brummie

Offered a cheap ticket and a lift up for this one today. Shook my head so vigorously, I think I've given myself some sort of brain bruise.

Weimann looks like he mostly enjoys manhandling pints these days. Worrying.

Why on earth do you say that? We're fucking rubbish. We're better away from home, but even so, we're 10th in the away form league, so it's not as if we turn into Bayern Munich as soon as we hit Spaghetti Junction This will be 0-0. Nailed on. As for mocking people who go, fair play to you, you're all nuts. My mate is going up on the official coaches. Honestly, I think he's mentally ill. I won't even watch it on telly. No way are those cunts going to wreck my Sunday dinner. It's bad enough when they shit all over my Saturday afternoon.

To be quite honest, this is a nailed on draw. That's if Ron Vlaar is playing. We haven't won a game in which Vlaar didn't play since December 2012. He is the difference between an almost passable defence and one which looks like a load of ADD schoolchildren running around in circles. I'd take a point right now. In fact, I'd take a point from every match between now and the end of the season right now.

Honestly, that is my take on football summed up right there. I was thinking myself earlier today, "fuck, we're at Newcastle this weekend". Then i realised it is the weekend after, and I swear, I am not shitting you, my spirits soared. I felt a weight lift from my stomach, and a surge of adrenalin. Brummie has woken up from his coma after that horrific injury in late 2001. Err. Yep. I think.

Ultimately, as an outsider, you're 9th. Nobody is going to get sacked for getting you 9th. Not in modern football, with the lowered expectations it means for all but a handful of clubs.

An eminently winnable game for both teams, even more given you're less shit away than you are at home. Less shit, yes, but we are currently 10th in the "away matches only" league, so we're not exactly Bayern Munich on our travels, despite the media banging on about it all the time.

That's us covered. What about your lot?

Honestly, that is my take on football summed up right there. I was thinking myself earlier today, "fuck, we're at Newcastle this weekend". Then i realised it is the weekend after, and I swear, I am not shitting you, my spirits soared. I felt a weight lift from my stomach, and a surge of adrenalin. I wouldn't back us to beat anybody. Anybody. We played quite well for half the match at Cardiff last night - the worst side in the league - and still managed to avoid winning. I'm totally sick of this season. I'd happily freeze the table as it is right now, and just fast forward to the summer. Nice world cup to watch, no more of this shit to piss me off week after week.

Look on the bright side. Who have you got next?

i wouldn't be worrying about that, mate.

Meh That sinking feeling in the stomach just now as I realised we have a game tonight. If Vlaar isn't fit, we're screwed. Last time we won a game without Vlaar in the side - December. December 2012. Away at Anfield.

The on-screen graphics are like something from ITV in the mid 80s. Is this what happens when you ship off BBC Sport to the Mancs to handle?

One of the most ineffectual players I've ever seen played for Villa. Genuinely, I can't remember anything he did for us EXCEPT when he was warming up as a sub (waiting for MON to stick him on on 75 minutes) at home to Hull, the ball went out for a throw, Sidwell caught it, chucked it to Warnock who threw it quickly to Milner who lobbed the Hull keeper who was picking his arse crack on the edge of the area, all the time in the world. Totally, totally anonymous for us.

He looks like he needs to get a few more early nights.

We've got a chronic lack of ambition instead, I fear. Too many of our fans saying "we're not going to be in a relegation fight" without looking at the points bit of the table, just the position bit. Higher up the table this year, but playing wise, gone backwards, definitely. I think personally how you play seems to be more or less dependent on how Benteke plays, when on form you look a completely different outfit to whats sometimes appeared this season I think last season we were very good at chasing the ball down when we didn't have it, and then attempting to pass it when we did, but this year the midfield seems to have gone missing. The player most important to how we do is - believe it or not - Agbonlahor. He's deeply average in lots of ways, but we always seem a better team with him on the pitch. Benteke was never going to continue on a barren patch, BTW. Can't believe how many people in the media piled into him without looking at the fact he was injured but rushed back and played too early by the Belgian national team. The boy is quality. Our problem is Guzan is very good, Vlaar has been truly excellent this season and carries the defence, Benteke, Weimann and Gabby can do it up front, but in the middle we have Delph, who is our best midfielder by an embarassing margin and doing superbly, but he has to carry the whole midfield.

