Pantu

Arse/'Pool v Fener/Chelsea

Fenerbahce v Chelsea. JAMMY CUNTS

Arse v 'Pool, Roma v Man Utd, Schalke v Barca

4-0! We're going to get a hell of a backlash, over two games as well. Great.

Wish I'd got my 'Boro tickets booked already, going to be an absolute nightmare tomorrow!

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and it is martins up top on his lonesome

those teams are wrong, no cech or shevchenko

4th 1-0 defeat there on the bounce it is then

We'll draw 0-0 with Derby and all hell will break loose on here, then we'll beat Wigan 2-0 and turn over Chelsea 2-1 and a petition for Allardyce to have a statue of himself holding a clipboard outside the ground will gather thousands of signatures. Unfortunately the 4-0 horror show at home to Man City will see fans boo so loudly a minor earthquake will reverberate through Newcastle, then fans start hurling chairs and bricks at the dugout on the 70 minute mark when Emre replaces Martins, killing Allardyce, McDermott and already substituted Micheal Owen to death in a massive pool of blood. 7 points.

I couldn't watch all of that, it's an absolute horror show. So cringeworthy.

We'll get stuffed, they're absolutely flying.

Lampard and Gerrard were completely abject tonight, Lampard was barely involved and Gerrard just wanted to knock massive long passes all game. Absolute shite. Crouch is the only player to come out of the game with any credibility, Barry and Beckham just about clung on to some, and the rest were absolutely shocking.

I can't even watch the fucking thing, we've got a game at 2 and we're meeting at 12:45. Score updates from the sidelines it is, so my level of performance is going to be almost completely dictated by how the game has gone. If we lose I'll probably try maiming someone in the second half, if we win I'll definitely score 5.

Very difficult choice, I'd go for Carvalho or, as much as it makes me feel sick to say, Rio. Surprised Terry has any votes, never mind 25. The southern media do their job well don't they?!

John Terry by a mile.

What's this even mean? Basically, anyone who's young isn't allowed to follow football. Mine was away at Sheffield Wednesday in 1996, Robbie Elliot then a Mark Pembridge equaliser in the second half.

Exactly. Slow news day, so let's make some more bollocks up about Owen. They haven't even bothered to make up a pretend 'source at the club' to have tipped them off. Big fat pile of shit.

he aint underrated. All seems to rate him very high, as do i. I do as well, it's just a lot of people I know seem to think he's just a good midfielder, when he's actually brilliant and would walk into most teams.

Arteta

He lies Unfortunately not, he's out for at least another 3 weeks according to SSN. Don't know why exactly, they just had a quote from Allardyce saying there's no chance he'll play against Everton and he'll need 3 or 4 reserve games before he'll be in contention.

They had a hernia expert on just there. I hate how they talk about if he'll be fit for the England games all the time. "What does this mean for England?" How many Newcastle fans were watching the show at the time? How many England fans were watching the show at the time? Can't really blame them from coming at the story from the England-angle, can you? Certainly can't, it's pretty much the same angle whenever Rooney breaks down. We just seem to see a lot of it having England's favourite corpse play for us.

Anelka will play every week unless injured and, despite Bolton's shitness, I reckon he'll continue to do well. But other than that, you're right I really can't think of anyone who will play most games and score frequently, I was hoping for a Van Persie goal rout yesterday and then the fucker doesn't even play! Anyone who didn't have an Arsenal player as captain yesterday is a mentalist by the way.

Scored 2 against Bolton, set up the winner against Wigan. Pretty decent impact really.

This is interesting.