Pantu

Somewhere between tenth and top depending on when the fat cunt sells us.

I was born there, but both my parents being geordies we eventually moved here in 1988 You pretty young when you moved then? aye, just 2. Did you stay there long? Until I was 19 and then I left to go to college. All my folks still there like. Not the most affluent of places but a crazy night out Ha ha, I'm from Dalton. "Not the most affluent of places" is a bit of a fucking understatement like!

Down to evens now that he'll sign for Man Utd

True dat. If this new Real side is able to gel properly, however, it will become awesome in a few years. I reckon next season Barca will pip them to La Liga though, and will probably win the champions league again.

I think he'll do pretty well, he won't be a world beater like but he should be a pretty solid signing. The problem he's going to have is when all the mongs who think he's a like for like replacement for Ronaldo start moaning that he's not banging loads of goals in. As an aside, I reckon Man United's shape will change a bit without Ronaldo there, and it'll probably be a good thing for them .

Never mind that, imagine what he'd be ike in the premiership!

Compared to Terry he is! I was just making a general point anyway, not neccesarily saying that was the ideal pairing I'd go for with the two first choices being out. 4/5-0 tonight I reckon, I hope we start poorly though because I like watching Capello bollock people from the sidelines.

that said, With Rio out i'd rather Terry be partnered with Lescott That makes sense actually. I cant really put my finger on why, but it does. You need one classy defender at least, can't go having two cloggers. JT's about as classy as those birds from the Britain's cheapest brothel thread.

Was great that like, shame the following 10 minutes were utterly gut wrenching.

Getting paid to do a poorer version of a gag people have been making all over the internet for more than 24hrs. Fail. Was going to say, usually find the guardian football stuff hilarious, but that was painfully unfunny Aye, the pretend Nigerian businessman angle, no fucker's tried that one like have they? I find the guardian footy coverage very good most of the time as well but that was hella lame.

One thing that struck me during this, Ginola was particularly upset at blowing a "3-1" lead against Liverpool, when I'm pretty certain we were never 3-1 up? 2-1 and then 3-2 again courtesy of Asprilla wasn't it? In fact I'm certain this is the case, except Ginola mentioned it at least 3 times and Howey and a clearly half-cut Bezza agreed and said blowing a 2 goal lead acted as something of a turning point. Can't be arsed dredging out 'So Close' to check like.

Here's Barry's full apology: Gareth Barry has revealed that a fear of 'going stale' prompted his move to Manchester City. In an open letter to Villa fans published in the Birmingham Evening Mail, Barry writes... "After all the speculation over the last 12 months, I want the chance to explain my decision to the Villa fans. Firstly I want to thank them for the incredible support I have received over the last 12 years, this football club has been a huge part of my life, I joined as a 16-year-old boy and now I am moving on as a 28-year-old man with a wife and two children. A lot of things have changed in that time, players, management and a chairman - but every season bar none, whether we have been bottom half, mid table or challenging for Europe, the support myself and the team have received has been fantastic. My one huge regret is that during my time at this club we have not brought the fans the success they deserve. I obviously have to take my share of responsibility that we have not been good enough to win trophies. I feel the club is in the best position it has been in during my time here, I think we have a group of very good young players, we have a fantastic chairman who is here for the good of the club and one of the best managers in the game. Obviously people will ask why I am leaving if I feel like that. I have honestly been very undecided what to do, the manager and the whole club have bent over backwards to try and persuade me to stay and made me a fantastic offer which I am extremely grateful for. But, after changing my mind lots of times, I came to the decision that the time was right for me and for the club to part company. I need a new challenge, I have a massive fear of going stale and falling into a comfort zone. I believe the deal is a good one for the club, I am sure the manager will use the money well to strengthen the team and the club will go from strength to strength. I am also excited now about my new challenge, a lot of people will question my decision to join Manchester City, but they were the club prepared to meet the valuation, which for a 28-year-old with a year left on his contract I think shows how much they wanted me. Once I had spoke to Mark Hughes there was nowhere else I wanted to go, I was also desperate to avoid any long drawn out saga. I feel I am joining a club that will seriously challenge to win major honours. People might doubt that, but I am convinced with the plans the club has short term and long term. The backing the manager will receive from the owners tells me that we will be a major force. Also the World Cup next year has always been a major part of my thinking. I feel at Manchester City I will get the chance to play regularly in my best position and play a big part in a successful side. Time will tell if I am right or not, but those are my reasons. I have grown bored of all the speculation surrounding me over the last 12 months and I am sure all the fans have as well, I am glad I never left last summer because I would have left under a huge cloud. This year I feel things are different, I haven't used an agent. I have discussed things with my best friend (agent Michael Standing) but ultimately made my own choices. I believe the situation has been handled properly by everybody involved. Once again I have to thank the manager and the club for that. I genuinely wish the club all the best for the future and want to thank everyone who has helped and supported me in my time here. For the rest of my life Aston Villa will be the first result I look for. Thanks for everything. Gareth Barry."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2009/jun/03/gareth-barry-apology-villa-manchester-city England midfielder Gareth Barry has written a formal apology to Aston Villa fans over his £12m move to Manchester City, saying he moved "to win major honours". The apology, which will be published in full by the Birmingham Mail later on Wednesday, is being seen as an attempt to repair the damage he has done to his reputation by making the lucrative £100,000-a-week switch to a club that have failed to qualify for Europe next season. In the apology, Barry writes: "Once I had spoken to Mark Hughes there was nowhere else I wanted to go. I was also desperate to avoid any long drawn-out saga. "I feel I am joining a club that will seriously challenge to win major honours. People might doubt that, but I am convinced with the plans the club has short term and long term, and the backing the manager will receive from the owners, that we will be a major force." Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

If he stays good to his word, that's absolutely brilliant news. Make him captain as well please

Daft cunt was only on the pitch for about 10 minutes as well

I have no doubt whatsoever that Hull and Sunderland are going to lose. It's all down to us, which is a shame. 2-0 Villa

Elmander scores!

Tuncay scores

It's the main game on Fivelive.

Bump. Middlesbrough (from): Jones, Turnbull, Hoyte, McMahon, Taylor, Grounds, Wheater, Huth, Hines, Aliadiere, Tuncay, Bates, O'Neil, Walker, Shawky, Downing, Johnson, King. Aston Villa (from): Friedel, Luke Young, Knight, Davies, Shorey, Milner, Petrov, Barry, Ashley Young, Carew, Agbonlahor, Heskey, Reo-Coker, Guzan, Sidwell, Delfouneso, Gardner, Clark, Cuellar. Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Steinsson, Cahill, Shittu, Samuel, K Davies, Muamba, McCann, M Davies, Taylor, Elmander. Subs: Al Habsi, Hunt, Riga, Puygrenier, Makukula, Cohen, Basham. Hull: Myhill, Ricketts, Turner, Dawson, Kilbane, Fagan, Boateng, Garcia, Barmby, Geovanni, Manucho. Subs: Duke, Doyle, Hughes, Halmosi, Marney, Cousin, Cooper.

Here's a pleasant distraction for anyone who's completely shitting themselves: http://www.football365.com/fun/games/missingmen/0,21276,13272,00.html Same scoreline would be splendid and tremendous

Jesus fucking Christ this is unbelievable.

Don't know if this has been mentioned already but Birmingham's bunch of neanderthal fans are trashing St Andrew's apparently. Glad they're down, despicable club.

One English side practically guaranteed in the final.