Mike

Now is not the time for anecdotes that make him relatable.

I'm already in awe of how mad I'm going to be this entire game.

Sounds like the stupid fuck has a type.

Putting a bet on him scoring vs us feels like a money glitch.

I haven't read him, did he hate sports but not stop watching it as well?

We should be collectively fizzing at the gash at the idea of this season with the moves we've made and the moves we have the flexibility to make but because this daft fake London accent balsa wood furniture ABBA dipshit can't think for himself we're in limbo instead of dreaming of disrupting the entire god damn thing. Stupid motherfucker.

We can't afford or entice top 6 caliber players yet, so it's either do mid table shit or nowt. As long as we've got Eddie we're gold.

Shut the fuck up, Fabrizio.

This stupid orange cunt knew that camera was working, surely?

Waiting breathlessly to hear what Carragher thinks.

I have a novel idea. Fuck what he wants, do your job or don't get paid. Can we try this? I very much would like not to be furious on deadline day.

Gamma radiation making big move be here at noon! Here we go! Make sure you subscribe seriously you guys. Click the patreon link pls.

Floating inexorably towards my fiery death Here we go! Hit like and subscribe you guys.

This is exactly what ESPN want, they're not a legitimate source of sports news or discussion. Some 20 year old made that list.

Marianakis would have had him doing tik tok dances by now.

Aye Henry poor Eddie should just acquiesce to that Ikea functional cunt and that cult of fucking scouse twats and accept a derisory offer. Wah. Eat my shit you prick.

I wonder if Anfield Watch are going to be impartial.

I don't want him to leave, but I also don't care if he ever plays for us again. If a players prime has to be set on fire to prove a point so be it.

Can't believe how much the janitors and lunch staff were on. Wew.

The idea that an allegedly impartial media would spout that absolute load of guff is exactly why the world is the way it is now.

March Mike is floating and banging on the back of the bookshelf wondering what the FUCK has happened.

Bruno Jackson Gordon and Joe we'd just have rolling suspensions.

We only understand events in the context of rage, man. We had to hold this bullshit up to the light of 80 years of Alan Pardew for perspective.