Gallowgate Toon

Cabella will be fine if there's some legit structure around him. If we plan on playing him like we did last season, in the hope he's a maverick winger that's going to dribble past 2 or 3 players at a time, then we might as well boot him out now. Probably the biggest 'system' player we've got, along with Anita.

I think McClaren will put Sissoko wide, for some reason. Wijnaldum and Colback/Tiote in the middle, with de Jong ahead. Leaving Cabella, Aarons & Perez to fight it out for left wing. If we sign Mitrovic, I'd still be starting Cisse ahead of him.

We've got a couple of players in the squad now that have actually led their team to some silverware. It's time to get serious with this and give it to someone who's got the right experience. de Jong might've been out a lot last season, but you can just tell he's the sort of guy that you want to have as a leading example to other players.

I like Janmaat a lot, but he doesn't strike me as a true captain. He's more of a right-hand-man, IMO.

I think we'll see a quicker brand of football, this season, and that'll be a big help. Too often over the last couple of years, our wide men have (slowly) received the ball in positions where our attackers are outnumbered in the box and midfielders generally don't want to get in the mix to create more space.

I do think we'll get a few in, but it's disgraceful that we have to move so slowly. Must admit, bar the odd soundbite, I like how McClaren comes across.

In shock news, Luke Edwards suggests he's a bad egg.

Didn't we have a really successful offside trap, a few years ago? Might be trying to replicate that. I saw a tweet saying Cathro had been working on getting our attackers to press defenders

They're a quick side but are they clever off the ball? I don't watch them much but when I do, the likes of Zaha and Bolasie seem to prefer to stick out wide, isolate their man and get the ball to feet, rather than make runs for passes into space.

Punch is one of their best players too. Surely a midfield of: Jedinek Cabaye Bolasie Puncheon Zaha Is far too attacking for Pardew? I think it'd be classic Pards, tbh. He'll be in full-on ego mode after his Palace run and will be looking to tinker, as he usually did here (see his '500 passes a game' idea after we finished 5th, for example). Isn't this usually his downfall at clubs? Sets up decent teams that grind out wins (Palace are a smashing counter-attacking outfit, to be fair), gets ideas above his station to be more attacking and the teams look leaky as owt. The players then lose the confidence they had in him and he gets sacked (well, apart from here).

It's a pretty sad move, really, but I understand why he's going to make it. His eyes are firmly on the International scene and he knows he's Pardew's wet dream. It'll be interesting to see where he gets played - his best form for us was undoubtedly as an AM but they already have 'Punch the baller' there.

I'm assuming they'll use Wijnaldum in a more box-to-box role, which makes me think Sissoko's off (unless they've realised we need a squad?!). McClaren prefers 4-3-3, doesn't he? Might be going for a mega attacking Sissoko-Wijnaldum-de Jong midfield 3

Papiss Cisse walking about Ponteland with, who I assume to be, his new wife

Lee Ryder is writing his tweet out, as we speak.

She likes Pardew. WNB.

I'm pretty sure Sissoko was played deeper when we beat Spurs 2-1, wasn't he? He was absolutely imperious that game.

Heard from a really good source that Stones is about to sign for Chelsea for at least 20m. Has he even played that much for Everton?

Paris is a mint city, man. An especially amazing place when you venture off the beaten track.

YES!

Her family are loaded, like, she owns Poppys in Ponteland now. She was canny enough in school, just a bit boring and plain. Awful thing to do to her, mind, she's pretty harmless.

Didn't he end up complaining about the style of football, in the end? It was either him or Ba, I'm sure, talking about too many long passes and all that.

To be fair, his Boro days were a long time ago. It might be the case that he's learnt from his experiences and has changed his outlook. Either way, he really shouldn't be our first choice. Garde :'(

His celebration when Sissoko scored What a fucking gimp.

Charnley's been making teas and coffees for everyone, just like before he was promoted to the ridiculous position he's in.

This, unfortunately. If they did it now after all the fuss of the other day, they'd get hammered for it. PR 101 to let things cool down, everyone forgets about it and they subtly just carry on with the same old shit.