Vinny Green Balls

True, but I never pass up the chance to be a pedantic prick.

The Ashley and Pardew Transfer Plan 1) Steal underpants 2) ? 3) Profit

It's Ashley's version of filling out the unemployment form. Make bids that can't possibly be accepted. I might be a bit sensitive, but these bids seem to be tinged with a level of maliciousness about them. A cruel pisstake.

Everyone won...except the actual club. I am sure that Carroll is ecstatic with his new wages. I am sure that Ashley is ecstatic that he squeezed 35 million out of a prospect who has had one good half season in the top flight. In truth, that prospect would probably have been better off if he stayed. 35 million price tag and the Scousers wont be very forgiving if he starts off slow. He left a fanbase that was beginning to adore him to one that may just hang him out to dry if he doesn't set Anfield alight. This is how promising careers can be smashed into dust. Francis Jeffers comes to mind (although I never rated him much whenever I saw him play for Everton). And if it happens to Carroll, fuck him. Worrying about his development is no longer my problem.

They accepted our bid. It's pure luck he's still a Blackpool player (for us and them tbh). Pure luck? The window was always shutting at 11pm Really? you don't say? Pure luck in a sense that we agreed a fee, agreed everything and it fell through last minute due to a missing signature. It's down to our incompetence not Blackpool's resilience. Then it has absolutely nothing to do with pure luck if it is down to incompetence.

Winners? Fucking absurd! I don't care if we have 35 million in the bank. We have the worst strike force I've seen in the 16 years I've supported this club. Worse than the JDT days in my opinion. We are close, but not completely out of relegation trouble, and we are going to rely on Best, Shola, McLovenshite and that Omar from 'The Wire' to get us those last 10-13 points? Fucking hammering a house frame together without nails is what we are doing.

I think that we should accept that everyone comes out looking like an asshole on this one. It's just with Ashley that it's something we have come to expect.

I have to give credit to the Ashley regime. Each time they still manage to surprise us a bit with their malevolent incompetence. I was almost to the point of accepting with resignation the Pardew appointment.

The Egyptians know that any change underneath Mubarak doesn't matter. We understand the same here. Pardew leaves, but Ashley is still present. This is the best we will get with this asshole.

Yes there is. Ashley is a really fat fuck. His life expectancy will likely be cut short due to his girth. Or in his dealings he may have pissed off the mob. Or he contracts the bubonic plague while manholing a group of rats. There's always hope.

no, the infantry isn't bad. However, who are those passes going to? Certainly not Shola's head.

Fuck Pardew, but I have a feeling that this caught him off guard. He's probably speechless right now, wondering what the fuck he got himself into.

Unscathed? We sold our one piece of armour, and are now stuck with just infantry.

Ashley is not that stupid. When I volunteered for a layoff in 2002 and was on unemployment, I would only apply to vice president positions that were well outside my range of experience, as I had no intention of going back to engineering. Ashley's doing the same.

It's this type of shit that continually irritates me. 35 million is only a good price if it is re-invested, and wisely. The money itself doesn't do shit. Why can't some people fucking fathom this? If you sit on your haunches without a proper strike force in a bathtub full of cash in the hope that you already acquired enough points to get juuust enough points to avoid relegation, how is this not an unnecessary gamble? Fuck me. This is insane that people still make these arguments. What alternate reality have you been lurking in for the past few years?

Wonder if Hughton's sacking has anything to do with this. Probably not, but I wonder...

Unlikely that we will be relegated as things stand...but why even take that gamble? It still appeared unlikely 2 years ago today. I'd say our chances of relegation this season just increased to about 30-35%.

Absolute disaster of a day. Disaster of a window. Disaster of a tenure. It's this type of brinkmanship that helped relegate us. Utter madness. Can Vince Mcmahon please put a bid down for this shitstorm of a club? The pathetic melodrama would suit the WWE to a tee. I'll say it again. Fucking madness. Will the perpetual let's see how this pan out crowd please step forward and admit that they were completely and utterly mistaken now? I sometimes get the feeling that they want NE5 to be wrong so badly that they are being blinded to the objective reality. Most of us wanted him to be wrong, because it would be akin to finding out the Mormons were right all along. He was an abrasive jackass whose reasoning at times was more than suspect. But he happened to stumble upon the truth with these clowns. They are not going to change. They are not going to improve. And this club will continue to deteriorate as long as they are near it.

Seriously, these cunts shouldn't even bother. We know what these cheeky bids are. We know that Ashley and his cronies are fucking douchebags of the highest order. I am sure that they know we know. I guess the gesture is specifically there to pour salt in the wound.

The frantic activity is a game of celebratory roullette while snorting cocaine of a pair of F Cups. Transfer kitty down to 34,790,000.

Donovan not going anywhere on loan. That's a non-starter. He's already proven to be an unambitious little cunt who would rather rot away his tremendous talent in a second-rate league.

Why the fuck would Fulham sell Dempsey? And he's not exactly a replacement for Carroll. Not an out and out striker, and will frustrate the shit out of you for 269 minutes before pulling off something incredible.

the casino.

I would replace Carroll with a practice cone. Low price, won't ask for 50,000 a week. And it will be like having Ameobi out there. A slight breeze and we would get a legendary Ameobi type diagonal run out of it. Good investment imo, and we will still have nearly 35 million left to invest in at least 6 more practice cones. And at least we know we would still score against Wigan.

I'll make my mind up on this one when the money is either spent or not spent. We didn't do much with the Woodgate money and ended up losing our manager who would piss all over the current one. fucking hell man mick - how long before you spot the trend. You mean the tendency of many posters to descend into gibbering lunacy? The lunacy is on both sides of the spectrum. There's "the sky is falling" lot who curl up in a ball every time the ground shakes. Then there's the apologist lot, who would want to see how it panned out if Ashley was ass raping them. Maybe his spunk is laden with gold flakes after all.