Shak

Seen enough to believe he'll be quality given time, we need to start playing actual football a bit if we're going to make the most of him though.

Aye, I'd want at least three CB's ahead of him in the squad. He's just not good enough, unfortunately.

Colo could start for any team bar City maybe IMO. Krul, Tiote and Ba are good enough to play in a top four side too IMO, though whether they'd get a game in Manchester/Arsenal/Spurs/Chelsea is certainly debatable. Cabaye, Cisse and Ben Arfa it's too early to say IMO. Our problem is that we have too many shit players, not that we don't have enough good ones. Simpson, Williamson, Raylor, Obertan, Shola should be squad players for a mid table club at best, that we're up in the top six with these lads playing significant roles is commendable.

No way the smack in the face hurt THAT much ffs, if that happened to you in a nightclub or something would you go down screaming and holding your face? Would you fuck. Deserved red but was pretty embarrassing from Tiote IMO.

It's not massively complicated you dildo, just write his fucking name on that teamsheet that you give the ref an hour before kick off. And then repeat that for the rest of the season, even if he has games where he "loses teh ball!!" now and then.

Got lucky yesterday, a loss could have been a turning point for him, especially after sending out the exact same team that looked so shit against Wolves. Really not helping himself in a lot of ways at the moment.

Well that was a derby day. Ended up running around a small Vietnamese town trying to find a place with the game on, when I finally found one Bendtner was just about to take the penalty. Chainsmoked and drank my way through the second half with loads of Vietnamese people cheering us on once they saw me going spare. The hush that came over the place when Ba missed the penalty. Thank fuck for Shola. Embarrassing that Ben Arfa doesn't start and that Simpson stayed on the field after they went down to 10 despite offering absolutely nothing offensively. Pardew needs to sort his life out.

So far I've found Chelsea TV, a separate channel showing the Chelsea game from yesterday and some cunts showing St. Mirren against Aberdeen. Fuck sake.

Right, four drinks flattened in record time. Back in the hotel room now, if the game is on one of these stupid fucking Communist channels then it's to the mini bar with me, if not I leg it round the streets until somewhere has it. Some cunt has shat in my shorts.

The density of the sand.

Entirely possible to play a bunker shot with a 9-iron tbh.

at neesy btw, that made no sense.

Just stay awake drinking whiskey for the night until kick off, it can't fail.

Dropping Cisse. Another cameo today, for sure.

7pm kick off for me, the lass was on about going somewhere nice for dinner this evening.

You joke, but he had had corner flags made with the Sports Direct logo on. He would have got away with it too if it hadn't been for those pesky kids at the FA telling him he wasn't allowed. Club crest or nothing on corner flags. I honestly wasn't joking, I could see him trying to do it. Surely there are regulations against it though?

Can only laugh at this point. AIDS. Are there regulations against having it painted on the grass during matches? Could see him pushing for that tbh.

Yeah, how the fuck are we supposed to know what's happened?! We need answers Dave, answers!!

It's all a scheme to distract us from 'teh hoofball!!' We'll be too busy celebrating these contracts that we won't notice!

Just wonderful. Beat these scabby tits tomorrow now and it'll be a perfect weekend.

Marvelous, delighted we've wrapped him up long term.

Superb. Now off I go before the lass kills me.

I'm meeting my lass three minutes ago... it's ten minutes away and neither of us have phones.