Ronaldo

You'd think Wolves had been promoted today, like. Fuck is this shit all about?

Aye.. ridiculous for people wanting him to return. I've no idea why he's so highly rated with some of our fan base other than 'he's a geordie' Didn't you want us to play Sammy Ameobi today?

Not sure what the hell he was doing for the goal but he's done well with that save in injury time. Don't have a problem with him as backup to Krul next season.

Thank fuck it's not serious. We'll struggle without him and not just because of goals either. He leads the line extremely effectively.

We look pretty tragic defensively, mind.

So Big Sam will get relegated. Alternatively, get a life.

Aye. Why would we want Palace to lose?

Last week.

Will you give it a fucking rest about Sammy, man.

Oh good.

I can't. They were all stolen by your mother.

I can think of at least 10 sides we've played this season who were worse.

You love watching Diego Costa?

You've got to be joking, like. They weren't great but we basically had 2 chances and took them both. Leeds missed theirs.

It's the 13th, not the 31st. Put that Knee back in place. I'll put my foot up your arse if you like? Problem is you'd probably climax. We havent signed anyone yet, its not even halfway through the window, yet we've "messed up". There's no plan whatsoever (half arsed scattergun approach) and seems like the club thought they could ride their luck through to the end of the season. If you are happy with signing no one or some of the dross we've been linked with then fair enough, but I expected more. Two weeks wasted of settling in players, as we've seen with lazaar if we buy anyone now they'll be making their debut in a few month, if at all. It feels like the club of old, I doubt now we will sign anyone of note. We've spent 50m already this season, who did you expect expect us to bring in by now? We've spent -£32m actually.

It's one of the symptoms of running a club with the primary aim of preserving the balance sheet for so long. Especially when you compound that approach with scouting that completely neglects the type of personalities being signed. Remember KK and Bobby especially both saying first and foremost 'sign good people'. It sounds overly romanticised in 2017 but there's still an awful lot of truth to it.

Not sure what this is based on. Aarons might be Mr Glass but he's always looked at the very least a talent for us, against PL teams too. I quite like Atsu. He's got some good raw materials and is one of those wingers where everything might just click one day. That would be my one reason for signing him. As things stand he's quite a way short of PL standard, though.

They reckon we'll win all of our remaining home fixtures apart from one, which we'll draw. Yeah, ok.

You let yourself down with stuff like this, mind. And I'm far from Delph's biggest fan.

Over 6'? Carr won't like that.

Aye Going to be a tough window I'm sure Rafa could pretty easily find upgrades on shit like Colback and Alsoran from Spain, like. Miguel de las Cuevas and Isaac Cuenca off the top of my head.

He's easily the best of the bunch, like. Even though he has probably regressed if anything in the last 5 years.

Yep, I still need to find that old HDD. He looked like Ronaldo in his prime for about 4 minutes. Fitting tune, too, given that NUFC had literally just been in a Hollywood movie winning football matches and stuff.

Sorry to be pedantic, like. I was absolutely over the moon when we signed Luque and had hopes of him and Owen forging a nice partnership when the latter arrived a couple of weeks later. First time they were on the pitch together his leg basically exploded. Shame.

What's that, York? Sounds like I need to read it. Nah, it was great skill but he knocked it wide, right in front of us. The disallowed goal was from a rebound from a Shearer shot.