Pantu

Amen. This summer is turning out to be a lot less enjoyable than we all anticipated. Freakin' papers! It's only less enjoyable if you're daft enough to believe even half of the absolute horseshit that the paper's have been coming out with. As someone's already pointed out as well, Martins would be on his bike if a top team came in with the money to activate the clause in his contract, so this article is pretty much pointless and is very likely a load of s*** to fill up the sports pages. I don't believe this article, infact i don't believe 99% of the crap i see pasted over the internet and tabloids. But that doesn't stop it being irritating. Fair point, it is pretty annoying.

Amen. This summer is turning out to be a lot less enjoyable than we all anticipated. Freakin' papers! It's only less enjoyable if you're daft enough to believe even half of the absolute horseshit that the paper's have been coming out with. As someone's already pointed out as well, Martins would be on his bike if a top team came in with the money to activate the clause in his contract, so this article is pretty much pointless and is very likely a load of shit to fill up the sports pages.

Pretty much.

Yes. If, big 'if' I know, we can keep him fit, get him firing on all cylinder's and provide him with good service he will score plenty of goals for us. I suppose the bottom line here is we 'need' him, in my opinion, if we want to be even thinking about challenging for European places.

What f****** planet are you on? Well he's not a very good striker or midfielder so maybe his best position is at the back. Only time will tell. The gratuitously harsh jibe was mainly aimed at the fact that the story is probably a load of shit, and secondly because there is no way any manager in their right mind would dream of risking an average striker and failed holding midfielder as a full back or center half. Just because he is agressive and a supposed hard-man does not mean he would even be a remotely decent defender. A terrible, terrible idea

What fucking planet are you on?

Arguably the best newspaper in the world

Sol Campbell certainly won't be free

Must be a f****** slow news day for tomorrow's papers if this is the best they can come up with. Besides that, no thanks.

Inter leading at the Arse. Cracking header, Arsenal are doing their usual trick of getting into the final third over and over again but doing fuck all with it

This co-commentator sounds like Father Jack

I think he'll score a lot of goals. Couldn't be arsed writing something about him but I definitely don't think he's value for money, however I do think he'll score goals for them

I'm a bit bored and restless so I thought this might be a decent idea. Sort out your top 5 and worst 5 signings of the summer so far, based on all the obvious stuff like value for money, what kind of impact they'll have on the team, just think they'll do well etc etc just justify them however you want really. The beauty of these is that some t*** can bump them halfway through the season and pick out someone's terrible inclusion(s) and mock their pitiful footballing insight. I know it'll be a bit hit and miss because most people will know f*** all about a lot of the new players to the Premiership but there you go, just shut up and get on with it. Anyway: Top 5 Torres - cost a shitload but could well provide Liverpool with their much needed firepower Sidwell - Cost nowt and he should come in handy during African Nations Darren Bent Robert Earnshaw - a bit of Premiership experience which, if you read on here for long enough anyway, is very important and might just get Derby enough goals to keep them afloat. 3.5 million is not exactly a risk either Viduka - Got to have one of our lot really, just to be nice. Just because he cost nothing and should provide a very good partner for Owen and a few goals. Worst 5 Koumas - not convinced by what I've seen of him that he can carry a poor team i.e Wigan like the price tag suggest he'll have to. Chopra - Surely he won't cut it in the Premiership ... Utaka - pure and utter guess, never seen him play or hears anything other than he's Nigerian and harry loves his crazy signings which either go brilliantly or very badly. I'm going to say this one goes badly. Kieran Richardson Edit: Mido's such a wanker that he won't even accept the probably already over-inflated wage Birmingham are offering him so ... Bramble - Not a great deal of explanation needed, but he does seem to be even more error prone when his team is doing badly and Wigan are appalling. Bloopers aplenty this season surely. Off you go.

I'll be fucking delighted if we get a decent fee for him. He's a cunt, lazy, always injured and whenever he is fit he's infuriating to watch because he's either quite good or absolutely shit.

This is brilliant, not deserving of a thread of its own so this is probably the best place to put it. Courtesy of Mediawatch: 'The heartiest of hearty congratulations to Martin Allen, who may have signed a bobbins striker for Leicester, but gave us a good laugh in doing so. The Leicester manager had tried to phone Steve Bruce to sort out a hold-up in DJ Campbell's move, but was told the Blues boss was unavailable. Over to Allen: "I replied in my best Scottish accent that it was Sir Alex Ferguson. "Steve Bruce came to the phone and said 'Good morning, Alex'. I replied 'Good morning, Steve, it's Martin Allen'. He laughed and laughed and laughed - and called me a few names."'

"terrible teams, Fulham, Sheffield United ..." , well done

He does have a point to be fair, the useless twat seemed a bit harsh though

The article essentially says absolutely fuck all, so until anything a bit more substantial comes out i.e. Martins himself actually says he's staying then I think there's very little to read into this

Didn't they have a similar problem a few years ago? I'm pretty sure they did but I don't trust my brain these days. Edit: And by 'similar' I actually mean exactly the same

That's so Alan Partridge-esque it's scary.

Oh ok, Football365 a bit slow on the uptake there then

Undisclosed fee at the minute. Probably too embarassed to say it's 5 million

Liverpool have officially signed Babel

Yeah I read that as well, this Jason Burt character must be dying for it to happen

But they don't. I can certainly see the point of it, but I just don't think it would really work properly. A case in point being the Emirates, they've got one there and it's pitifully quiet.