Beren

No issue with him playing three times a week occasionally - so long as he isn't pressing by himself and chasing lost causes for 90 minutes.

"Hardest shot at the club" sounds good. Feels like we haven't had a decent striker from range in bloody ages. Schar isn't bad I suppose but doesn't have a crack that often any more.

This looks like his Arrested Development "chicken". Koo koo ka cha!

The Champions League qualification season indicated we were somewhere between the dominance of the "big 3" and the increasingly competitive middle of the pack. Last year indicated, NUFC were closer to the latter than the former - with the disclaimer that prolonged periods of crippling injuries had something to do with this. There's a few absences to start this season, but nothing to convince me that Newcastle are closer to Liverpool than Bournemouth. A generous appraisal would point to four points from six being a decent start, but results ultimately follow performances so I think it's a bit deceptive (albeit with a few minor extenuating circumstances). Bournemouth should have been out of sight yesterday but for some casual finishing. Recruitment and coaching needs to focus on controlling games IMO, rather than improving as a shootout team in basketball-style contests, which feels like low-probability stuff over the course of 38 games when you have some great midtable counterattacking teams. Someone pointed to Newcastle scoring a buttload of goals last year, but I think that overstates our attacking prowess if that's achieved through being as open as we were defensively. Desperately hoping there is an intention from Howe to shift the team dynamic, and Tonali is instrumental in effecting this. We're due a bit of an evolution in style of play. I'd persist with Hall while he learns to defend. Play Big Jo, Tonali and Bruno in the middle, with Barnes and Gordon wide - as our main starters. Barnes deserves a run of games now he's healthy. Hope we can get a new keeper, CB, and RW when financial constraints permit.

100%.

Pope kicks like Andre the Giant. Can't command his area for toffee either.

Credit to Bournemouth. Better side after the first 15 mins.

Do we have a sell-on clause for Minteh?

Both teams really risk averse. Villa won't have four players in Arsenal's half at once, and Arsenal won't pass forward unless there's four Arsenal players behind them.

How does everyone but Newcastle absolutely pull Everton's pants down

Bloody delighted

Quite looking forward to watching him in the island game tbh, thread-lockers be damned. Wish the guy well, except against Newcastle. Hopefully can help take some points off Man Utd.

I try not to watch Liverpool because it annoys me - so only see him vs Newcastle really, and have a similarly skewed view of him.

I'd take a Liverpool double over that. Can't imagine we've got a worse record against any other team in the last 20 years. The average margin of defeat must be 2 or 3 goals at least.

What happened at the end of the move on 33 seconds

Cuba's rubbing one out as we speak.

If the Guehi deal falls through, I could understand if the club stick with Schar, Botman, Burn and Kelly as the main four CBs for this year. With Krafth on clean up, as required - and Lascelles if/when he is fit again. Botman/Lascelles are down, Schar is suspended but that's not too bad if three can stay available. Presumably Guehi is highly rated - not necessrily for his existing ability - but for his long term value to the club, hence the willingness to spend big bucks on him. Getting any other CB in, is not as justifiable given the tight financial headroom. That four does require Lewis Hall to become a bit more disciplined, although I suppose Tino could switch to left back if Trippier comes back and doesn't look like washed-Trippier.

All the Chelsea lot are likely to be on megabucks, right?

He looked absolutely fine to me. Few heavy touches but that's it. No protection from the ref, absorbed a few heavy challenges and still almost got a goal, if not for a foul by Bruno on some guy Gordon was going to beat anyway.

Live look at Palace HQ. Guehi valuation:

Bangs in a couple of own goals, and takes off his jersey at full-time to reveal his Newcastle top.

Wor Tino was alright IMO. Shut down Edozie quite effectively, conceding only a few corners. Edozie was decent too, but had to switch over to the other side by the end.

Soton manager very pleased with the smell of his own farts for someone who lost to a side with 10 men. Bit of Pards about him. Reckon he'll be halfway as grey as Pards by May.

I did think about that, but he had nowt left to give on that front either. IMO.