"We was gonna sign Neiman, but he's 5 stone soaking wet."
"They said I couldn't get Neiman but were was they all these years on anafa planet? I play with him at Spurs we won da lot."
"I called Scaldado. The Brazil Manager. Called on at his home and he answered like 'What's on your mind, Joe?' Asked him about Neiman and he said 'Well he's all tricks, innit he?' So we'll sign Cole on a free."
Kinnear's probably on the phone to Scolari as we speak, just catching up.