Ashley17

Lass asleep in the bottom right.

Last home game though, happens regardless at this level

Bet on 1-0 Sheff Utd, get in.

Ashley will snap him up. Saved £1m or whatever it was in the end.

The Shrootster is 25/1 next goal. Shrooterstar

By the looks of things, I've won on whatever the equivalent of goal difference is. Best day of my life.

At this rate we'll be lucky if they have time to show the league table let alone talk about Villa

Was? Bloody hell what did Cabaye do to him? Had his name changed to protect his identity

I heard the kid's name was Damien

Great highlights these

Someone gave him 'clinical finisher - deadly from 20 yards' setting The fucker never plays though, although I guess he probably played Shamrock Rovers twice and most of the cup games.

How the fuck has Defoe got 17 goals this season?

I think Bolton will be ok if they handle it right. They've got a lot of out of contract players which may actually be a blessing, because they're shite. So they've not go to worry about shipping out the big earners before they can buy new players, they should keep Coyle and re-build. Players like N'Gog & Wheater will do well at that level. Blackburn however, are fucked.

BBC: Stephen in Mirfield texts: "What next on this crazy day? Tony Hibbert to score?!" 1631: Steady on, Stephen... 1633: GOALEverton 3-1 Newcastle - Tony Hibbert OG

Hibbert OG

Defies belief. Their players are "as good as ours" but I don't see Cattermole being linked with Man Utd, or Frazier Campbell with Real Madrid. Why could that be?

"It's a bit quiet for a match day, isn't it?"

That's me...I've completely bottled having been well clear about a month ago.

Ooh, he card read good. It's Curns stupid

Someone should tell Moyes, he was banging on about still being in the hunt for a Europa league spot.

The fuck is this, chain letters?

Bet Jelavic scores in this one, his record must be similar to Cisse's (too lazy to research that) but he's had none of the plaudits because his goals have been far simpler. Could be an epic day mind, hopefully one to remember.

Redknapp stifling a yawn there

If they can win by 6 or 7 here, that'll make it interesting. The mackems have a fair few ex-Man Utd, can't see them putting up much of a fight