Ronaldo

I'd rather have some horrible illness than Alan Smith.

You'd have thought their defence had thrown the game, looking at the opening 30 mins of their home fixture with Arsenal

Problem is, that game against Reading was almost 2 years ago, and he's deteriorated since then, He's actually been deteriorating for over 7 years, disgraceful that he's still on the books.

Incredible.

Hand me the gun. No more old horse.

Of course he is. There's barely a striker anywhere that isn't better than that 6'3" stack of shite.

He's pretty incredible on Fifa, like. Only rated at 78-80, but seems to be able to do everything.

Please. Please. PLEASE.

Because he'll return that with a haul of goals? He's done it all his career, I really don't know what standard of striker people are expecting us to sign to be honest, given the response to Defoe being linked. Jermain Defoe? A haul of goals? All his career? Jesus f***ing wept. Yep. Defoe's just not right for us. He'd represent a risk not worth taking.

Harper was a very good kicker of the ball when he first came through the ranks, but years of warming the bench seemed to have an effect on that, for some reason. Mike Hooper was a hell of a striker of the ball. Not surprising given his heft.

you've just named Forster two weaknesses, especially the kicking. Krul appears to be weaker in both areas to me.

Literally about 40 reporters outside Giggs' house. All with big smiles.

No.

I do hope you've taken this sparkling piece of advice into consideration.

Are there any quotes in there from Carroll about Hughton's sacking?

Google 'Ryan Giggs'.

No. I think he's developed into a hell of a player. Like Tiote was this time last year, he's exactly what we need to improve.

More of a strut, really.

That's actually on the verge of being an understatement.

If you want a man to punch holes in walls - Pearce is your man. Footballing judgement - go somewhere else, anywhere.

I can't think of any.

More talking about training, really.

You can spot a genuinely good goalkeeper at just about any level. Being able to kick the ball is often a good sign, as is catching crosses.

What if he's simply a better goalkeeper and underlines this in pre-season?