Ronaldo

Glenn Hoddle used to combine both. You're always going on about Glenn Hoddle, Bill. You're never gonna meet him.

Baptiste looked like he was in the early stages of a nervous breakdown when it hit the back of the net, like.

Yep.

You what?

He's more a CM than DM. Hope he stays fit because he's so much better than his alternatives.

You talk shit too, though. Far too often, actually.

I never can tell with him.

I've barely seen owt of either of them so I can't comment.

He'll be off soon anyway. Dummett's exactly Rafa's type of defender and character. Can't see him losing that position with the exception of the odd rotation.

I want Stifler's expert analysis on each, please.

Been done.

Mitro's on fire.

We've got our best striker and attacking midfielder on the bench.

This is ridiculous.

Very good play by Hayden to pick him out.

I'm guessing he's slightly more likely to take offence if you keep mentioning him personally, mind.

Doesn't really stop him from being complete as an attacking player, mind.

It was an absolute belter, like.

Colback, too.

Did your Merc come with optional crack cocaine? Closer to Scholes than Beckford to Cole... I was 22 and wasted after travelling back up from our relegation game against Villa but as far as I can remember I never insinuated he was near even Division 1 Cole's level, like. Either way, I think we can all agree Owen, as effective as was in a few games under Keegan was nowhere near Scholes. Scholes was the complete attacking midfielder.

Did your Merc come with optional crack cocaine?

I don't believe it for a second. 2 years down the road Allardyce was ready to offer him plus money for (a surplus) Bellamy. Rafa was like 'yeah, no thanks'.

Our best DM could start. Gotta love STM's cracking insight.