GM

Radio Goo Goo, actually. Whatever ginger face. Mashed off your tits again on Bacardi Breezers?

Radio Goo Goo, actually.

Agree. Over that would be getting a bit silly for someone of his age and the fact he's somewhat a fad. Not impressed by his and his agent's increasingly desperate soundbites either. I'd agree. This Arshavin lad's been whored about by his agent like a warty old tart in a dockyard pub - but funnily enough there's no takers: the price is too high, and people are starting to think that maybe one of the fresher, younger, less well "used" models may be preferable instead.

I doubt you'll pay more than 20pence. You ain't signing him, bitches. End of.

is that implying he was 22 at the time, and is just poorly written, or are they trying to say he's 22 now? Fucks sake man. It's a report in The Sun, so it has basically been written by someone with less intelligence than a braindead chimp.

Why not?

GM is just desperate for someone to look up to His height would be handy to have up front next to Micky or Oba, tbh.

They've obviously been saving that up for the moment we make a big signing.. classic propaganda from the Nazi.. er I mean London press I like the way they do it aswell, Newcastle break their record amount for signing a defender, I know lets stick it on the end of the Jonas is a fucking mental article. Not forgetting to mention that Spurs gracefully withdrew from the race - implying that it doesn't really matter because Newcastle only sign shite players, nutters and reprobates.

Too late to undo the damage then?

I will be fucking distraught if Stoke City sign Zigic for £8million when he could have been ours.

Oh. God! NO!!!!

No no no...surely that would have to be Warren Barton. Who cost us the f***ing league. can't decide if you mean that or it's some sort of irony ? Nah it was just a shit joke. Like the player himself, ironically.

Ashley, Wise, Vetere and Jimenez obviously let him down badly and there are dangerous factions within the club. Everything's on course to go tits up in spectacular fashion and the media are all circling like vultures overhead, waiting for the inevitable fireworks when it does. GM...i think dave was taking the piss (weren't you ?) I knew what Dave was doing. I followed suit. I can confirm I was being satirical. But I'm simultaneously aware of the fact that many a true word is spoken in jest.

Ashley, Wise, Vetere and Jimenez obviously let him down badly and there are dangerous factions within the club. Everything's on course to go tits up in spectacular fashion and the media are all circling like vultures overhead, waiting for the inevitable fireworks when it does.

Big fucking deal, and I suppose Mick reckons I should fucking know that or else I'm not a real Geordie. Mick - just for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qJNwMaYeiE

WTF?

No no no...surely that would have to be Warren Barton. Who cost us the fucking league.

Can you lend us a couple of hundred quid for a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich and the bus fare home please mate?

and I'm too slow posting from this phone.

What's involved in the 10 grand fan thing (I'm in Edinburgh so I don't get Metro radio...before anyone starts!) ?

Don't start off with that facebook shit again!

Aye. Apparently we're looking for another defender with a really bushy moustache...

Such a great mate that you disclose details of his identity to the whole world. Smart thinking, that is.

EXCLUSIVE!!!!

100% less than nothing? Mind you, I've done absolutely fuck all today either. Disgraceful. But whilst the cat's away...