Ronaldo

Hopefully gives him the confidence to start banging them in. Him, Mitrovic and a new signing and we'll be fine up front.

Aye, I remember you're slating of him at every opportunity prior to that point like it was yesterday Lesson learnt.

£10m for Gayle. Would've been better off chucking 15 million quid in the air & hoping it came down as smarties this is what it seems like so far. Worth mentioning that Carroll couldn't score either until we got 2 wingers in the side and started playing football.

We all knew all but two of them are squad-level players, not first teamers. We can't expect them to look any different, really. As usual our approach to remedying glaring holes in the side has been piss-poor.

Yeah, every time I've seen him play I've noticed just how shit he is. I can't say I've ever seen him go unnoticed.

1 second.

If I was hollow man Tony Gale wouldn't have long to live.

Our game away to Watford last time round says otherwise, mind.

Rafa's a big lad himself but probably weighs the same as one of Meaty Mick's chins. Rafa's tiny, man. I've only seen him up close once a decade ago, mind.

Gouffran ahead of Aarons? Really?

Not out of position you don't.

That hideously lucky patch that kept Pardew in a job? Either way, 3 goals don't change the fact he's not nearly physical or clinical enough to play up front.

Gouffran tricky. From his debut against Villa he wouldn't take players on. He just doesn't have that in his locker.

Lets also try get Shola and Obertan back on loans for cover Bit harsh on Gouffran that. I'd certainly give him a chance. He was quite highly rated by most on here at first. He's just not a defensive winger. I'm not saying he's good but certainly worth a shot in the Championship. Or an attacking winger. Or any sort of footballer at all really.

Well yeah, he's not a striker, so of course he can't. Not if you want to win games. Come to think of it I don't remember him really playing up front by himself in a 4-3-3 at all.

It won't be, because Rafa isn't retarded.

Who the fuck wants to play Alsoran?

Against Fulham he looked frustrated about both the lack of quality behind him (3 defensive mids) and the leniency of the referee towards physical defending. The latter issue isn't going away anytime soon.

Everyone pretty much does at NUFC, though. Only players who come here with genuine quality seem to survive landing on the scrapheap, but even they are never quite the same - see Cabaye.

If Haidara's still here in September he'll probably be 5th choice LB. What four left backs are we signing? Gamez, Dummett, Mbabu, Galloway. RB, shit, always injured, plays for Everton. And all highly likely to be ahead of Haidara come September if he's still here. I meant Clark, though, not Mbabu.

Yeah very similar Gallowgate goals twice in a few days against Coventry and someone else I think. Preston? Also scored in the 4-0 at Ipswich. Scored a belter away to Palace when we were 1-0 up through Nolan think.

If Haidara's still here in September he'll probably be 5th choice LB.

Nolan was essentially a third striker in midfield who escaped being marked because of that. Bit of a catch-22 situation because up front he'd get fewer goals and in CM he'd often be overran. Ultimately because of the rigidity of Championship teams and our quality in defence he was an extremely useful goal threat with weaknesses that could generally be overlooked. Shame we don't have someone like him now because you can guarantee the likes of Perez won't be getting 17 league goals this year.

Don't know what the fuck they're waiting for, like. We're pissing away point after point and it's not likely to improve much with a squad this imbalanced and lacking goal threat.