Keefaz

We're gonna beat Stoke 10-9.

Hilarious. Unbelievable appointment.

He could get provate tutors for his kids if needed. Ship over French kids for them to hang out with. We've got Frenchies in our squad. He'd love it.

He's honest in that interview. He knows what he can and can't do, and I believe what he says is accurate: he would galvanise the dressing room and get the lads out playing with some freedom. I reckon it would probably come off in the short term, but when we hit the buffers, I don't know if Shearer could get through the sticky patch.

Darren Daychamps.

Desmond Shom?

Love the commentary! Sounds like he's just done one in his trousers.

Christ. Does no one know his name?

He signed for Chelsea. He was hardly massively out of our league.

Purculiar...

well said. Let's just ignore the CL final appearance.

Not sure what I'd think about this, tbh. Would be a step into the dark in many respects.

Well... nice to have a darts player's perspective, I s'pose.

Who's got the energy to hate Bolton?

This has nowt to do with anything, really, but I'll write it anyway. My dad told me about his first ever Sunday league match the other day. He'd just been called up into the second XI for a Wallsend side and was at right-back. Match kicked off, and he got the ball, turned and some fella jumped in two-footed and ruptured his cruciate. Never played again. And he plays FM all the time. He's got an A4 pad full of notes, ffs.

Maybe he didn't know he had to apply in writing enclosing a current CV? They should've put an ad in the Chronicle jobs section.

Howay. The only people who play those are no-hopers like me who are too shite too play football.

Good point really. Also I am pretty sure playing on the streets gets you in bother with the nick nowadays. We used to play every night, carrying on until you couldn't actually see the ball and on Sundays nearly all day on a local car park. I don't see kids doing this anymore! This. I can't remember anything I did from my childhood other than playing football. That's all we did. Ever. We were still shite, though... so maybe that's not the answer either. I dunno. In my street, there were two kids who were blinding and the rest who were a load of rubbish. One, who was an immense player--like a fucking bull even at 14/15--could've made it, imo, but did a lot of boozing and fell in with the wrong sort. I guess that's the trouble with growing up in a poor neighbourhood, there are other attractions once you start hitting your teens.

I disagree, tbh. Managing a lower league team is nowt like managing a Premier League team. Just because you can do one, doesn't necessarily mean you can do the other.

I think it's just a metaphor in this case. There isn't an actual CV.

<snigger> fingering Taylor. My dad saw him the other day, fwiw. He knows him quite well and asked him what was up. Didn't know nowt.

Unfortunately, poverty just bred lazy, TV-addicted porkers for the past 20 years.

I don't see what's wrong with it technically. It's just the device of cretins and shitehawks.

I don't think kids play as much football as they used to. I mean, some kids play just as much, but when I was a kid even the spazzos (like me) used to play football. Anyway. I'll let HTT bring this thread to a massive, thudding close.

Perhaps Souness as some kind of jester.