Chris_R

Cole V Villa was the one that sprang to my mind immediately. Shearer V Portsmouth too for similar reasons.

Utter shit for brains, doing that.

This isn't a good advert for the Unibet app if punters are going to normally be looking at losing £100 to win about a tenner back.

There were mixed performances today. Some very promising, some pretty terrible. Colo was weak and slow, didn't read the game well at all. He needs to up his game massively or he shouldn't be anywhere near the team. Wijnaldum looked to have genuine class. I really liked him, looks a quality player. Mbemba was, aside from the first goal, pretty solid. His small stature will always be a weakness but he has so much more to his game than most DCs we've had over the last 10 years. Obertan was just a baffling choice to play. OK, he got an assist but he held us back in so many other ways. Colback was decent, and I'm no fan of his, but he certainly wasn't fantastic. I can cope with him OR Tiote in the side, if they have a "protect the back 4, play it simple" mandate, but when we had both on the pitch we fell to bits. I'd have preferred to see Wijnaldum drop into Anita's position and then either De Jong come on to play behind the striker or to have moved Sissoko there and brought Aarons on. I was pleased to see Haidara start as I've had time for him in the past, but he was bad today. He seemed to have good intentions, but couldn't do anything. We're crying out for someone who can play left wing, who can occupy the spot Obertan had today but actually threaten to get past his man and put in a cross from the byeline. I don't think Cabella is that player, so we need to desperately pull out the stops to get someone before the end of the month IMO or we'll have a horribly lop-sided team. The lack of height in our central defenders made it almost inevitable that we'd concede a couple of headers. I don't think anyone was surprised it happened. Colo-Mbemba need to only start against certain teams where you know there'll be no strikers who will dominate them. I'd like to see us go: ------------Cisse/Mitrovic NEW LW------De Jong------Aarons -------------------------------------- ----------Sissoko---Wijnaldum --------------------------------------- Haidara---NEW DC---Mbemba--Jaanmat --------------------------------------- ------------------Krul I think perhaps we need an upgrade on Haidara too, but maybe that's too much to ask in this window. Maybe Dummett can play DC competently enough (he's no DL) so that may negate the need for that position. I'm assuming on the above lineup that De Jong can stay/get fit and is a good player, but if not we could play Cisse and Mitrovic together and go 4-4-2 if (and only if) we got someone in the LW spot who could put in a good cross with their left foot. There's promise there anyway. I have cautious optimism.

Even if Williamson did feel ten feet tall, he'd still lose every header.

Haha, Pardew-esque in his attempts to ship him out. Reckon the calls are all saying "Have you lowered your ridiculous demands yet? No? OK, bye for now.".

Offer them 11m and decrease it by 100k every day.

I think the problem is we need to get people out before we get new people in. Squad size is limited to 25, and it's folly to have many if any players sat around on £30k/week+ who are not even registered in the squad. Problem is that nobody wants any of our castoffs because everyone's aware they're turboshit.

He's just announced his retirement due to old age.

Short central defenders? Fabio Cannavaro says hi.

Yep, he's got no chance in the middle now. Maybe he could be some kind of wide forward if we go 4-3-3, but I can't see that happening because we'll not bench one of Cisse or Mitrovic (or Austin if our continued interest is true) and even if we did, 4-3-3 would provide rubbish service for Mitrovic who we've just splashed out loads on. If Cabella can't / won't play out wide, there's nowhere for him IMO.

Cisse Mitrovic Shaqiri De Jong Aarons Wijnaldum Haidara Mbemba Coloccini Janmaat Krul Obviously it's a massive 'if', but that team could do a hell of a lot of damage. Or even stick Cabella out on the left if he sorts his game out under McClaren.

Maybe we'll monitor his age for a while?

Not being able to play on a surface hasn't stopped Williamson and Gouffran from turning out on grass pitches....

This guy signed yet? Chancel be a fine thing.

I trained some Serbian Air Traffic Controllers a few months back, and I asked one of them about him yesterday. His reply: "He is one of the most talented young players in Europe, but he is mad and needs to be controlled. On the season break he can gain 10kg and then be on the bench as punishment, then after a couple of weeks be player of the week in Belgium." Make of that what you will.

You were nearly right.

Vuckic is a decent player. He's just lost perhaps the most important 2-3 years of development in his careeer through being injured. That and he's about as fast as glaciation.

Players should get the statutory minimum wage, and then a £50k bonus if we win. That'd have the fuckers trying a bit harder.

You just couldn't make that shit up. These lines are fucking everywhere.

Read the title as "Ken Barlow". Not sure I can un-see that now.

I read that as sand cock. Seems more apt.

A blue moon is technically the 3rd moon in a season with 4 moons, and occurs 7 times every 19 years. It's extremely consistent, really.

I keep checking this thread but it's a complete waste of time really. Eventually, we simply have to sign someone, it's (almost!) impossible not to. But when that day happens, let's not kid ourselves that we're witnessing some kind of change of direction or improvement in fortunes. A hell of a lot needs to be done this window in order to move the club forward and 2-3 signings will still be less than the bare minimum. Currently we're on 0.

They're probably getting Coloccini to hand write them.