GM

That's my point . . . he wouldn't resign. Therefore, he HAS either been sacked He has EITHER been sack or...or...or...or WHAT? Come on m*therf*cker, say WHAT?!

We need a press conference.

If we're actually going to do that (fuck the press, I mean) can I be first in line for Georgie Thompson?

So, what you're saying is you'd prefer to be lied to directly, rather than by proxy through endless self-appointed pundits, observers and reporters speculating wildly live on Sky Sports?

then had a wank Oh dear me. No.

No shit, Parky. You think?

I think that could well happen, and if it does I would have a much higher opinion of both Keegan and Ashley. It would be refreshing to see a disagreement in football not leading to toys raining down out of prams and someone getting the boot. Keep dreaming boys. Indeed. The repercussions from today haven't even begun to be felt yet. This is a defining moment in Ashley's tenure here, and I think there's only one party likely to lose out here: the fans.

It's bewildering trying to make sense of what is going on but one thing is clear from today's shenanigans: Ashley's position is now extremely tenuous. I would expect him to be seriously considering getting out altogether since it must surely now be clear that whilst the fans were happy he brought KK back, and he's paid off the massive debts incurred by the previous regime, none of that matters to the average Newcastle punter. They don't buy into Ashley's long-term plan...they just think of him as a sinister cockney wideboy with ulterior motives and someone not to be trusted. Ashley's position is untenable. The credibility of his tenure has been significantly weakened today, if not fatally undermined. How can he possibly come back from this now? Sacking Wise & Vetere might do it as far as some of the fans are concerned, but it would mean the tail (i.e. Keegan) is wagging the dog (Ashley).

From this evenings Guardian "The Fiver" NEWCASTLE UNITED: THE (SILENT) MOVIE III MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT: The Fiver Rag ( http://guardian.chtah.com/a/tBIvWHqAY30QpAe9jDF$ILcQsql/fvr18 ) INT. ST JAMES' PARK SALOON BAR Mr Keegan, Mr Wise and Mr Ashley are sitting at a table. The table is covered by a sea of empty pint glasses. TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "I've got GBP12m of the James Milner money burning a hole in my pocket. It's my round! What would you like, Kev?" Mr Keegan gets up and hops around with excitement. TITLE CARD: Mr Keegan ~ "Cor! Emile Heskey please. Or Florent Malouda. Or Aiden McGeady. Or Jermaine Pennant. Or..." Mr Wise clips Mr Keegan round the back of the head. TITLE CARD: Mr Wise ~ "Gawf! Kin leave it aht! You'll get what yer given, yer greedy little runt!" Mr Keegan takes his bowler hat off, scratches his head and starts to cry. Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with three pints. He gives one to Mr Wise and downs the other two himself. TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Doh! I forgot to get you your drink, Kevin!" Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with two pints, which he downs. TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Doh! I forgot to get you your drink, Kevin!" Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with two pints, which he downs. TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Doh! I forgot to get you your drink, Kevin!" Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with a glass of tapwater and a packet of pork scratchings. He gives Kevin the tapwater and eats the pork scratchings. Time is called. TITLE CARD: Mr Keegan ~ "Bah!" Mr Ashley lets out a massive rasping belch which blows Mr Keegan's bowler hat clean off his head. SOUND FX: Swannee whistle. The hat sails out of the saloon doors and into the street, where it is run over by a Ford Model T. TITLE CARD: Mr Keegan ~ "Yaroo! That's the final straw! Enough is enough! I'm making a dignified exit! I'm off!" Mr Keegan scarpers out of the room. TITLE CARD: Mr Wise ~ "Cripes, Mr Mike! E's gorn! Wot are we gahn ta do? Oo's gonna..." Mr Keegan re-enters, having run through the toilet doors rather than the exit. He runs back across the saloon and out of the front doors, a roll of toilet paper trailing from the back of his trousers. TITLE CARD: Mr Wise ~ "... be our manager now? Alan Shearer, Gerard Houllier, Didier Deschamps, Frank Rikjaard and Bernard Cribbins are all options, gertcha innit, but I could do it too, Mr Mike, and I'm 7-4 favourite wiv ver 'kin bookies n'all!" TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Yeah, yeah, first things first, stick out a press release saying 'XXX'. Meanwhile I'm off for a jimmy." Mr Ashley goes off to the bathroom. In the mirror, he catches the wording on the back of his shirt: "King Kev." TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley (thinks) ~ "Oo-er! I'm going to have to get rid of that!" Mr Ashley stretches to peel the lettering off the back of his shirt, but can't quite reach. He tries to extend his reach further round his immense torso, but still can't quite get to the lettering. He tries to extend his reach even further, but begins to spin round in circles like a dog chasing his own tail. Dizzy, he stumbles out of the bathroom, crashes into several tables, knocks over a hat-stand, and staggers out of the saloon door. EXT. ST JAMES' PARK There are about a hundred fans chanting in support of Mr Keegan. A car driven by an inverted pyramid of baton-wielding keystone kops chases the mob in zigzags down the street. Mr Ashley stands in front of the stadium looking dazed and confused. The entire facade comes crashing down on top of Mr Ashley, but luckily he is standing where there was an open window. Mr Ashley surveys the rubble all around his feet and starts to cry. TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Wah! Ma club! Maybe I should have given Kev some of the pork scratchings after all!"

I'm buying HTT's story. Sounds quite plausible. This can not end well, though. I can't see how bridges can be built now. Fans have lost faith in Ashley and KK clearly isn't up for working with the Ashley vision or structure.

And now on skybet: Ker-ching. They've set this up so they can make money. Bloody Romans.

I am fucking distraught!!! Has he really gone?

Wouldn't it be great if we somehow, almost magically, announced we've signed Gareth Barry, Nico Kranjcar and Nikola Zigic...

Manchester United have FORCED Berbatov to undergo a GRUELLING medical, having BRUTALLY KIDNAPPED the Bulgarian striking superstar and SNEAKILY HIDDEN him away in a SECRET UNDERGROUND BUNKER!!! SHOCKING!!!

You're all missing the sub-plot here. Berbatov's off to Citeh to be with his Bulgarian mates Bojinov and Petrov.

*looks up, reads............falls back asleep* 26 posts? 26? Who really gives a shit whether you're awake or not? Chez You mean you actually checked his post count?

To be fair you are not the first one to say this. I'm going to ignore the likes of themanupstairs and TT (though I'm surprised at you TT, tbh) - I have no reason to discredit my "source" - this isn't a wind up - not as far as I'm concerned... ...and to be honest, if this was a wind up then the source would know the possible concsequences for his own credibility with friends in future. I can't see him crying wolf on something like this, tbh.

Just had a text from a workmate through in Glasgow who shares a flat with one of the Rangers physios...horrible rumour this one so brace yourselves...but we're in for Kris Boyd at £5.5M. Apparently.

I guarantee you'll be WOWed when he sells Owen to Liverpool for £2M at 8.30pm tonight. As in "WOW, that's really shit, man!"

Nah we've washed our hands of the whole saga. :colo:

I'm not sure, I think they (the journos) have just put the fact that he's out of contract at the end of the season and the rumours of stumbling contract negotiations together and come up with OMG!!!11 OWEN TO OLD TRAFFORSDS/GOODISON/EWOOD/CITEH etc... Mind you, I think it's entirely plausible Owen could be gone by midnight...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7590492.stm CRUMPY?!!

No! No! NO!!! It's got to be Berbatov to Sunderland. Or I'm ruined. Drunken bets are all well and good, unless they backfire.