Bad Mongo

But they didn't. Ashley did.

Sorry, fixed it now.

It will all end with Mahjoob's face making an appearance on a massive screen outside St. James' Park, saying "What's happening, dudes?" Then he dissolves into Mike Ashley: "We are talking Jape of the Decade. We are talking April, May, June, July, and August Fool. Yes, that's right -- I am Mahjoob. Mahjoob never existed. It was me all along. Wheeze of the week, mates." And then we'll be stuck with him for the rest of eternity.

So, is there anything besides the Sun story, or is that everything we've got?

10 new pages since my last visit a couple of hours ago. We're more obsessed with this club than the mackems.

Voting Keegan, although I don't think it's possible.

Are we allowed to sell players outside of the transfer window if we go into administration? If not, wouldn't it be better if we went into administration now?

Probably just Llambias wanting to show the operational staff his operational staff.

Unmotivated players, a squad lacking vital qualities in most areas, no manager, and still owned by Mike Ashley. We're more likely to go down than to bounce back up.

He's using all his money to organise a press conference to explain why he's not online? And that's why he's not online? Sounds far-fetched, but it's Dave ...

Well you cannot expect sympathy from people who earn less in 2 or more years than the players who have just taken their club down when the players then say they are going to leave. There is not a sensible discussion in here that can justify the wages that our players are on are there? The players have good reasons to be unhappy with the leadership at the club, though, no matter how overpaid they are. And so have the fans, despite being a bunch of impoverished chavs.

I don't think the man is capable of such an evil masterplan. He's just an idiot who had a lot of luck with his sports retailer business.

Nah, it's far too plausible for NUFC.

Using 'hot' as a verb is fairly new.

She sounds English. I'm sure I can do better.

This. Our midfield has some decent Championship players, but the composition is all wrong. I also don't think we have good enough strikers. I expect mid table.

Exactly. And he wasn't helped by Fat Sam's tactics of having him cross right footed from the left side of the box for much of the season. The crosses were often accurate enough, but easily defended against. Notice how he didn't play like that under Keegan or O'Neill? He's adaptable and will do as he's told. Milner is a more than decent player; unspectacular, but more than good enough for us. Apart from Given, he was our best player. He's far better than anything we've got.

We started playing well when we had Viduka in the team, as we needed someone to hold up the ball due to the fact that no one we had are able to get at the end of a cross.

Oh, come on. The guy is marketed as the most controversial sports commentator in the British media. He's a paid internet troll, and obviously very good at his job.

It is. I think people would more readily accept the fact that Nicky Butt is our best midfielder if he weren't so unbelievably bad.

Jenas, Milner and Parker were good players for us, just not in their last seasons.

Which he didn't, so the man with no legs had to do it instead.

milner handed in a transfer request 9 days before he was sold. Milner handed in a transfer request when he was denied a contract that reflected the club's valuation of him.

A fat fucking cunt named Mike Ashley often tended to act rather rashly with diligence due he forgot to review the club's debts, and the bastard couldn't even end on a rhyme.

Of course you can. Doing something against one's wishes might be painful, but it's certainly possible.