We've got a chronic lack of ambition instead, I fear. Too many of our fans saying "we're not going to be in a relegation fight" without looking at the points bit of the table, just the position bit. Higher up the table this year, but playing wise, gone backwards, definitely.

Yesterday: Lambert "We're working on about 15 things at the moment, in the hope some of them come off" Today: Fucks off to Liverpool with whole squad and medical staff, not signing anyone. Disappointed is putting it mildly. I thought Hoolahan would have been a great signing, but it was quite clear that with the bad blood with Norwich (them suing Lambert, us and them arguing over the Jed Steer price and going to a tribunal) there was a good chance they'd tell us to fuck off at the last moment. Which is what happened when they rejected our last bid last night. So basically, Hoolahan, from a club who hate Lambert so much they won't even take his phone calls, is Plans A, B, C and D to fill a position we have been desperately keen to fill for 1.5 seasons.

There's something about Tom Ince that I find really off-putting. I mean the whole question of who he plays for. His Dad is an absolute cunt, too.

Hmmm. Not quite every club

That doesn't add up to reality. Too often we try and huff and puff and can't force a way through, mostly because the only decent midfielder we have is Delph - who is so good compared to the other options we have, it is embarrassing. We have absolutely no way of opening up a defence. Meanwhile, we've started to believe this stuff about being a good counter attacking side so too often we are happy to drop back and look to counter attack, and there's a thin line between that and playing hopeful long balls. Don't get me wrong, too much of this season, we have been awful, but that is nothing about going long deliberately (as an Allardyce side would), and far more about just not having players good enough to do what we really want to do. By one dimensional you summed what I meant in bold rather than long ball. Contrast to when I thought you were decent to watch last season is massive. We're a worse side to watch than last season, but we're far more resilient, and are getting better results. We need to add someone this week. Hoolahan, who is an unspectacular but very much underrated player, in exactly the position we need one, would be perfect.

That doesn't add up to reality. Too often we try and huff and puff and can't force a way through, mostly because the only decent midfielder we have is Delph - who is so good compared to the other options we have, it is embarrassing. We have absolutely no way of opening up a defence. Meanwhile, we've started to believe this stuff about being a good counter attacking side so too often we are happy to drop back and look to counter attack, and there's a thin line between that and playing hopeful long balls. Don't get me wrong, too much of this season, we have been awful, but that is nothing about going long deliberately (as an Allardyce side would), and far more about just not having players good enough to do what we really want to do.

utterly nuts game. Great goal, too. As was Brunt's

Yay, we won at spreadsheets (________)o(___) I was talking to a friend of a friend in the pub the other day, talking about football. I was bemoaning our lack of ambition in the transfer window, how our expectations have been lowered so much the last few years, etc etc, and he started going on about how we've now got a much more sustainable wage bill, how it was once 85% of turnover, how now it's much more sensible and how with the new tv deal coming in, and commercial revenue on the rise, the figures look much better. I suddenly found myself reflecting that this must be how it would feel to be a supporter of, say, Marks and Spencer or WH Smiths or something, pleasure reduced to financial figures. Depressing. Well you could always have had Randy Lerner continue to bankroll Martin O'Neill as an alternative. Or, alternatively, have found a middle way.

Yay, we won at spreadsheets (________)o(___) I was talking to a friend of a friend in the pub the other day, talking about football. I was bemoaning our lack of ambition in the transfer window, how our expectations have been lowered so much the last few years, etc etc, and he started going on about how we've now got a much more sustainable wage bill, how it was once 85% of turnover, how now it's much more sensible and how with the new tv deal coming in, and commercial revenue on the rise, the figures look much better. I suddenly found myself reflecting that this must be how it would feel to be a supporter of, say, Marks and Spencer or WH Smiths or something, pleasure reduced to financial figures. Depressing. If it makes you feel any better, we would support 'The Officers Club' based upon that example. Yohan Cabaye was £147m this morning. Oh, don't get the impression WHS or M&S were chosen for any particular reason. This season for me seems most like hanging around outside Poundland, hoping they do one of those riot-causing half price sales.