Theregulars

He doesn’t touch the ball and Zamora keeps him onside. Borderline mind.

Depay clearly talented, so on those grounds would be interesting to see what Howe might do with him. Don’t hold anyone accountable for not being good for Manchester United between Ferguson and Ten Hag, basket case central. I suspect it’s agent-driven though, but that’s just a personal hunch.

I don't think you're ready for what's coming! Another lay-off.

Genuinely it’s incredible the lengths people will go to - look at their essays for fuck’s sake - in order to get what they think is power and influence. Congrats, you just gave yourself a whole load of admin and massively cut into your free time. But it’s worth it because you’re francis deffers more of a fan than me! Legit thought they disbanded once club was sold, purpose served.

The missed penalty: it’s always going to haunt Southgate

What planet is this referee on?!

This could end up being a really interesting match

That’s a great penalty, well done

Second pen!

How long did it take to arrive from footyclassics? Thinking of getting my brother something from there for Christmas - 3 weeks in advance enough?

Argentina would have bitten your hand off to be in this moment when they lost to the Saudis.

I disagree. From the first minute you could tell they were set up not to lose. At no point did anybody break into a sprint

England played it like a pre-season match

Southgate will get criticised for that and rightly so. He set us up not to lose against an obviously inferior opponent, really unimaginative. Kane, Saka and Sterling outstandingly mediocre.

Their only tactics appeared to be sing loud and listen to Michael Sheen.

Keown: "we've got something to talk about suddenly" - it's literally your job to find something to talk about during the game you miserable antithesis to Darwinism.

Keown is an awful commentator. He offers nothing by way of intelligent or even halfway-interesting comment. "As we know with Lewandowski he can destroy his opponent". So many non-footballers would trade their mind-numbingly crap jobs for a stab at what he does and they'd work their bollocks off researching the teams and players and learning how to analyse sports on the fly, and would offer something clarifying and analytical to viewers. He's an absolute neanderthal, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing wanksock.

Absolute RKO

Can someone explain the offside? I just can’t see it

Reminds me of Jamaica’s first run at bob sledding, without any of the hope that it’s going to turn around. Stupid having them there.

And, I should add, it was your point to say “I doubt that it’s a Southgate idea”, for which I’ve asked you to provide evidence, of which you have none. By comparison, I’ve not said “what a great idea by Southgate” or indeed credited him with coming up with idea. My comment was merely to say I like him because he’s a decent man, which for some reason seems to get to you. Each to their own!

Yes, the video of him leading and directing the session. You seem to have extrapolated that I think he designed the whole thing from me saying he’s my favourite manager because he’s clearly decent. At no point did I say I think he came up with the idea. It seems that you’re trying to make something from nothing to fit a narrative in your own thought process, which you’re of course welcome to do. Just seems quite spiteful and needlessly negative to try and lessen the value of Southgate’s actions and work by saying, in essence, “well others are doing it too so he’s nothing special”. Some of us are allowed to find positivity where there is obviously positivity.

Cool. I’m still going to credit him as a decent person whose views on life are pretty spot-on and who has used his platform to promote positive change and messages of hope. I know the narrative is now not to rate him because England are in a bad run of form (and it’s anti-narrative to point out that this was arguably caused by ludicrous fixture congestion, injuries and experimentation), but I still like and back him. Is there a source for your doubt that it’s a Southgate idea?

Well no I wouldn’t say he’s “shite”, given that he’s delivered literally the best results in our history bar Alf Ramsey. The “football side” involves many aspects. One of those is tactics, at which I think he’s limited and unadventurous. Another side is man management and player development, at which I think he’s rather good. Sometimes opinions can’t always be packaged into one word, despite our intellectually stultifying and monosyllabic button-bash culture.

I feel like a bicycle, a lampshade, a Martian, a labradoodle and a bra.