Ashley17

Played 45 minutes of a practice match against Hibs. Leon Best scored one of the goals in a 4-1 win.

Ah, I forgot Souness' bald spell of 2005

HAVE, MAN! IT'S FUCKING HAVE! Could HAVE. Would HAVE. Should HAVE. JESUS CHRIST, MAN! Go and fuck yourself. I can't believe your taking something like that so seriouse when other people on here say things like ITK instead of saying the actual words, and other use a lower case "I" when refering to them selves. You are = you're, not your. Just FYI.

Had a brain annurism (sp) a few years ago

Jonathan Woodgate (Tottenham)

Louis Saha (Everton) Gary Caldwell (Wigan) Steve Caldwell (Burnley) David Edgar (Burnley)

Amdy Faye (Stoke) Scott Parker (West Ham)

My face hurts

Think we might see the return of 4-5-1 Fatman in the hole. Ryan Taylor has scored twice coming off the bench so he might be rewarded with a start on the right. I think I'd rather do that than start with Carroll and Best - Carroll's courtcase is due today I think so he might be unavailable anyway.

He only won as well

Clarke Carlisle is on countdown tomorrow

The contract length is so that he has some re-sale value. If we got him on a short term deal we'd only get peanuts back for him because his contract will be running out. The importance of re-sale value has been made very clear by this regime, for example when Llambias turned up to that fans meeting and explained Keegan wanted to sign Richard Dunne and Sami Hyppia but Ashley knocked them back because they're old and thus have little sell on value. Regardless of all that, his hold up and supprt play is pretty good, but he's not a goal threat. I can barely think of a shot he's had in the games since he's been here, even against Cardiff he ran through 1 on 1 and still failed to shoot.

I believe it was "fatty lump of lard" but either way, sucks to be him.

van Aanholt's last game is Watford according to http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/sport/5019515.United_may_extend_van_Aanhalt___s_stay/

Cleverley sent off for Watford, can't play against us next week if upheld. Bit of a bonus

Our designated home games night is wednesday, the mackems' is Tuesday.

It's on ESPN

I thought Inman was the young centre midfield hope?

I hate the Smith/Nolan centre midfield beyond all reasoning, Smith sits so deep he's not even breaking up the play, he's just an extra centre half so teams get within 25 yards of goal before he's even in the picture. This is not helped by the fact that Nolan is never anywhere to be seen, mysteriously vanishing into fat air. I'm tired of team waltzing past him and Nolan doing his "dog having a piss" routine by stick a leg out because he's too fat to turn and control, or even worse when he just puts his foot through it because taking it down would involve more energy. Both Smith and Nolan arguably have the best attitude at the club but they're either thick, shit or both but ultimately it's Hughton who should be spotting these things, hopefully Barton can re-discover his Man CIty form when he returns but it's more likely he'll go back to prison than play in centre midfield for us

Watched in the pub, what a shit game. Swansea don't even look to make chances half the time, just got to get those extra passes in. Our central midfield was even more anonymous than usual, which helped them a great deal. Harper - Good handling with a few shots but some odd decisions in regards to coming off his line/not coming off his line. Simpson - STOP BACKING OFF MAN. Cotteril is right footed, don't let him cut inside ffs Paddy van - Not bad, nothing obvious to say Colo - Top notch, our best player probably Hall - Didn't do anything too bad Smith - Anonymous, useless, captain. Nolan - Anonymous, useless, fat. Routledge - Second best player, actually has pace. Guthrie - Not a left winger, dwelled on the ball a lot but not helped by lack of movement and presumably somebody should tell him there's a man on. Carroll - Was pretty shite but got a goal so obviously that papers over the cracks in this idiots play. Lovenkrands - Can't be expected to guess what angle the ball is going to come off Carroll's head at, no fucker knows. Best - Improved us a lot in the final third because the ball sticks with him. Lush cross as well Hughton - Got no balls, made 1 change in a game where we'd had no shots on target after 85 minutes. Good one.

Shola dead again? I miss him. Expecting some bullshit about Williamson "feeling it" having not played for 4 month and then playing a lot of games in quick succession for us.

Lovenkrands away from home!? About time.

Quickest title update ever