Ronaldo

No they don't. If we wanted a 4-4-2 striker to play up with Cisse we wouldn't have looked at Remy.

Call William Hague. We actually need to end Argentina for good.

I do hope Anita develops to the extent that we're comfortable playing him instead of Tiote and letting him sit deep as he isn't a box-to-box player at all. I hate the idea of playing a destroyer at home against most of the league, let alone one as limited as Tiote. I hope Cheick does himself a little more justice this half of the season and we can move him on for a decent wedge in the summer.

That was a cross?

Replacing him very early against QPR and criticising him in the media. Pardew's tactically poor but he's not an idiot, he knows the game well enough to recognise that he's providing absolutely nothing. Even Shearer can see how ineffective he is; I think the word he used was 'useless'.

I think Pardew's just about had it with Jonas, like.

Not physically up to going to the bathroom?

Right answer.

Jonas over Marveaux? Madness.

Martins was far quicker off the ball but Bellamy was far quicker on it.

Really shows nothing of the sort, tbh.

How exactly would Carr go about scouting managers?

Who?

Erm...20 years ago? What the hell are we then?

Enough of this garbage please. He gets paid a fucking fortune to turn out for this club.

Marveaux off a lone striker, man. What an absolute shower of shite squad we have.

Has Stifler been on the extra fizzy fizzy pop again?

Think it's fair to say we've lost a lot of leadership since that game.

Who does he have to pass to?

Do we have any others? Depends on how you see Hatem.

Mick would still take him. Be our Giggs.

We've got nobody else really. Cabaye certainly didn't look fit enough to have started.

The football is dire mate, absolutely rotten. Last season we could say 'yeah but it's getting results, he's making us hard to beat and we'll push on from there'. The way we started this season was enough to tell me that there was never the intention to move on from there, he only knows keep it tight and nick one football. He's getting stick because of the football, when you consider the talent we've got in some areas, we're an absolutely awful team. I do think Pardew's getting a bit of easy ride of it in the media and from the stands, to be honest. I don't want him sacked yet but frankly the job he's doing this season would warrant it and then some if he hadn't done such a good job in his first 18 months here. That said, it's misleading to suggest the talent we have at our disposal should guarantee an on-field return in proportion to that talent. We've got absolutely nothing apart from Cisse from an attacking perspective and the midfielders we have are horribly unsuited to filling the void.

More to this story. Far more.

He's weak as water, like. Not a player for this league, but he'll have his moments.