 games comes a little too early into our pre-season, and there is every likelihood we will get royally bummed.

"People talk, but what I can say is that none of the teams that have been talked about have approached me. I’m still a Newcastle United player." ...for now. Sounds lika a come and get me plea.

If anyone needs my place on the Stream to catch all the latest sausage action.... I'm switching it off....... NOW!

It is the spikes that bring the gravitas, the will and the edge that holds the whole ensemble together. Without them, the shirt (and ultimately, the team) would simply fall apart. I like 'em!

Danny Simpson clearly getting a new contract!

Gosling misses a second sitter. Get rid!

Ameobi heads over. /blames haircut.

HOLY SHITBALLS!

This lady has melons.

SCHNELL!! SCHNELL!!

Thought this was Dave on about the mong-filter for a second there. PS: every time there's a legal stream it makes me realise how glad I am that illegal ones are prohibited on here. Half the f***ing thread is about the stream not working, people asking for PMs () and other useless s***. It's not useless. I'm dying here man. PLEASE SOMEBODY SEARCH THE SOURCE OF THE PAGE FOR ".MP4" or ".FLV". The site uses JW Player it usually displays the direct url of the video. The website can't handle trhe load, the video, wherever it';s hosted probably can. Pleeeeease <script type="text/javascript"> jwplayer('fmp_news_player').setup({ modes:[ {type: 'flash', src:'/jw/player/5.9/player.swf', config: { file:'Ug4wic7Hf21mEidKRMBLb621GMGBHhWC', streamer:'rtmp://video01.kanal8.de/sachsenfernsehenlive', 'provider': 'rtmp' }}, {type: 'html5'} ], height: 290, width: 460, file : 'http://video01.kanal8.de:1935/sachsenfernsehenlive/Ug4wic7Hf21mEidKRMBLb621GMGBHhWC/playlist.m3u8', abouttext : 'Kanal8 Videoplayer (V5.9)', controlbar : 'bottom', playlist : 'none', autostart : 'true', displayclick : 'play', icons : 'true', mute : 'false', quality : 'true', repeat : 'none', shuffle : 'false', stretching : 'uniform', config : '/jw/config/1.xml' }); </script> Knock me off the stream at your own peril.

Vuckic shot saved!

Ooooh, that was decent. Gosling wins us a corner. /corner comes to naught.

GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!! /disallowed.

The Dilsh kicks like a small woman.

How man, ref man.